Atheist marrying in a church?

Question

Ok, eventually my boyfriend and I will marry sooner than later. Here's the kicker. I'm atheist; he's at least agnostic. We don't really care about religion though our families do. His father is Catholic, but raised by his mother's beliefs of Baptist. I was raised Catholic but now I believe what I believe. My mother still is in denial saying I'm at most agnostic . I always wanted to get married outside because I'm outdoorsy. My bf always thought he would marry in a church, but more for his parents' sake than his. He just thinks it is normal. Thinking about it more, I wouldn't mind a ceremony in a church or chapel, but I already have an officiant in mind (family friend back home) who won't inject God into it. I believe churches are beautiful, but all the beautiful ones in Dallas are Catholic and bf and I are a big no-no there. The little wedding chapels around here suck so that only leaves actual churches. Anyone have an ideas what religion would allow us in?

P.S. - We don't want to become members of the church

P.P.S. - Anyone who knows anywhere in Dallas would be a great help.

Answer 1

I'm from Dallas and being in the "Bible Belt", I don't think that you are going to find many churches that will let you get married there, not ones like you are looking for. The only kind that I can think of would be a non-denominational one, they are generally pretty open but most of their churches are smaller and more functional, not anything pretty. I would try telling his parents that you want to get married outside and see how they react. If they insist on having a minister marry you, tell them you are open to that, in the setting you chose and IF they can find one that will come and do it. That way it gets you what you want and puts the responsibility of fulfilling their wish back on them Good luck! (By the way I know tons of great places in Dallas to get married so if you decide to look for an alternate venue, repost or e-mail me and I'll send you some.)

Answer 2

Well, I don't know anything about Dallas. I am in Columbus, but when searching for a location, we found a ton of ceremony sites that look like a church. (even though they aren't currently operating as one)

For example, the historical society here has a frontier town w/a "small town" chapel that is able to be rented for weddings. We also found an old church that no longer has an official congregation, but is rented for events. Just look around ~ it takes *a lot* of research & looking, but Dallas is a big city & I am sure you will find something.

That might be a nice compromise between your beliefs and your families. Good luck =)

We are actually agnostic/atheist as well ~ we initially considered pleasing our families, but didn't feel right going through the motions of a church/religious wedding for someone else ~ it's our day after all. We are getting married outdoors in the gardens of an old mansion. Hopefully our relatives won't be too appalled ;)

Answer 3

You just need to get on the phone & find out who is willing & who is not willing to rent you their church. This is not up to the Pastor but the church board. Some will do it, some don't want the hassle. Some will allow you to bring in your own clergy, some will not. And you must adhere to their rules as well so make sure you understand what they expect before signing anything.

Church weddings are beautiful but there are a hundred other places you can get married as well. There are yacht, (& no, Captains can't marry you by the fact that they're captains) winery, B&B, farm, Art museum, hotel, lodge, park.......
I recently performed a ceremony in a theater refurbished for events. The wedding & reception was help in the same place. It was g-r-e-a-t!
Considering your beliefs, the two of you might find a place that's more to your liking, if you put your heads together.

Answer 4

What you want is a Unitarian Church. Unitarians respect all religions beliefs, even atheists believe it or not.

Another option would be a non denominational church. You definitely would not be able to marry in a Catholic church because doing so is agreeing to stay Catholic and raise your children Catholic.

Good luck, I'm sure you will find sometihng. If not try and find alternate venues to at least look at and think about. Then you can just let your families know that there was not a church available for the date you wanted. (A little white lie like that would not hurt anyone!!)

Good luck!

Answer 5

Hi.

Given your statements...PLEASE do not get married in a church. To be quite honest, you are hypocritical if you do.

I am Catholic and also work at a Lutheran Church as a secretary. We get calls all the time from couples wanting to be married in our church because it's "pretty" and it's "traditional".... but that is NOT the reason to marry in a church or chapel.

Also, most churches do not let others (your family friend) marry in THEIR church. The minister or priest has "first choice" to marry couples in the church that they are the minister of.

Please do not be disrespectful....if you enjoy the outside...then just get married outside! There is nothing wrong with that. But if you are an atheist....a church/chapel is NOT the place for you.

Answer 6

If you really want to get married in a church, your best bet is a Unitarian Universalist church. They're very open and are known for letting people who are not members of their churches occasionally rent their facilities and hire their clergy for special events. Realistically, you cannot expect a Christian church to allow non-Christians to get married in their facilities. Most of them will tell you 'no' unless you take classes and agree to convert.

That said, there are tons of other fantastic places to have weddings. Dallas has beautiful hotels, museums, art galleries, historic mansions, parks....TONS of choices.

My fiance and I are both atheists. My family is Christian; his is Hindu. Neither one of us would be comfortable getting married in a church or temple, so we're having a non-religious wedding in the ballroom of a historic mansion that is now a hotel. It's only a minor issue with our families. (Besides, if we had it in a church the hindus would be uncomfortable and if we had it in a temple, the Christians would be upset.)

I advise you to look into some of the venues I mentioned above. Be true to yourselves - don't let anyone pressure you into thinking you have to get married in a house of worship. It's possible to have a really nice non-religious wedding.

EDIT: Also - judges and justices of the peace will come to your venue. You can have a civil wedding at the location of your choice; you're no longer restricted to a courthouse wedding. Our officiant is a Judge.

Answer 7

I doubt you're going to find a church to get married in that someone's not a member of unless it's a stand alone chapel.

Shoot, I live in Texas too - not that far from Dallas - and it was HARD to find a church to get married in - finally the church my mom is a 'member' at let us book it.

I dont know that it's right to want to be married in a church and not 'inject God into it' - seems wrong.

Anyway - I hope you find what you're looking for. Good luck.

Edit: I do think you should go with what fits you and your fiance and it doesn't seem like a church fits you two. ;-)

Answer 8

as long as you pay for it you will get married everywhere and in a church it fairly is by using a clergyman. You sign a similar bits of paper, all the religious rambling is by using the by using. oftentimes human beings get married in church homes through fact they're captivating, atmospheric homes, no deeper meaning than that.

Answer 9

Vegas
You gonna let his Mom pick out your Langere too?

Answer 10

i am atheist as well. i believe a wedding should represent the couple. so do what fits the two of you not ur parents.