I want a really HILARIOUS joke. Please tell me one. I needa a really FUNNY and appropriate joke!!
2007-11-28 09:25:42 · 16 answers · asked by bellaa3x ♥ <33 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
appropriate for what
2007-11-28 09:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by monkeynuts 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A guy is on a walking holiday and is miles away from the nearest town when he comes across a farmhouse. As it's 10.00 pm and getting dark he knocks on the door which is answered by a quaint old country gent.
"Can I help ya?" Asks the farmer squinting at the stranger.
"I hope so sir." Answers the guy. "I'm on a walking holiday and miles from anywhere and I was wondering if I could possibly stay the night."
"Certainly, young fella." Came the answer, "Don't get many visitors round her. The company will be nice.Come on in."
The guy enters and within a few minutes is sat in front of a warm fire with a large glass of moonshine in his hand. The farmer also has one and a small hickory pipe clamped between his teeth which he puffs on as they sit. They begin talking and after a few glasses the hiker says.
"Thank you for your hospitality sir, but I'm feeling a little tired and would like to go to bed."
"Ah yes,." Says the farmer hesitantly, "Trouble is, we've only got two bedrooms. I'm in one, and my daughter's in the other. Do you mind bunking up with her?"
"Not at all, sir, if that's alright." Answers the guy pleasantly surprised.
"Sure it is. Now you go up. First door at the top of the stairs. I'll shout you tomorrow with your breakfast."
Next morning at six o'clock sharp the farmer shouts upstairs. "Come on young fella. Breakfast's ready."
Down came the hiker, yawning a little and sat down to an enormous plate of eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms, hash browns and beans. As he ate he looked at the farmer and said.
"You know sir, I must congratulate you on your hospitality, but I've a little confession to make. Thing is that when I slipped into bed with your daughter I couldn't help, well you know, cuddling up and getting better acquaited, just so as we could both keep warm, and as you might expect one thing led to another, but, I'll tell you what. She isn't half cold."
"I'm not surprised." Said the farmer laconically, "We bury her this afternoon!"
2007-11-28 17:47:07 · answer #2 · answered by quatt47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this married couple was driving down the road in the rain and saw a skunk. the guy was like, "poor thing, it must be cold" so he pulled over and picked it up and told his wife to put the skunk under her dress between her legs so it would get warm and dry. the wife replied "what about the smell?" and the guy says "just hold its nose". LOL......
2007-11-28 17:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by - JR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a man is sitting on apark bench across from the white house in november 2008
he walks up to the guard and says hello id like to speak to pesident hillary clinton
the gauard says im sorry sir shes not the president and doesnt live here
the next day the old man walks up and says hello id like to speak to pesident hillary clinton
the gauard says im sorry sir shes not the president and doesnt live here
the next day the old man walks up again and says id like to speak to president hilary clinton
the guard says sir wats wrong with you i told you shes not the president and dosent live here and the man says i no i just like hearing you say that.
or you could use
knock knock
whos there
the little kid from down the street who cant reach the doorbell
2007-11-28 17:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by Neal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How appropriate are we talking here?
My dad told me this joke since I was a little girl and it still cracks me up...(you may have heard it)
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "You got any nuts?" The bartender says "No" and the duck leaves.
The next night the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender "You got any nuts?" The bartender says "No" and the duck leaves.
The next night the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender "You got any nuts?" The barteneder says "No, I don't have any nuts. I have already told you" and the duck leaves.
The next night the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender "You got any nuts?" The bartender says "Look Donald, I already told you I don't have any nuts. If you ask me one more time I am going to nail your bill to the bar" and the duck leaves.
The next night the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender "You got any nails?" "No" the bartender replies. "Well then, you got any nuts???"
2007-11-28 17:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by ♥New Mommy♥ 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Two cows in a field,1 says mooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
the other 1 says damn,i was just gonna say that................always gets me a laff
2007-11-28 17:36:45 · answer #6 · answered by bananamOOn 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Two atoms bump into each other.
"Oh no, I think I lost an electron!" says one.
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"Well yes, I'm positive!"
okay so that is really nerdy but I am a nerd and I crack up whenever I hear it.
2007-11-28 17:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by charlie charlie 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
i fell off a 40 foot ladder
but i was only on the second step.
[wait for that part after you see the listeners reaction]
2007-11-28 17:29:01 · answer #8 · answered by Avinue 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
a brunette and a blonde were taking a walk and the brunette says "look, there's a dead bird" and the blonde look up at the sky and says "where''
2007-11-28 17:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by Chelsea 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
why are single wonen skinnier than married women?
single women come home see whats in the fridge .... and go to bed.
Married women come home see whats in bed, and GO TO THE FRIDGE..lol I think it's cute.
2007-11-28 17:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋