Whats the best way to let a good friend that you kinda/sorta lead on that your not interested?

Question

Kay here's the story, It was my first year at university and although i hung out with quite a few circles of friends there were no real close friends i got to know. Then I started hanging out with this one girl from my classes, she was in the same classes as I was and she was fun so I got to know her a little better. Sure i flirted with her now and then but it was nothing i didnt do with all of my other friends....but something tells me she doesnt know that and just now as she got off the bus she told me she likes me.

I feel like a jackass for leading her on and she's an awesome girl, what should I say to her?

Answer 1

You should tell her that you are concentrating on school right now and you are not interested in a serious relationship and with that being said, you don't want to hurt her. Tell her you are sorry for misleading her and you would like to remain friends.

Answer 2

This is a mess, but I will do my best.
So how do you undo a hearts mistake? First of all, it was not your fault. There was one aspect in your behavior that sent her heart, "not her", but her heart the wrong signal. With her feelings on the line, you are walking on thin ice.
With all this said, and on your mind, tell her you need to talk to her about what she said when she got off the bus. Don't say the words she said to you. That will reinforce it, I don't know how it does, but it does. With a soft tone in your voice, tell her she has gotten the wrong Idea about you. Tell her you like to hang out with her, join in her interest, be a shoulder for her to cry on, but that is as far as it will go. Because you were never in a relationship with her, I have found out that these friends are the ones who are there for life. Once she knows that nothing will ever become more than that, she will be honored by it. The chemistry is not being released in the both of your brains at the sametime, that is the reason this is an uneven relationship. You both are in college, therefore you both are smart enough to know that the chemistry has to be in tune with the heart in order to make a total love connection. Her connection is searching for your connection, to which it will never be able to find, cause it just is not there. In other words, her heart and brain is not on the same sheet of music. Explan it to her in this way, keep the mood light. You both don't need any drama added to your class load and getting good grades.
God Bless you both and take care.

Answer 3

Well it was not right of you to lead her on. So stop leading her on from this point. Tell her that you are not looking to get into a relationship and that you have an awesome time hanging out with such a great person as herself.

Also tell her that you wouldn't want to mess up your friendship with her. Because if you two went out and things went sour you would lose a great friend. Tell her you don't want to take that chance and that you have many friends at the university but she is one of the coolest people that you know. Apologize for the misunderstanding and hopefully she will understand. Also tell her that things won't change between the two of you and how grateful you are for having such an awesome friend.

I hope this helps. But next time don't lead someone on if you have no intentions of dating them ok :). Hope you have a great holiday.

RK

Answer 4

You should feel like a jack***. That said and done, you now have the responsibility of coming clean and reversing what you helped manifest. Without stalling, first chance, let her know how you appreciate the platonic relationship and how truly special she is. The key here is owning up to the miss-placed flirtation. Let her know you feel bad for mis-leading her and hope she will trust you and accept your sincere friendship. This is what, in my estimation, determine as being a stand up person. It is just my personal opinion. Give her time and space after that. If she continues to accept you, then consider yourself blessed and honored to have a true friend.
Remember this...good character is caring for the feelings of people you let come close to you. I sense you have it. That is why you feel badly. Don't beat yourself up over it...just make it right. You both will appreciate.

Answer 5

Tell her exactly what you said here, I am sorry but I think I might have been leading you on, you're an awesome girl and a great friend, but I don't want you to miss any opportunities because you think I am interested in you.

Truth is always better than corny lines.

John

Answer 6

Just say thank you that you can use as many friends as you can get. That lets her know that you only consider her a friend, and then it is up to her to ajust so she doesn't get hurt. If it goes farther, explain that you talk like that to all the girls, and your sorry if she got the wrong idea.

Answer 7

Tell her that she is pretty and a nice girl but you don't want to be more than friends with her and next time to avoid this situation don't lead nobody on because people will really think that you want them and you will hurt their feelings.

Answer 8

I think that you should confort her in letting her know that you do value her as a friend, and the friendship. Also let her know that you dont have feelings for her, in that way. Be sincere about it, she is your friend. Because I know that I would rather have that person as a friend than not have the friendship at all!!

Answer 9

Tell her you're not looking for a gf, you just wanna hang out and be friendly with people at this point in your life. And that means you want to be her friend.

Answer 10

You: Things are going really good right now, and our friendship is great. Taking it further than that might not work, and one of us could end up hurt. I think it would be best for both of us we remained just friend.


Or something to that effect.