Me and my husband have been married for 7 yrs. I would like to renew our vows on the date we had orginally planned on getting married but didn't get to. I want to have a bigger wedding. We didn't get to do all that at first. Is this normal do people do it anymore or do you think it is something I shouldn't mess with?
2007-11-28 07:33:40 · 13 answers · asked by bbygrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
thanks for the advice. No intentions of cheating anyone out of gifts or anything like that. Just was young and didn't get to do things the way I had hoped the first time. No one even has to get gifts of anything just want something a lil more than what we did the first time. Nothing "real big". Thanks again.
2007-11-28 07:50:23 · update #1
monican-yes still interested not about that to me. Sorry.
2007-11-28 07:56:16 · update #2
Yeah, people still do it all the time for many different reasons. Mostly because they get married and don't have the money right away to do things how they want. They even do the whole white dress thing and everythign else. Some people think it's strange but most don't and it's what you want and if you're going to spend all the money for thw whole thing after all this time it better be the 'dream day' you are tryign ot get anyway. Do it how you want to no matter what others think is tacky or whatever else.
The whole thing about 'trying to get gifts and money from people' is not true either. You are spending FAR more money and time into the whole reception. The gifts don't add up to that. If those were the reasons you were doing it then you would just spend all that money you're spending on the whole thing and buy what you want anyway, right? Some people just don't get it and they'll say or think dumb things.
2007-11-28 09:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by what were you expecting? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You sound like my husband and I. We have decided that for our 10th next year we are throwing a huge party in the way that we would have liked to have done when we married and were considering the vow renewal as well, I actually asked opinions on vow renewals the other day. In our case, the vow renewal didnt seem necessary to us, our vows are still new and just because we didnt have the wedding we would have chosen today, it doesnt negate the vows we said with the wedding we had back then. We dont need to reaffirm anything because we are happily married and have been so for our entire marriage. So we are sticking with the party only.
I think if you want to wait for your 10th anniversary, which would really be your first opportunity to do it and people wouldnt think strangely about it (10 yrs is a milestone, 7 isnt) go ahead and plan something along the lines of what you would have rather done. However, I think it is kind of pointless to buy the big white gown, have all the bridesmaids, and have your father give you away. Get a pretty evening gown, ask your truest friend and walk down by yourself. There are certain things with a vow renewal that shouldnt be done because the main point is that its a vow renewal and not your wedding. I also think that renewing on a different date if it isnt close to your actual wedding date is not that great of an idea. Say you were married in January, but you plan it for June, people know your wedding date they will wonder why the large gap.
Its unfortunate with some things, but they way you did it back then was they way you chose to do it and you cant go back in time and change things now. Just try to better the memories in your head by planning a better party to celebrate your anniversary this time around. But I would really suggest you leave the pomp and circumstance of an actual wedding out of it, at 10 years married, it just wouldnt seem fitting.
2007-11-28 16:52:12 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not in the way you are thinking!
A vow renewal is NOT 'another wedding'. You are already married, and the wedding you had was what it was, regardless of the circumstances. Hopefully your marriage is going well.
Renewing your vows is simply having a ceremony or blessing at a church or another location, with a dinner at your home after for family and close friends. It's basically an anniversary celebration. Not another wedding.
2007-11-29 10:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I renewed our vows on our tenth anniversary. The first time around we got married at my Dads house. The second time we did it in a church. We have been married 31 years now. I think that if this is what you want to do great go for it. You will remember it forever. Just like the first time.
2007-11-28 15:45:53 · answer #4 · answered by GrandmaK 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I've heard alot about vow renewals and people wanting the "big wedding" that they didn't do the first time.
Personally, I find it wonderful to do a vow renewal and if it is in a church setting to notify your family/friends.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about having the "big wedding" stuff. It makes me wonder if the couple is trying to milk their friends/family for gifts or maybe they just want to show off that they can afford a huge party. I'm just suspicious about it and personally, I don't know if I would attend such a thing if my relative/friend were doing it.
I am in no way knocking your intentions, but commenting on what it brings to my mind.
2007-11-28 15:41:49 · answer #5 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
that's exactly what i'm doing in september have whatever you like.
Me and my husband are paying for it and i don't expect any gifts because we been already married for 4 years now. but i am having my wedding and having a big one at that. nobody is paying for it except us and we could afford it now.
i have talk to my family about it and they are all very excited for me and can't wait for the day. everybody that i know have done this for one reason or another.
2007-11-28 15:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by ynra BTB 4-18-09 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should go ahead and do it, it sounds like a great idea, a lot of people still do have second weddings and why not? if you didnt like the first one or wasnt happy with it well do it again, it be a great day out for everyone involved, best of luck.
2007-11-28 15:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I wasn't aware that it was an antiquated tradition. Nowadays renewing vows seems to be very popular, even on the first anniversary. Do whatever makes you happy.
2007-11-28 15:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well for a start you are already married. You only get one wedding. If it wasnt what you wanted that is sad but too bad, you cant recapture your wedding day.
However.......have a renewal of vows by all means. Invite everyone over and feed them and dance and have a great time. Just remember it looks tacky if you go with the big white gown and certain other traditions that should be reserved for the actual wedding day.
2007-11-28 15:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 3⤊ 6⤋
Do it My husband and I are going to once we move to reno I never got the first dance or father/daughter dance or anything. Just do it It sounds like a lot of fun
2007-11-28 15:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by SHer 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋