What should I do about being in love with someone who is cheating on his girlfriend with me?

Question

He is dating another woman, living with her, actually. And it's obvious he was in love with her (he may still be). But I can't stop thinking about him and we are really good for each other. I could see myself being with him forever. But I know that because he's doing this with me (cheating), he's probably more likely to cheat in the future. He's told me he loves me before, and I always tell him not to tell me that, but I can't stop wanting to be with him. They're not married. They're having problems. (This is just me rationalizing.)

But how do you argue with love?
Unfortunately it sounds like a cliched affair (he'll leave her for me!), but it's different. I'm not expecting him to leave her for me. I'm expecting him to leave her because they aren't supposed to be together and they maybe we could be together. But I don't want him to lose interest in me so I can't stop the sex...


Help?

Answer 1

Leave him or you will be in a bad relationship, the choice is yours.

Answer 2

I'm in the same exact situation right now. Me and this guy are so perfect together he completes me and I treat him way better than his gf but he says he still loves her but may be falling for me. He doesn't live with her, but I understand how you feel. Their relationship has been on the rocks for a longg time even before I met him. I'm falling in love with him and I don't know how to stop because I'm afraid he'll stay with her, but I don't want to leave because I care so much for him and he spends almost all his time with me now anyway. If you feel you two are supposed to be together and were destined to be together then stay by his side and ride it out. If he's living with her you can't give him the ultimatum because he's umm...living with her...My argument is that yes it may be hurting someone but you can't hold back love. You can't tell love no not now not this person. You can't tell it to wait and you can't turn back if you've made a mistake. Does he tell you he wants to be with you? If he does things like a boyfriend would or shows he really cares and tells you he sees a future with you and does more than just have sex then I think you should wait...but if not don't waste your time. Ask him what he wants to do and then take it from there. I hope you find true love and don't let anyone tell you you're wrong, you are a home-wrecker or whatever. We only have one life to live and if happiness may be there then we can't choose loneliness just because society says it's taboo...don't just give him sex show him why he should be with you be yourself and he'll see why you two are meant to be.Good Luck I hope everything works out.

Answer 3

Think about this situation; you aren't the only one who's getting hurt. Even though he and his girlfriend are going through trouble right now, how do you think she'd feel if her boyfriend, on top of everything, was cheating on her? And then what will happen if he does decide to leave his girlfriend for you? I don't think that he's going to stop cheating if he got away with it once. You have to really decide; if he really loves you like he says, don't you think he'd only be with you? The sex is probably the main thing on his mind right now, and by telling you he loves you, that's making you feel guilty and it hooks you even more. Just look at the problem from the outside.

P.S. If you really want another reason this is a bad idea... think of the reputation you'd get for continuing this. Do you really want to be known as the 'homewrecker'? Just a thought for you.

Answer 4

Ok hunny first off he doesn't love you ok your a free piece of p-u-s-s-y. Him and his girl at home aren't having problems he just says that so u will think he is gonna leave her but he never will. Does it matter if they aren't married they are still together and you are being a homewrecker. How would you feel if you were in her shoes. How do you know they aren't supposed to be together are you God? If he really did love you he wouldn't care if you stopped the sex. You are being a idiot, to be honest and you are being used. Girls like you give us a bad name and make men think they can do this. Wisen up and stop seeing him. Hes a cheater........and all ur doing is making urself into a tramp and if that girl ever finds out I pray she isn't the phsycho type who would beat ur A-S-S.

Answer 5

You are really not being good to yourself. This is a You Lose situation. The guy is having his cake and eating it too and obviously you have fallen hard for his charms. You should stop seeing him. If after he breaks up with the girl and starts to call you, then reconsider, but until then, let them work it out without you sexing on the side making it more confusing. There are other guys around, you cant see them b/c you're blinded by this two timer. Wake up and open your eyes before your heart gets totaly trashed and trampled. Take care, you are worth more than he is giving.

Answer 6

You know what? How is this man supposed to value what you have going on with him, if you can't even value yourself? You're letting him believe that it's ok to play with your emotions. And men ALWAYS say that they are having problems with their spouse/girlfriend when they think they can get an easy lay. You need to face reality. Move on to someone who's single and worth your love. Value yourself as a woman. I hope you make the right decision and leave this 'man' alone. Good luck with your life.

Answer 7

or is he feeding you lines just to keep you hanging on. I mean you are a free piece aren't you? Don't make yourself the other woman, get out of the relationship, if he really cared about you he would leave this other woman. But I would still be worried if he cheated with you on her , has he cheated on other women before this, & will he cheat on you once your together.
For me personally I wouldn't but my heart out there to be used & abused like that. And you will always have doubts in the back of your mind, is he cheating on me, & with who..... Is it worth it, really is it?

Answer 8

What's the difference???
1. they are not having probs he is just telling you that
2. he does love her that why they are still together
3. he only likes you because you are a convenient lay and you don't require anything from him
4. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that he loves you so much that he would rather live with a women who he "is having problems with", pay half her rent, eat her food, cuddle up next to her every evening and wake up with her every morning-Because what you are trying to tell us
5. Better yet just tell him that if he loves you he has to leave her and see how well you too get along

Answer 9

Why would you want to be with someone that is not available at all? This is something that you really need to think about. What goes around, comes around and he will do the exact same thing to you if you guys ever decide to become boyfriend/girlfriend. Shame on you for ruining his relationship with his girlfriend. This needs to stop now or you, this idiot, and his girlfriend will get hurt. You don't want your feelings to get hurt right? So... stop it now Miss Thang!!

Answer 10

I would sit back and look at this picture from another perspective. Perhaps swap shoes with the women who he is cheating with you with. Would you like to be on the other end? Hook up with this guy and you will probably end up that way. Whats her phone number?

Answer 11

you should never have started the sex to begin with! or anything other than a platonic relationship with him. i think its degrading towards you and disrespectful towards them.

of course you cant stop the sex, thats what brought him to you in the first place!

ps. he isnt going to leave her-YOU are the other woman.