need advice having a problem with depression?

Question

im 29 abused when i was younger (15)by my grandfather both physical and mental so was another family member his daughter for ages
i feel like im 15 in mind becouse i seem to be stuck back then..
im seeing a rape crisis center which helps but im slipping and i need to know what to do...
my mother and father love me but have let me get on with life which has made me feel alone their never there i have a daughter they dont see yet their 10 min down rd and to top it all off just been away on holiday 1800 quids later (price of holiday alone) i dont dispute the holiday but know they say their broke and cant buy their granddaughter nothing grrr im so mad at them i know i sound selfish but i thought they would pay their granddaughter more affection they have seen her once this yr they live 10 min car ride but always buisy i need to let go but its hard im always looking for a praise from them there approvel there love but its all false and i get hurt

im on 40mg citralopram

i want to move on i really want to write a book but dont know how i know its a difficult subj me my aunt my grandad and god knows who else erm, i just cant sleep i am supposed to write questions i had from back then in a letter but wat good will that do.... nearly 16 yrs later and im still going through it its killing me

part of me feels like im always looking for approval from my parents yet their never there, i have achived alot im studying which is something i thought id never do again since thats how he got to me..

i go rouond in circles i should be asleep yet im wide awake again.... thinking,,,

you know its so easy to drink and forget bloody life is ****....gota pul l it togeva

so fed up of going round and round

Answer 1

Let it go sweetheart. Forget about what your family has done and concentrate on your daughter. If you don't break the cycle she too will suffer. I was on medicine for years. The medicine numbs the pain, but the scar remains and sometimes old wounds open. You must figure out what exactly is bothering you. Is it the fact that your grandfath rabused you or the fact that nothing was ever done to stop him and he may do it again? You are a strong woman. Woman are strong. To hell with him. He does not determine you. Take your power back.

Answer 2

about 5 years ago, I started to fall into a really depressive episode. At first I thought it was only because I had a bad break from a relationship but the feelings wouldn't go away even after I got a new girlfriend. It was wrecking my life until a point where it was seriously affecting my work and personal life.

She was very worried but at the same time couldn't understand why I was still sad and thought that I still couldn't let go of my previous relationship. Being the wonderful person that she is, she put aside her feelings and suggested I go for psychiatric evaluation. Many months later and even more anti-depressants, I was not coming close to being better at all.

After doing some research online, I found out the real cause as you described it really makes a lot of sense and purchased this program. The results were simply astonishing. I read this book over three times and put all words in action. Using this method, I've kept my depression at bay ever since. Up to date I'm still living happily with my girlfriend.

Depression Free Method?

Answer 3

Don't give up hope ! a year ago i almost gave up myself from a bad divorce seemed like everything was falling apart. i to am on fluoxetine 20mg it helps but there are days i feel the depression coming on full force but am learning to relearn how i think about myself and family you have to think positive even when it all falls apart !! love your child she will never forget that you loved her through the tough times ! learn to love yourself first then love another person learned this the hard way also . keep your head up !! time heals wounds if you let it !

Answer 4

I went through a similar situation growing up, only it was abuse from my father. The best advice I can give you, which helped me, is to give it to the Lord. He alone knows what you've suffered through and can take these burdens from you if you will only trust Him. Sometimes parents and even grandparents hurt us so bad that it leaves a hurt inside that no one can heal but Jesus.

God bless you!!!
Virginia (Abuse survivor)

Answer 5

You are asking the wrong type of people for help on here. NO ONE on here can understand what being abused was like as a child (Unless you have experienced it first hand) God speed.

Answer 6

support groups, one on one therapy and the ability to actually do what the therapist asks and start working to fix the problems, you may need medication also. Going to therapy isnt going to fix it in itself. You need to actually be involved and do things with it.

Answer 7

You need to seek therapy and support groups to help you overcome your problems.And take your medication. Go to church as well and you will find a support group of people.