I have a fiance and we really lovee each other alot...and he is realy very loving n caring about me and likes me alottt..i know that..and we even are soo open with each other that we have each others passwords for email and all...but still I feel very insecure wenever he is on his yahoo mesenger and chatting wit hs frnds that are girls...i feel very insecure and panicked..i really dunno why..i shudnt feel like this right? like i keep wondering OMG wat r they talking about..or could they be flirting..etc..What shud i do abt this insecurity and feeling? I just dont want him to chat with other girls..ANd i dont even knw what they could be talking..so i feel insecure..What should i DO about this? PLS HELP ME..advise maturely..
2007-11-28 08:55:08 · 11 answers · asked by mani 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All right. Take a deep breath. Breath in. Breath out. Good. Calm. Visualize a happy place... Waves crashing on the seashore... Sun dancing on your face...Breath...Good..
Now has he ever cheated on you? Do you check his e-mail for anything suspicious? REMEMBER TO MARK IT UNREAD AFTER YOU'RE DONE!!! Nothing there? Good. Understand that friends are friends and most of the time people don't go out with their best friends. They are just people to relax with and since you don't have a relationship with them you can be more open and can say things that don't really mean anything and are just for fun. You are very insecure. That isn't good. Your fiance loves YOU. That is why you are getting married. He just communicates better with girls just like one of my best friends that has all friends that are girls. In fact he and I were discussing how any woman he decides to marry must be pretty secure in their relationship because he is going to be iming with the girls a LOT. The same is with your soon to be hubby. You need to talk with him in a NON accusing manner to discuss your insecurity. Why don't you join the im discussions once in a while? For all you know it'll be fun? Good luck and remember to stop-breath-and think. Have a nice day.
2007-11-28 09:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by Alex C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you feel insecure is your lack of trust and self-confidence. The basis of any relationship is to have those things. Have you told your fiance how you feel about him chatting with other girls? It's probably just innocent friendship-type of chatting, but if it really bothers you that much, let him know how you feel. The fact that you're engaged must mean that he's serious about you, and you say that you're open with each other. So just let him know how you feel, without accusing him or acting jealous. It's best to get things like this out in the open, before you make a life-long commitment. If he proves to be anything but 100 percent trustworthy, then maybe you should think twice about marrying him. But if you really love each other a lot, then you have to trust him if he hasn't done anything to violate that trust. Good luck!
2007-11-28 17:08:30 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
advise maturely?.. then act maturely. Listen if you feel insecure has to be for couple of reasons..either he has given you the reason to fee this way by cheating on you..or you yourself have insecurity problems, either not being secure as a woman,or seeing how some1 close to you (maybe parents cheated on each other etc), a lot of these insecurities come for many reasons..specially how society is people dont respect anymore.. but all you need to do is get a grip of yourself!.. if you guys are engaged and in love then live life, love him respect him, and you will have the same from him , as it sounds he already does. Dont live in the shadows or speculate what can be happening or will happen.. after all is like and if is meant to happen for the worst or best it will. So be positive..becuase believe it or not being negative you will attract the bad!!! ....so stop worrying.
2007-11-28 17:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by GIGI 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to be insecure, heck I still am and I have been together with him for 2 years, but it wont be as bad as time goes on. Its normal, but you shouldn't worry about who he is talking to, unless there is a reason to suspect something. He wouldnt give you a password if he was trying to hide something from you, so dont worry. If it really bothers you, maybe he can limit who he talks to online. That doesnt mean him not being able to talk to the girls, just maybe if you are in the room or only for a certain time a day. I know that might sound crazy, but if he really loves or cares for you, he will understand. All I can say is talk to him..and ask him. Tell him how you feel...good luck
2007-11-28 17:03:48 · answer #4 · answered by HlpMePlz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem with my current boyfriend, I have never been insecure in relationships before,but for some reason he makes me insecure, I've noticed the biggest reason is he doesn't pay a lot of attention to me, he's not affectionate, he has never looked at me and complimented me......when I ask him he tells me I'm pretty, but otherwise he says he's just not that kind of person.....so....is this maybe what's going on with you? Has your fiance or another boyfriend in the past ruined your trust? Why would you want to marry someone you can't trust? Maybe you're sabotaging your relationship? I would seek pre marital counseling before marrying him, or if he's the kind of guy you can talk to tell him how you feel.....work it out together...good luck.
2007-11-28 17:04:26 · answer #5 · answered by Excellante 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should take a good hard look at how you react to life in general. every question you've asked so far has been 'urgent.' granted, it's normal to feel anxious and concerned from time to time, but when things get you worried, step back a minute, take a look at the big picture, and calm yourself down. if he's a trustworthy guy and you have a healthy relationship, friendships with girls is not necessarily a bad thing.
2007-11-28 20:12:52 · answer #6 · answered by Julie N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should come in one say while they're talking and just type a message to the girl and you and your fiance could have fun seeing who could type the most outrageous thing....sorry I'm no help.....
2007-11-28 16:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by Jordan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u believe that ur bf is not a flirt .. u have nothing to worry about... just ask him.. who's that and make a conversation about it... ask him sincerely tho'... if he is not flirting, he should tell u about her information.. if he is flirting, he will avoid giving u many information ..
Dun worry too much... :)
2007-11-28 17:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by lilsweetiboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask what do they talk about online but don't make a big deal about it though.its normal to feel insecure but you'll have to trust him.
2007-11-28 17:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think you need to stop overreacting and talk to him about it dont keep it in
2007-11-28 17:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by Chocolate_High 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋