Can adoptive kids considered as your own kids?

Answer 1

Sure, many adoptive parents consider adoptees their "OWN"

(In fact there is often an element of ownership in the relationship. AP's pay big bucks to get a kid, and often have many expectations as to "how" the kid will be.)

The big question is will the adoptee feel as though the adoptive parents are his/her own? For me, the answer is a resounding NO - and I never did feel especially close to them. We didn't look, think or act alike.

Answer 2

I would hope so. My adoptive mother considered me hers. Many adoptive parents of old don't. I appreciate the new adoptive parents like Freedom who consider their children their own. Florida Gal is another who is also going to be a good parent as well.

I will always be the daughter of two women. One who gave me life and the other taught me how to live it.

Answer 3

Do you mean emotionally or legally? I say yes to both. I adopted my son when he was 2-1/2 years old and he is definitely my son in my heart and mind and in the eyes of the law.

Answer 4

I think most adoptive parents think of their adopted children as their own.

Answer 5

Yes they are considered there real family because they are I lived in a foster home the same one for 11 years my foster mom considered me her daughter and I considered her mom My family there are just that family if anyone referred to me as a foster child she quiclkly corrected them by saying that is my daughter

Answer 6

They most certainly are!! I have an adopted son who is 17...I gave birth to my youngest 21 months ago...There is a special relationship that my oldest son and I have that is so wonderful!
I'll never forget a hurtful thing that someone said to me.... about how now I know what it is like to be a mother, when my youngest was born!!! Like I hadn't been a mother for the last 16 years!!!!!!!
Some people are so stupid!!!

Answer 7

We have 2 adopted children and they are definately mine! Our son is proud to say that he is adopted and our daughter is only two. There is no diffrence besides the fact that you didn't carry them.

Answer 8

Language is a problematic thing.

We use words like 'parents' and 'children' to stand for one concept. But the problem is, there are many kinds of relationships covered by those words.

In as much as we mean something like 'someone who loves and takes care of a child' by the word 'parent,' then adopted children are the children of their adoptive parents.

But things are never that simple. Because, of course, the word parent typically also means that the person who is a parent either gave birth to or sired the child.

In the case of the adoptive child, these roles may be fulfilled by two different people, rather than the same person (as is more typical). We can ignore one element, or the other, and thus refer to either the adoptive parent or the biological parent as the parent of the child. But we are describing a relationship which differs, in some ways, from what the word typically means. We are, in effect, making the language stretch farther than it was originally intended.

If we stretch it too far, then words become meaningless. For instance, focusing only on the caretaker role, means that many different people could be considered parents to a child. A grandparent, perhaps? Or an aunt. Or even a nanny (depending on how far we stretch the words).

The relationship of an adoptive parent to the adoptee can be roughly similar to that of the person to its biological child, but it's only by analogy. The real problem is that we don't have the proper language to describe these, often complex relationships, and we let the closest similar familiar word stand in.

NONE of this is mean to denigrate the relationship between an adoptive parent and the adoptee. These can be wonderful, deep relationships. They are meaningful to both parties. And the word child may even be appropriate (for lack of a better term). But it is a mistake to let language fool us into thinking the relationships are identical to those of a biological parent to its child. In some cases, they may be better, but they are not the same.

(Compare, for instance, when someone says "you have been like a father to me." We understand that it's an analogous use of the term 'father.' But we lose sight of the analogous use in the case of adoption.)

Adoptive parents can care for the adoptee as much as biological parents care for their children. And if that's all you meant to ask, then the answer is yes. But even then, the answer is so much more complicated because of the difficulties inherent in our limited language.

Some may take offense at this, but I mean it when I say none was meant. I find the language problematic here, because 'parent' and 'child' have been forced to play broader roles than they are strictly intended to play. It suggests the limits of our language. (Compare, for instance, how to refer to spouses in marriages where both are the same gender. 'Husband' and 'wife' are inadequate terms. None of that means that the relationship isn't one of deep love and commitment. Just that language fails us.)

I have no doubt that many adoptive parents have deep, meaningful relationships with their adoptees. (I believe I have that with my adoptive parents.) Indeed, these relationships may be deeper than some relationships between biological parents and their children. But the important point is that they are not the SAME. They bring with them their own unique challenges and pitfalls. And, likely, their own unique rewards.

Sorry, I've gone on longer than I intended, but I hope that this was helpful.

Answer 9

Of course, adoptive children are as much your children as your natural children.

Answer 10

absaloutely, you love them, nurture them, defend them and always take care of them, just like any other parent. once you have adopted them it is the same as giving birth to them.