I have not been able to find a Church to feel comfortable in, so I don't go, am I a sinner?

Question

My mother raised me to love God. She instilled Christian morals; but we rarely went to church. I feel that I am close to God, I speak to him, I try not to sin. The problem is, my husband and I have attended several different churches and can not find one that we feel connected to. I feel that a church should be a place where you feel that you will not be judged by others, where it should not matter whether you are wealthy or poor, and most importantly not to use it as a tool to redeem yourself because of guilt over a habit you won't change about yourself. I had a friend who would go out Sat. nights and get drunk and dance on the tables (which I am not against having fun) then the next day go to church hung over and then one day talk about someone else who is not a good Christian because they don't go to church. I just find it hard to sit in prayer with a bunch of hypocrits. I apologize to those who sit quietly and do right and attend weekly, but does anyone else feel this?

Answer 1

It is hard to sit in a service with those you know who confess one thing when they are in church and live somethng completely different when they're not in church. We are not accountable for what they do, only for what we do, praise God! You and your husband pray together, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you to the place where God wants you to be, where He can use the gifts He's given you in the body of Christ. The Lord knows your hearts and He knows how discouraged you've become, so lay this in His hands and He will guide you. I will be praying for you too! God bless you!!!

Lovingly,
Virginia

Answer 2

Hi, I am a minister and I know there are hypocrites sitting in the church. Jesus knew about this in His day and that is why He blasted the Pharisees in Matthew 23.
All I can suggest is that you keep looking for a church. If you go to the Southern Baptist, Berean and many evangelical churches you might not find the grace there that you are looking for. Still, you want to go where the truth is told and Jesus is Savior.
There will never be a perfect church cuz humans are sinners and they are not perfect, myself included. And in any church, if the minister is giving a meesage and you feel like he or she is talking and judging you, perhaps it is God trying to get you to change in an area. God is constantly calling me to change and to grow in faith, thru the Scriptures and even thru the sermons I deliver. If the people are thumbing their noses down at you, speak up and ask them what it is they have a problem with and hold them accountable.
I , too believe it should not matter where you have been, whehter you are rich or poor, black , red, yellow, purple or whatever, homeless or struggling, the church should be the place that welcomes you in. For the most part, the church I serve is that way. We have recovering addicts, ex-strippers, and so on...but we still have a few people that think they are better than everyone else. I speak up and they want my head on a platter, but, so be it ! Keep searching. No church is perfect. I am not and you are not....we are sinners saved by grace! I pray things work out for you. Peace!

Answer 3

Well, why not just invite a few friends that feel the same way you do, get a date and time and get together. Try to be commited in this though and not just do it haphazardly. Then all of you can pray about the things you all have a need of and have a brunch or lunch or dinner. You can take turns reading passages from the Bible and then discussing them and how it would relate to you and your lives. If there is someone struggling and you all love that person, you can comfort them in their struggle not not bash them like a church might. When that comes around though, there still may be room for some tough love, cause you sure do not want to see that friend get hurt or hurt another. You and your hubby will make a great example when it comes to your children seeing that you both really love The Lord and the even though the world out there is so divided, at least you and your family will stay unified and worship the Lord, even if you have to do it in the comfort of your own home, or another families home. That would amke a strong community, too, if you could get neighbors to join.

God Bless!

Answer 4

Ok, first of all, No, you are definetely not a sinner for not attending church. But, on the other hand, maybe you should examine WHY you attend church. I attend church to WORSHIP THE LORD, not to worry about what everyone else is doing. If there are those in a particular church who sin all week and then go to church, that is between them and God. Believe me, you are going to find that in almost every church, so if you are looking for the "perfect" church, you probably won't find it. I love the church I attend. My pastor preaches the whole word of God, and the praise is wonderful. God is about a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP, and when you pray to Him, whether you are sitting with others or not, He hears you specifically, and knows YOUR heart. That's the wonderful thing about Him. Read Jesus' letters to the 7 churches in Revelation. Jesus tells them the things they are doing wrong, and condemns them for it, but He also tells them the things they are doing right, and commends them for it. But, if you will notice, He also says "TO HE WHO HAS AN EAR" Jesus speaks to each of us individually, regardless of what church or denomination we are in.
So, you may want to ask yourself, "Am I sincere about going to church to worship the Lord, and that is why I want to attend church, or am I just looking for excuses not to attend?" Let God handle separating the wheat from the tares. Don't miss out on the blessing of the message, just because of a few people you don't like. Nothing keeps me from Jesus, especially those who are not true Christians. If this is the case, then you are allowing someone else to come between you and God. Do you see what I mean? I understand what you are saying, and yes, it is annoying that others are doing what they do. I give that over to God, though, and don't let it keep me from worshiping the One who deserves your worship! God Bless, and I pray you find a church you like soon!

Answer 5

You are definitely NOT a sinner. I feel the same way you do. There are people who try to make you feel bad for not attending church. You can pray and believe in God anywhere you are. Where ever you feel most connected to God is where your (Church) should be. Whether it be outside in the woods, at home in your bedroom ect. If not attending church is a sin what about all the people who can't attend because of illness or not close to a church or if their church has been destroyed. Are they all sinners NO. Don't feel bad about it. Just know in your heart that how you feel is okay.

Answer 6

i know how you feel because i grew up the same way. I do not attend church either but i do not think that i am a sinner because i still have a close connection with God. I have not been to any church that did not have hypocrites in it but sometimes you have to realize that you are not going to church for them you are going to praise and learn about God and those other members should not take that from you.

Answer 7

I would ask what you "think" a Christian is? And how one becomes a Christian... from your words posted here I would have to state that you are not of The True Christian Faith... this is not a put down... just the conclusion from your own words... from your description of "having fun" you friend clearly is not of The True Christian Faith either...

God does not require one to "go to church" every day or week... God is not concerned with man invented "denominations".... just going to a certain building every week means nothing to God... but... those of The faith are instructed not to forsake gathering togeather... this can be in a home or in a park... so long as it is done in the Name of Christ and for the worship of God The Creator...
Finding a church home can take time... and more than one "visit"... and not just to "the service" but also to participate in other activities of the congregation...

you are correct that it should not matteer what ones "social" status or income is... All of The Faith are one to God.... I invite you to my website... ( http://www.mikesfaith.com ) nothing fancy...just me and my position on the God stuff... I am of The True Christian Faith... I fellowship with a small conservative Baptist congregation... But I am of The Church of which Jesus The Christ is The Head... only those of The Church will enter Heaven... the "denomination" does not determin ones Salvation... only God may do that... All who have received God's free gift of Salvation are of The Church

Answer 8

First of all being instilled with Christian morals by your mom, does not make you a Christian- God has no grandchildren, only children- have you ever at any time given your heart to Christ- this does not mean promising to go to church and sin as little as possible- church and being pretty good does not save you. Christ came to earth to die on the cross to pay the price that we could never pay, for our sins so that we could be saved, and have a personal relationship with Christ. There are some really wonderful churches out there that live out the love of Jesus- I attend one, and for the majority of the members, they do with the help of the Holy Spirit love each other, and accept each other where we are - however a good church also - spurs us on to growth. Trying not to sin, will not work my friend- even Paul said that what he wants to do , he does not do, and what he does not want to do he does- so it is only through Christ that we can live without sin at all- He saved us from the punishment of sin, and the power of it- Give your life to Christ, and I will guarantee, you will want to attend church.

Answer 9

yes. I searched for a home church for a long while and tried visiting many different ones. I prayed that God would send me to the church that He wanted me to go to. If you do not feel at home at the church you attend, it does not make you any less of a Christian. God will provide you with a good place to worship. You will see. God bless

Answer 10

much You opinions sound just like me and my wife. I searched for years before I found a church that didn't teach "You are all born in sin" or "our way is the only way". Those denominations are out there, but you don't hear much about them since they don't believe in conversion or evangelism (your beliefs are just fine the way they are). It would blow your mind how fun a church community can be if it is surrounded by like minded non-judgemental individuals. I went nearly 20 years without going to a church, and now I'm there two or three times a week because I love spending time with the people. Feel free to e-mail me if you would like to know how to find these organizations in your area. My church has no doctrines of faith, no one it condemns, and a simple statement of "We honor you wherever you are on your own spiritual journey."