in working w/preschoolers, how should I handle a child who refuses to wear a coat outside?

Question

I have a preschool student who gives some trouble putting on her coat at playtime. What is an appropriate way of handling that?

Answer 1

I see two basic choices -- first, confer with the parent on allowing the child to go outside without a coat and get cold. Do NOT allow the child to go in early, or to go get the coat. Experiencing the natural consequences of one's choices is a strong learning experience. Other alternative is that the child not get to go outside at all if coat is not on when all others are ready to go out. This would mean someone would have to stay inside with child to supervise, but if going outside is something enjoyable, it shouldn't take too many times to change the child's mind. Good luck!

Answer 2

The way I teach preschoolers to put on coats or jackets is have them lay them on the floor flat with the hood or collar at their toes. Have them put their arms in the sleeves and flip the coat over their head. The jacket/coat is on and they feel that they have accomplished a "big" thing. Trust me this works. I also have a preschooler that is having the same trouble. She did this on Tuesday and all the way outside she was telling everybody, "I put on my coat by myself." It gives them self-esteem.
You may want to show the whole class once how to do it as an example.

Answer 3

Well, I would have to first ask how old they are. This would make a big difference to how you could handle the situation. If they are 2 or younger, I would not give them a choice like many others have answered. If they are 3 or older, try reasoning with them (ie Look outside the window...does it look cold or hot out? or Mom asks that you wear it so you need to do so until picked up and talk to her about it. or Its important to wear our coats so we dont get sick...Im wearing one and so are all your friends.)
If that doesnt work maybe try giving them some options making it seem like they have choices (such as...One, you can stay inside. Two, wear it to start for 30 minutes and if you get hot you can take it off. Or three, I can help you put it on your body. Your choice.)
Depending on the child and age you may want to make it into a game or joke around with them. This can rid of some of the pressure or diffuse a power struggle. You could say...well if you arent going to put it on I'll have to put it on you backwards, haha. Or, I'm cold, maybe I'll wear your coat instead (and then try to fit it on).
Finally, if it is really not that cold outside, drop the battle. They will put it on if they get cold, but tell them they have to atleast bring it outside incase. Make sure you are having all the other children wear their coats if youre going to make this child do so... children at this age are very sensitive to fairness and equity issues. Good luck!

Answer 4

I would ask the parent to bring in a second coat. Offer the child a choice at outdoor time. Which coat are you going to wear? Not want to wear. This gives her control of the situation by making her own choice. Preschoolers are all about finding out what they can and can not control in their lives. Perhaps take it further by having two pair of shoes to choose from and two hats. She will find this more of a game and it will satisfy the health and safety needs of the child, will lower your frustrations and put you on top showing your knowledge of Child Development and your sincere caring for the child.

Answer 5

If she is fully physically capable of putting on the coat, then let her make a choice. If she wants to go outside without one, then let her. She's not going to get sick from being cold...that's caused by viruses and bacteria. Ask her if she wants to carry it out, just in case.

If she asks to go back in and get it, why not let her? It seems foolish to punish her when this could be a wonderful learning experience. By not letting her go back inside, the focus is on the adult, rather than how to solve the situation.

All in all, it is her body. She might not feel the cold like you do, and it seems unjust to force her to dress as you would. My daughter only wears a coat when it is snowing, the rest of the time she honestly is fine. I remember being the same way when I was young, metabolism is different, and they are running around playing and staying warm.

Answer 6

I have to chuckle only because I have an afternoon kindergartner who when I take her to school, the rest of the kids are at recess and I see some of them in shorts and t-shirts with no coats. I live in Oregon, and it's pretty cold right now too.

I would have to say if they are cold they will want it. Ask the parent how they would handle it, or if they care if you don't enforce it. OR, (if you are able) tell them they can sit in side till they are ready to play with their coat on. And maybe find a helper to sit with them in side. On another note, perhaps they don't want to be outside at all.

In the mean time, being cold won't kill you and perhaps it's just a power struggle and they like the attention. Don't give it to them. I try to get my kid to wear a coat when they don't want to, so I say "ok fine, then can you please put it in your bag in case you want it later?" and that usually works.

I hope this helps.

Mother of a 12, 6, and 4 year old :)

Answer 7

if you have it as a rule in your preschool, you have to tell the parents their child refuses to wear a coat outside in the cold. maybe they have some tips on how to get her to put it on?
or just tell her no coat and she cant go outside. when she see's everyone outside having fun without her she will have to put it on.
we used to get detention and have to sit inside the school hall throughout lunch if we didnt have a hat.
dont let the kid think she can have a different set of rules from everyone else.

Answer 8

Give the child a choice: either she can stay in the Principal's office or she can put her coat on and go outside. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down. Time out might help, but I'd leave the child in the care of a teacher who is staying in on the condition that the child sit at a table or desk with her head down until you come back in from playground time.

Be sure to talk to whomever picks her up and make sure she is present for the conversation with her mom or whomever.

Answer 9

Don't get into power struggles with children---or pay a lot of attention to inappropriate behavior. If you do, you're giving the child exactly what they want ---which is "power or attention" for inappropriate behavior.

Children need choices. One of our goals working with youth is to promote growth in their thinking and in learning to make wise decisions.
Stating with "a coat" is a beginning.

You don't say if the child would "prefer" to stay in - or go out? But if the rule is --we all go out--then she needs to go out.

I'd start out with "Susie, it's cold out. Should I help you with your zipper, or can you do it?" If she says that she doesn't want to wear it---and it's NOT that cold---say, "OK..but let's take it out. I know that you're SMART enough to know when you get cold...if you get cold... you'll put it on."

If it's VERY cold--and she refuses to put it on---(after you've tried the re-directing of "do you want to put it on--or should I help) just be very CALM..and say, "I hear that you don't want to wear it...it's too bad it's so cold! On the next warm day, you WON"T have to wear your coat. " - and then start helping her--with no big deal. If she again says, "I don't want to wear it!" Again repeat, "Yes, you don't want to wear it...here I'll help you."

I've been working with youth for more than 20 years...and this has always worked. If it doesn't, the parent needs to be involved.

Before you talk to the parent, try to work it out with the child. Tell them that they're smart and they know when it's cold---After the above--try--"Let's put on the coat--you'll be warm and we won't have to talk to mom about it"...

If you DO have to talk to the parent...have the child there. Have the child TELL the parent they don't want to wear their coat--and see how it is handled between the two of them. (it may just be that she doesn't like her coat-or mom doesn't make her wear it...or it itches?)

There were comments made about punishing. Punishing and discipline are two different things. Punishment hurts/embarrasses/blames/shames.
Discipline teaches. It's all about..."How can I help this child to do the right thing? How can I help this child learn? " It's not about making them feel bad.

Also, in your RULES, should be a version of - "We listen to our teacher and follow the rules." You can also refer to that...Children need to learn there are rules--and we follow them.

A coat is a small thing....
and yes, as mentioned above...
a natural consequence is...when it's cold outside...you get cold. If you don't wear a coat...you get colder. That's a natural consequence.
A logical consequence would be...you don't put your coat on--I'll help you put it on or check it out - with your mom.
An un-related consequence would be being punished in some way.

Answer 10

Is she healthy? Does she get a lot of colds? If not, she may just have the kind of metabolism where she runs hot. Talk it over with her parents and consider letting her carry her coat out in case she gets cold. Some kids just don't!