i want my boyfriend to forgive me n love me back, how?

Question

last week he found out i chatted with a guy friend, he was angry because i did not tell him that i chatted for 1 month n not telling him. we've been together for 5 years.. i once went for a drink with a guy fren n did not tell him untill he found out. he just cant accept me again for hiding things from him. we already discussed this n he said he cant accept for being a liar. he said he does not love me again just because of this. i am so sorry n he knows i love him n not cheating on him but the fact of me lying to him is the matter that he said he cant accept it. please tell me how do i win him back. please...

Answer 1

You need to give it time....You lied to him and you hid stuff from him what do you expect...No matter how harmless it was, it was just wrong. All I can say is give him time.

Answer 2

I don't understand what he's so upset about, unless there is more to your story than you are telling.

So, you chatted with a guy friend. Does this mean you can't have any guy friends? Or do you have to tell him every time you talk/chat with another guy?...Also, was there more to your "I went to have a drink with a guy friend." I use to play tennis with a girl I work with - we're friends - she was married, I was engaged - so what. We did this during lunch; and neither had to go tell our significant others about it.

If your b/f is so insecure that you can't have other guy friends, your relationship needs work. Does he tell you every time he talks to a girl?

In reading between the lines, I sense there is more to the lack of trust here. As the others have said - trust, once broken is hard to regain. It could also be that your b/f, by his saying he can't accept you again, is looking for a reason to leave and this is it. Even if you work it out this time, it seems that you'll always be on guard. Not a fun way to live, either.

I hope you can work things out, but it sounds like there is a history (or a jealous personality) that may be difficult to overcome.

Answer 3

Hun, I know it's hard but you just got to give him some time to think about everything that has just happened between the two of you. I mean, look at his point of view, ya'll have been together for five years. What would you do if he had been chatting with a girl for a month? I would go ballestic but just give him some time alone. Call him as a friend and see how he's doing in about a week or so. Maybe a couple of weeks or a month ask him to dinner or something. Then you could try to get close to him again and then maybe you guys could start dating again. You never know until you try. That's what my mom always told me. Anyways, good luck and I know it's hard. I hope everything works out for the best for both of you.

Answer 4

Not much you can do, if it was already discussed after you got caught last time. Why do you insist on being underhanded. If you wish to talk to them you have every right, but you must be straight forward with the boyfriend. Either, stop talking to other guys or have it out with the boyfriend and choose your path. But he has every right not to trust you, which he is right, "no trust, no relationship". He will probably punish you for a while, one cannot just turn love off, then accept you back with that rule. In the mean time you better figure out do you want him controling your choice of friends, usually this is only the biginning of the control.

Answer 5

Quiz for whether to go or stay:

1) Are you happy with him? Why?

2) Do all of your needs for social interaction get met by him?
2a) Do you really think it's possible for one person to meet all the needs of another person?

3) Are you happy being only allowed to talk to him?

4) When you imagine your life 5 years from now, do you envision that you will be happy only being allowed to talk to your boyfriend?

5) Does it feel good being made to feel guilty and that you're cheating because of speaking with another human being who happens to be male?

And even if all your answers to all these questions lead you to believe you should stay with him, you have to remember that you can't MAKE him do anything.

Also remember that controlling, isolating behavior is a hallmark of an abuser. Once you are totally alone and dependent, he can tell you anything and, because you rely exclusively on him, there is no one to say, "Whoa, wait a minute, what is this (bleep) he's pulling?" And he can slowly wear down your self-esteem and self-confidence until you're walking on eggshells and every single thing you do is wrong...no matter what.

I'm not saying that is what he's doing, of course, since I don't know you or him, but when you get a huge overreaction (talking to someone else is 'cheating'?!) and a major guilt trip and an "I don't love you any more," well, I have to wonder.

Go here to check out his behavior and see if it says anything to your situation:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/domesticviolence.html

Good luck.

Answer 6

Just show tat u r really love him & try 2 find tat what is the main reason tat he loves u. I think he really loves u bcoz he's jealous tat u only talk 2 ur guy fren. Meanwhile u also need 2 prove tat u & ur guy fren is ONLY normal's friend by asking both of them 2 go out 4 a drink then he will know tat there is nothing special between u & ur guy fren. Hope tis can help..

Answer 7

Tell him your very sorry and that you will never do it again and give you another chance if he says no. then start crying and then he might lighten up a little and give you a second chance.just tell him that you didnt mean to make him mad at you. he probably will understand but sometimes you have to move on i'v has 2 gf's and one only lasted a year and the other 2 years so just do what i said and he will take you back.

Answer 8

I can totally relate to you because I just went through something similar. I believe that the only thing you can do is give him time to forgive you we as womaen feel like the things we do don't hurt guys when they do. Once you break the trust it really is hard to get it back but if this is someone you really want to be with you have to start being honest with him at all times even if it hurts he will respect you more for it Good luck to you

Answer 9

ok if u really r sorry show him so...u love him? go beyond expectations 2 try 2 win him back be creative...if the guy was really just a "guy friend" just let him kno it wasnt really a big deal and that ur sorry for not telling him then tell the truth on y u didnt tell him maybe..."I didnt know it was that big of a deal...if i knew it was i would of told you, im sorry." make him listen to you if hes the really jealous type, and if he still has a shred of love left he should take u bck good luck and go get him! email me if u have any more questions!

Answer 10

how long have you been apart if its too long say a month . he doesnt love you and probably didnt before this...i agree with him for being angry you should of told him he needs to be able to trust you and it doesnt help when you keeping things from him...i always tell my boyfriend what i do , he doesnt ask but i tell him so i can show him he can trust me and that i''m honest and open . dont keep things from your boyfriend if you think he will get mad becoz of what you tell .. your doing something wrong.......Why do you need a guy friend isnt your boyfreind your friend thats werid .. i dont have guy friends becoz my boyfreind is the only guy i want to talk to and hang out with.

Answer 11

Explain to him you're not hiding anything from him that because you chatted with his friend it was not a big deal to you. Hopefully when you were confronted you did not lie to him. Ask him why he is so insecure, and tell him you will try to be more sensitive. Then give him a big wet kiss!