ok....so here's the story. there is this guy that i've known for a while...i always had a crush on him, but he didn't know. i saw him one day and we started talking, and we ended up going out. we've been going out for about 3 months now. i really never loved anyone like i've loved him. and he said the same thing to me. but the only problem was...that from day one... i told him that i was gonna wait till marriage to have sex. he said he didn't mind it. we would get sexual, but never actually have intercourse. for a while he's really been telling me that he loves me, and i really felt that he did. but today he called me and said that it really wouldn't work out between us, just because of our lifestyles, but he still loves me, and he always will. and maybe something could happen in the future. he's 22 and i'm 19. i'm just so confused and heartbroken. he's breaking up with me, but on the other hand he's telling me that i'm perfect, and that he loves me. i still love him. wat should i do?
2007-11-28 13:02:09 · 9 answers · asked by Cherry69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he said that he didn't want our love to get stronger for eachother, because he knows there would be no future, because my parents are really strict with me. which is true. and he said he didn't want to wait longer, because it would hurt me even more...and it would hurt him alot to break up. he said he wants to stay close friends.
2007-11-28 13:11:58 · update #1
He most likely realizes how much you care for him and thinks he has you over a barrel. I know it is hard for you to imagine that he has any selfish motives, but he really expects you to give in and have sex with him to avoid losing him. Right now that would hurt your case worse than any thing you could do. If in fact he thinks you are perfect and loves you then not only will he come back to you, he will crawl back if you want him to. It just takes a little staying power on your part. I hope you have not been deliberately tantalizing him and leading him to believe that you might just change your mind and have sex with him. If so you are deserving of what ever cold shoulder non violent treatment he dishes out. From the tone of your short explanation I think you are honest and deserve better treatment than what you you are getting. None of what I have said relieves the hurt in your heart but if you can just hold out for few weeks and let him know you are prepared to hold out forever then he will most likely come back to you and respect you for sticking to your guns. If he does not come back then you will just have to suck it in and go on with your life.
2007-11-28 13:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Un-couth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, do NOT make the mistake of equating love and sex. If by your "lifestyle" he means your decision to wait until marriage then I can tell you that what he was really thinking was that he would eventually wear you down and get the sex. The boy does not really love you, and I emphasize BOY. Ask yourself what love is. Then look seriously at your relationship and decide if he would be willing to hold your hair up while you are throwing up. Or work two jobs to pay the bills. Or give up his "toys" to make sure the kids will have a shot at a healthy home or college. And to that end, will you do the same? These are the elements of love. Committment. Sex has nothing to do with it, it's only an expression of love. But it's also an expression of animal lust. Would this boy, be willing to stay and care for you if there is never going to be a sexual relationship again? Would you? Talk to the spouse of a quadraplegic who does NOT abandon their crippled wife or husband and you'll see real love. Anything less than a willingness to sacrifice for anothers well being and hapiness is not love. It's convienience. Best of luck.
2007-11-28 21:23:11 · answer #2 · answered by Wiccanfundie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't wait, you proved the first exercise of waiting in the first place.
I think you could either reconsider your morals or tell him to go away, sometimes absence make the heart grow fonder.
It may be the medicene he deserves..
Goodluck
2007-11-28 21:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by Realness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FORGET him totally....I agree with chick above me there ARE guys that wait too and RESPECT women. THIS guy doesnt really love you or hed respect you and he dont cause he dumped you cause he didnt want to wait for sex. time will tell if he winds up with some stds you will be thankful you moved on.
2007-11-28 21:08:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him go, because this is what he wants to do. Its not about sex, it's about things not working out between you guys. You are so young, you'll find someone who will love you for who you are. Good luck, darling.
2007-11-28 21:08:51 · answer #5 · answered by Shadowburn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either go against your morals.......or be well rid of him. If he doesn't think enough of you to respect your choice he isn't worth the heartache. You already know he isn't worth it if he leaves after only 3 months. You were right to hold out.
2007-11-28 21:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a friend to ask him what the reason was that he broke up with you because there is no way he loves you that much and still breaks up with you if there isnt a reason behind it...somethings up
2007-11-28 21:07:53 · answer #7 · answered by Caitleen R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him.
I know you know logically the reason he dumped you was because you wouldn't sleep with you.
He doesn't deserve you honey. They ARE men who really do LOVE and really DO wait.
2007-11-28 21:06:00 · answer #8 · answered by Willow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to find out why he is dumping you. mabey he thinks your too perfect and he feels like trash.
2007-11-28 21:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by Munchie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋