My girl and I have been dating for a year and in the begining everything was so perfect, until a couple of months when she began accusing me of liking girls that I never had interest in (such as her friend and my friend's girlfriend or she would accuse me of looking at other girls). We'd argue but I would keep my cool. there are times when it seems like it was resolved but she would find a way to bring back up again. Everytime we argue I explain to her that I dont like these girls and she's the only girl that I want to be with but she doesnt listen and insists on accusing me. We dont fight all the time, in fact when we're not fightning we're the happiest people on earth but she accused me so much that I just snapped one day and I started hitting her. After a while, we were both sorry for wat we did, but I feel like a monster and I regret it so much I know I was wrong and I promised to never do it again but the guilt still stays. We're strong now but it pains me that it happened.
2007-11-28 08:37:19 · 71 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Therapy. Counseling will help you deal with these impulses in a more acceptable manner, and help you own the responsibility for what you do.
2007-11-28 08:39:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 1⤋
I am afraid to say that the old adage is time is the best healer is the only answer I can give. My then g/f was killed in a car crash when her car was hit by a drunk driver. I was only 17 and we'd just had a big fight about why I wasn't there that weekend. Guilt will play a big part in your emotions and "what if" will be a question you can spend a long time trying to answer and for that, I wish you luck. The fact is a million people will tell you it's not your fault because it isn't. Only as time goes on will you realise that it actually wasn't, that it was HER decision to take her own life and she would have done it even if you were there. As for the moods, I can only suggest that you confide in a good friend. I'm sure they're all sympathetic towards you and won't mind if you call them up for a chat once in a while. And you'll move on. I've since met a wonderful girl who I came to realise isn't better than my old girlfriend and isn't worse. She's just different.
2016-05-26 06:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by eneida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To feel ashamed and sorry is actually a good thing. It does show that you really didn't mean to hit her. That said, I will now really hurt your feelings. Some one has to put it straight to you. What you did was unexcuseable. No matter how angry you get at ANYONE you should not resort to hitting. You mentioned that you "snapped one day and started hitting her." This sounds like it was not a slap across the face but an actual beating. You need help. Yes, I understand that this was the first time, but it may not be the last time...especially since she has forgiven you. You may feel right now that you will never hit her again, and you may truely mean it. But what happens the next time you "snap"? Please...call your local health department and ask them to point you towards some anger management classes. Most counties have free programs. Your girlfriend may have done the wrong thing by forgiving you without you suffering a consequence other then just feeling bad. Please, if you truely are sorry and wish to never hit her again, get help. You may actually never hit her again, but wouldn't it be worth it to go that extra mile just to be sure? I would also suggest couples counseling to assist her in getting over the fact that she thinks you are interested in other women.
2007-11-28 08:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by thenora 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all if this story is really true then you both have a problem. Your girlfriend is insecure. Now Im just a person out here reading what people put on this site........am I to believe everything I read...??? So this is what I'll tell you. If you put your hands on a female, you have an anger problem. Who the hell are you to put your hands on anyone? You have a problem, you will hit a woman. Now what happens when she "gets on your nerves" about something else, not even relating to other women and you loose it then too, gonna hit her again??? What makes you think you won't?
So you have a problem.........I knew someone that beat up the women he was with and he told me this.......an abuser told me this. If a man hits you once, he'll hit you again. And that I truly believe!!! This is something you have to figure out and she has to figure out between the two of you. I don't think the two of you should be together actually, ya even if you say you do get along. WHY do I say that, because if you truly TRULY LOVED each other, this wouldn't have gotten to the level it did.
2007-11-28 08:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by MLJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I'm glad you still have the pain and the guilt..... b/c she has the pain and mistrust, she'll never feel safe with you ever again. You need to hold on to this guilt and pain.... never let it go, hopefully that guilt and pain will stop you from ever hitting any women ever again. I also think that you should seek out some help go to counseling (not to get over the pain) but to keep you from ever doing that ever again. Maybe a counselor could help you find other ways to communicate, or other ways to vent your anger and aggression. And God help you if you ever have children
2007-11-28 08:44:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bubbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you hit your girllfriend is bad but we all snap so don't feel to bad. However, don't make this a routine thing where everytime you have an argument you end up slapping her because you no that its not right. Which is why you are feeling guilty.
Treat your girlfriend now and again nights out are nice but a night in with some home cooking[even if its bad she'll appreciate your efforts] and one of her fav movies with popcorn to let her no just how special she is to you.
2007-11-28 08:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my opinion is that yes that was a wrong thing to do, i know it seems unbarable that she constantly accuses you of liking other girls or simple looking at them and you have been holding your fort and defending yourself by saying, no it wasnt true. i believe you are not a monster because you hit her, you were just fed up, but hitting is definetly not the answer. if she dosent believe you once or twice, she will not believe you, but as long as you know you feel you are loyal to her, then just tell yourself, i know i am not cheating, and everything in the large part will be ok. dont fret over it, what happened happened, just go on with your life and hopefully see things go to normal. if for some circumstance, you see this, this being her accusing you of looking at other girls continuing to be a constant thing, then a vacation is needed.
2007-11-28 08:46:53 · answer #7 · answered by ersan b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have reason to be very concerned about your impulse control and how you handle emotional stress.
Would you be willing to see a counselor so that you can learn better ways of managing your feelings? Promising not to hit is irrelevant unless you back it up with some action. This would show you're really serious and truly remorseful. It would be a reparation. Your girlfriend also seems to need counseling, as she gets out of control. Also, she remained with you after being hit. That is problematic.
2007-11-28 08:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by Marina 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THE REAL ISSUE HERE IS WHY DOESN'T YOUR GIRLFRIEND TRUST YOU? HAVE YOU CHEATED, DO YOU MAKE HER FEEL INSECURE BY YOUR ACTIONS?
My boyfriend and I had the exact same scenario, I am not an insecure person, I never have been, but my boyfriend has a tendency to ignore me, not show me a lot of attention, and is constantly checking out other women. This makes me insecure around him, which in turn leads to me nagging him about it...well one day he hit me, split my eye open gave me a black eye....he has been forced by the court to go to anger management classes, and still continues to blame me for what happened....so you're ahead of the game feeling the guilt...and wanting to make things right...seriously address the jealously issue, because even though I took my boyfriend back, I have lost a lot of respect for him, and he still doesn't see how the way he treats me has caused me to push him away emotionally....and I am now making plans to leave him.
So please, get some help. Talk to your girl about how you feel, ask her why she doesn't trust you. Fix the problem together...and good for you for being man enough to own up to your mistake! key word MISTAKE, don't beat yourself up over it...just fix the problem and don't ever do it again.
Good luck!
2007-11-28 08:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by Excellante 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she has unfaithful relationships in the past? She must have some reason to be so insecure and jealous. This is no reason for you to loose you temper in such a way. Maybe she should consider counselling for her jealousy. As for you the guilt from hitting her once may deter you from doing it again, which I sincerely hope so.
2007-11-28 08:43:46 · answer #10 · answered by Nookie bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be very careful - apart from the fact you could land in gaol for this! you need to Do something about this now as behaviour like this often deteriorates and becomes a habit - domestic violence is still one of the great hidden abuses in society. it is serious and you need to sek help through anger management or counselling before more serious consequences occur.
your girlfriend needs to understand that what you say about these other females is true and she needs to stop badgering you.
lastly - the hitting was your fault, no one else's - regardless of provocation.
you sound very concerned so the future should be bright if you address the problem now.
2007-11-28 08:42:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋