My bf and I want to marry each other badly but hes 18 and im 17 and I want to get engaged to him at 18 but not marry him until im 23 so I could finish off undergrad. Is this a good idea?
2007-11-28 10:13:24 · 27 answers · asked by =) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
sorry, its Engaged*
2007-11-28 10:17:01 · update #1
Honey, my bf and I were in the same boat. At 17 (he was 19) we KNEW we wanted to get married. We waited until I was halfway done with college, then he proposed. Now that I'm done with college, we're planning the wedding.
I wouldn't have it any other way. At 6 months he got me a promise ring, which was our statement to the world, and each other, that we intended to *one day* get married.
Don't rush it sweetie. Enjoy being bf and gf.....the time will come soon enough to be each other's fiances! LOL
Good luck!
2007-11-28 11:42:25 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the point of being engaged your whole college career????
You are 18, and I know you don't want to hear this, but its a bad idea to jump into a something like engagement at your age. People change drastically during college. People who you think you know well can become completley different. I would see how things go, and if you are still together and in love by the end of college, then marry him.
BUT, I am glad that you are not planning on marriage before you are out of college. If a couple marries before college the rates for divorce are astrinomical.
2007-11-28 17:11:21 · answer #2 · answered by kf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide if you are very dedicated to each other or not. It also depends on how long you have been together already... My fiancee and I have been together for 4 1/2 years and I am 22. We were together for a year before getting engaged. We made it through my first year of college and decided that we both are committed enough to get engaged. Now I am graduated college, and I am halfway through my first year of teaching and we are getting married on July 18. We made it but there are at least 2 times though that I can think of that we almost called it off. It all depends on the couple and the seriousness of the relationship. Another thing that might affect your relationship is if you are both going to college, are you going to the same college? And if not, how far away from him is your college? Distance makes a big difference also...
2007-11-28 10:27:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can of course get engaged. But you have to realize that lots of things can change in 5 years. Especially if you are pursuing an education and a career path. So is it realistic and a good idea for you? I don't know. You are the only one who can answer that.
You will need to ask yourself why you want to be engaged and then wait that long to get married. Are you really thinking about marriage, or do you just want the ring and the right to say you are engaged?
Not that I am saying long engagements don't work, but often times the longer you drag it out, the more fights you will have about wedding planning, setting a date, and planning for the future.
2007-11-28 10:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four years of college will change a person dramatically... keep that in mind. You will be a totally different and even more mature individual than you are right now and he will have changed and matured more too. You might feel right for eachother now... but who knows about 4 or 5 years down the road. It would be wise to not get engaged right away, 18 is very young.
However, if you decide to get engaged though... keep your goals in mind. Finish your education before you get married! Best wishes!
2007-11-28 10:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by Kim 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In all honesty, you will both change a lot in college. You will be different people after you graduate college. That's how it works. You just do a lot of growing up during those years. You and he may not even recognize each other at that time. Your relationship is very unlikely to last. It might, but definitely don't be afraid if you're growing apart. It just means that you're not meant to be married and that's okay. If you get to that point and feel like you still want to get married that's not bad either but it's very unlikely that you will still feel the same way. Hold off on getting engaged. Being engaged means that you are planning your married life and are actively seeking marriage in the near future (5 years not being near). When you're engaged you plan your wedding or courthouse date and you make all the plans to start a life together. You certainly aren't ready to do that now.
2007-11-28 10:18:29 · answer #6 · answered by Rockit 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋
I'd wait a bit. A lot happens in your life between 18 and 23. The guy I thought for sure I'd marry at 18, I didn't. We broke up shortly after I started college and I met my husband a year later. If you feel the same way at 20, go for it.
2007-11-28 10:44:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting engaged isn't a terrible idea, and neither is waiting for a few years to get married. But be aware that it will be a real struggle to maintain the relationship over such a stressful time period.
2007-11-28 10:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by simply_me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married at 20 had 3 kids and divorced at 27. Wait don't be in a hurry to grow up, enjoy life, you don't have to be married or engaged to be in love. Take your time.
2007-11-28 11:33:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very smart move, waiting till you are a bit older and finished with your undergrad degree. You should be proud of yourself for making that commitment. It will also give him a chance to finish his degree and you can get started off on a better financial footing. Good luck!
2007-11-28 10:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by m27jean 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋