3 year old not wanting to go to playschool?

Question

I have a 3 year old girl and all of a sudden she is not wanting to go to school she tells my mom she doesn't like it and she has no friends. I just kind of shook it off but she told me today that she doesn't like school I emailed her teacher telling her I want it addressed ASAP but I feel bad for her but don't want to take her out

Answer 1

I agree with not taking her out. If you take her out it will be even harder to start her again later. She is at the perfect age to start preschool. It is very common for young children to start preschool and love going for awhile and then start to have difficulties with it. This is usually because they realize the change is permanent. It is also very common for 3-year –olds not to “make friends” like you and I would consider a friend. 3-year-olds tend to parallel play (play side-by-side) with little interaction. Most children do not typically make friends until close to or after their 4th birthday. Did she start fairly recently? If so my guess is that she just came to the realization that school not something you do now and then like going to the zoo but something that is permanent.

Are you feeling anxious about this? If you are feeling nervous or anxious (or if your mother is) she could picking up on your anxiety and feeling it herself. If you do your best stop feeling anxious and ask your mom to do the same, she will too. She may have gotten a big reaction from grandma when she expressed her dislike of school and enjoyed that attention. Don’t give her a big response when she says things like this. I’m sure you spent a lot of time researching a good program and know that you will know in your gut if you need to be concerned about anything.

I suggest that you make an unexpected visit. It often helps to ease a parent’s mind when they visit the school without the teachers or director knowing. I would also schedule a visit and make sure you speak with her teachers so that your daughter can see that you are “friends” with her teachers. It will comfort her to know that you like the people who care for her.

You can also try and “go through the back door” by changing up her routine. It is much easier for a child to get used to going to school when they go several days in a row rather than having days in between. If she is not going more than 3 days a week, consider putting her in 4 to 5 days a week for about awhile (no more than a month and no more than 3 hours a day). This way she will not have big gaps between her school days and will be able to adjust more easily.

Consider arranging some play-dates with her peers. She can enjoy children her age in the comfort of her home and possibly feel more like she has some friends when at school. It sometimes helps to start a carpool with children who have difficulties separating and adjusting to a change. If you feel comfortable, you can have another parent pick her up with their child to drop her off. Sometimes, with changing up a routine a bit, makes the transition easier.

Hope this helps! Good luck to you!

Answer 2

Well, even though this is kind of drastic, does she come home with strange cuts, bites, or bruises?
I'm really not trying to make you panic, but if it really is as bad as it seems, she could be a victim of abuse. Not necessarily from adults, but children as well.
Talk to her teacher and see what she says. If her information is useless, I would suggest finding a way to see your daughter at school/daycare, without her or anyone else knowing you're there. That will help you observe exactly what is making her so uncomfortable.

Answer 3

maybe she is teased by other kids or maybe the teacher is mean to her...it happens. maybe she doesnt have any friends and she has a hard time making them. if that really is the problem then talk to the other mothers and try to arrange some play dates at home so she can get to know the other kids so she wont be left out when she goes to school. i think it was a good idea to email the teacher about it.

Answer 4

our daughter was almost 3 when she went through a similar thing. She haded going to daycare. We made her keep going for about 2-3 months, then, when i was at the point of taking her out, I went to pick her up and she was in the kindy room. Apparantly they asked her what would make her happy and she told them that the kindy room would. So they tried her in the kindy room and she has been there ever since. We don't know why she wanted to go into the kindy room (her 2 best friends were still in the juniour kindy room).

All i can suggest is to talk to your daughter about it and find out what will make her happy.

Answer 5

Hey. I'm sorry to hear you're having problems with your child wanting to go to school. Have you ever considered that three years old might be too young for school. Maybe your child isn't ready emotionally / psychologically. Just because she's physically capable doesn't mean she SHOULD go.

I firmly believe in listening to my children. If she's telling you she's uncomfortable - you're doing something RIGHT! You've made her comfortable enough with YOU as a parent for her to reach out to you! Now ... don't mess this up! She's counting on you to listen to her and help her.

Talk to her - talk to her teacher. Maybe arrange some play dates at home to make her more comfortable in social situations. If she has ONE really good friend to play w/at home (vs. school) - maybe she'll be less likely to be upset about her lack of friends at school.

Most importantly though is that she's reaching out to you. Have you ever reached out to someone you trusted just to have them ignore you or give BAD advice? Make sure you're always keeping her best interest in mind and I'm certain it will all work out!

Answer 6

If she doesn't like it, take her out! She's only a babyand plus that's the age when kids don't like to play with others very much. She'll grow out of it. Forcing it on her will only make her feel bad. She wants mommy!

Answer 7

This is funny. You stuff a three-year-old into a school she doesn't like, then insist that the school fix this ASAP. This is a joke, right?

Keep the toddler home.

Answer 8

There's a reason she doesn't want to go anymore . . . find out from your daughter first, THEN from the teacher. But by all means, DO NOT shake it off!!

Answer 9

sounds like a phase but you should try to find out if it's more than that, like maybe she's being bullied or abused in some way.

Answer 10

think about your daughter, if she doesn't go to school then she will never get any where in life. I personally don't like school but it is necessary, also if it really is bad try homeschooling her