When I was a teenager and my room was messy, my Dad had an obnoxious way of dealing with it. He would wake me up really really early before school started and stand over me.
He'd point and be like, "Pick that up" "Pick that up" and point at items on the floor. I don't know why, but it felt kind of degrading, especially because he'd yell and curse if I showed the least bit of attitude or annoyance.
Anyhow, my daughter is five and spent the weekend with my parents. She called me on Saturday crying because my Dad had done the same thing to her.
I wasn't sure how to react. I kind of distracted her by talking about something else so she'd stop crying.
2007-11-28 13:12:09 · 18 answers · asked by Ras C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First, you need to figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing for you when you were a child. Maybe it turns out you learned some self-discipline that helped you out later in life that is worth all the bad vibes. But if the answer is that it was all in all a bad thing when it happened to you, its your job to make sure it doesn't happen to your daughter. This is hard because its your dad, and he sounds like a hard-***, but who else is going to look out for that little girl?
2007-11-29 01:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't pick up her room, then sure, telling her each and everything she needs to pick up and put away is fine (more as a "last resort" kind of thing). However; cursing is definitally a no-no. That is mental abuse and honestly, there's no reason to curse at a child. Period. If you feel it is unacceptable, tell your father that he cannot curse at your daughter and that he can find another way to get her to do what she needs to do.
2007-11-28 22:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by ArtsyRNmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU are the parent now. Your father should not be allowed to treat your child in a way you disagree with. One of the greatest thing about being a parent is that you get to change the mistakes your parents made in your parenting. My mom was very strict, and I'm a little more lenient. I would talk to your father and explain to him that you don't want him to yell at your daughter like that.
2007-11-28 21:50:51 · answer #3 · answered by lvjaycie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That seems to be an excessive punishment for a 5 year old. Kids don't like to pick up and need to learn that it is necessary, but not by being made to feel inferior and worthless.
I would have a chat with your Dad and tell him how you handle these things at home. Tell him that you think it would be better for your daughter to encounter discipline that is consistant.
2007-11-28 21:19:47 · answer #4 · answered by Chelle 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
SHE IS 5 years old NOT a Teenager!? WTF. You should have said something TO YOUR DAD about that. That is NOT his child. SHE IS YOUR CHILD ONLY. Ever heard nice to visit HELL to live with? IF HE EVEN CURSED at her for not picking up her toys or whatever mess she made. If that was MY dad I would definately say something. YOU need to know what is going on there and NOT distract her. THAT IS LIKE NOT having HER feelings VALIDATED. SHE doesn't feel important. Because she is trying to tell you something what happened and YOU changed the SUBJECT. EITHER get counselling for your sh!t that happened years ago or be a man about it and tell your dad how it is, and LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER. SHE CAN TALK YOU KNOW. Not like she is 2.
2007-11-28 21:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Laura 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think it's cruel of your dad doing it to you and now doing it your daughter as well.
Maybe you should talk to you father and let him know how you feel about this and how it's really upsetting your daughter as well.
Ask if he can approach this matter to your daughter in another way, by encouragement. Like if you tidy up your room now we can go to the park this afternoon, or things like that.
If your father keep on doing this, your daughter will not want to be with her grandfather, and that their relationship will be affected.
Please have a chat to your dad.
Good luck.
2007-11-28 21:24:56 · answer #6 · answered by Win 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think if he was just telling her to pick her things up then its no big deal sometimes kids over exaggerate when they get into trouble why not call your dad up and ask him what happened..but i mean if he like dragged her out of bed at 5am or something that's pretty harsh for a 5 year old
2007-11-28 21:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by bellababi44 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mom used to do the same thing to me. It was an awful way to start the day. To this day, I still feel like she just woke up in a nasty mood and was finding someone to take it out on. If your dad did that to your 5 year old, you have the right to be upset. He's probably someone she adores and his behavior probably really scared her. He was out of line.
2007-11-28 21:49:04 · answer #8 · answered by ouramasongrace 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that was a bit harsh.... mostly because she is only 5, and she isn't used to that. (Especially if she was yelled and cursed at.)
That is usually used for older kids and teens. It is hard for a 5 year old to understand it, and being woken up early makes her even more upset by losing sleep.
She isn't being a crybaby at all. If that had happened to me unexpectadly I would have cried too.
2007-11-28 21:17:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Its not okay to curse or scream at a small chid. They don't understand the real message there. When they are yelled at they think grampa doesn't like me, not "I need to learn to be responsible" Talk to your parents in a nonconfrontational tone. Gently, but firmly let them know that this is not okay and they need to respect the way you have chosen to raise your child.
2007-11-28 21:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Blake's mommy!!!♥ 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋