Please someone help!!??

Question

Ok so here's the story and question....

I was with my girlfriend almost 5 years....we loved each other very much....we did have some fights and arguments.
I wasn't perfect, I did say mean things sometimes or do things but I have OCD and Borderline Personality Disorder.
Not all of it, but most of it was caused by my problems, I have been getting help and working on myself for the last
year and a half and been getting better. I regularly go to my therapist and psychiatrist and take my meds as prescribed.
I have gotten better. She left me 3 months ago because she said she didn't like the way I treated her. She is the type
that wants a "fairytale" relationship. Everyone has told her including her parents that she won't get that with anyone.
She also expects no fights or arguments. Well anyways she told me for the first two months after she left...that she
still wanted to be with me, she loves me, misses me, wants to know I'm serious about us, etc. Then two weeks after
that go by and she doesn't say much to me....well I texted her a lot but it was because when I tried to give her space
before by not texting as much, she would text me and say why are you ignoring me or I don't think you're serious about
this...and then when I did she didn't want me to text or wouldn't text me back most of the time.

So after those two weeks,
all of a sudden one night when I was texting, she sends me pictures of her and this girl kissing and laying next to each
other in bed. I was baffled and shocked....she said that is her new girlfriend and that she is happy. Well we went through
her getting the rest of her stuff. Then when I texted her after that she was saying all this nasty stuff to me (laughing at me,
saying mean and hurtful things, letting her friends and gf laugh at me, etc.) She met this girl through the internet on her
cell phone through this text messaging service, texted her (not knowing her at all before) for two months and then met
her in person finally for the first time 3 wks-1 month ago. So within 3 weeks of her still saying the stuff she did with me,
about loving me, wanting to know I'm for real, worried if I wanted it over.....she then said after those 3 weeks that she has
moved on, that she is happy, and she loves this girl.

After almost 5 years....she tells me this sh** and then moves on
in 3 weeks??? Do you think this is for real??? What do you think??? Please interpret it for me. So then I was texting her
to get clear answers and how sick is it that her new girlfriend is so timid that she let me ex control her and have her text
me to answer for her, which weren't answers to what I asked. So then my ex also sent pictures of this ring that her gf
supposedly got her (which come to find out, my ex paid for herself, lol) and tells me they are getting married soon. So
she got mad finally because I kept texting her (which I know is wrong but I wanted answers) and finally got so pis*** that
she didn't even want to be my friend. Which I don't understand why she would have wanted to when the break up wasn't
mutual and she knows I still wanted to be with her and loved her

My ex does have Bipolar and she is exhibiting signs
of a "manic" episode. She has been drinking a lot, hanging out with the wrong kind of people, not paying bills and spending money like wildfire (which is something she complained about me is paying the bills late), doing things on a whim
out of the ordinary (she bought plane tickets to go to NM just because she talked to someone and they reminded her
how much she liked it there) and then she said she has to postpone it now and that she also said she wanted to move
there in a letter she wrote me a week before she met her new gf, which the letter also said, I am having an affair with
NM, so to answer your question I am seeing NM, then a week later that??? Sorry this is long but I wanted to explain
the whole situation and ask that you please give me some kind of insight or help. Could this be her Bipolar, has she
flipped or is she just selfish??? Thank you for your answers/help. (Yes, we are both girls)

Oh yeah and I was also nice enough to do whatever my ex asked even after she left, including sending a medicine I take, which is a same one she was taking for her Bipolar and sending it to her and me going without. And that is how I get repayed. She has now stopped taking her meds, and has not gotten any help for herself.

Why I am asking and trying to understand is cuz it's killing me inside and I am confused. I still love her with all my heart and don't know what to think or do

From what I found out she is still blowing money like crazy and drinking all the time. And I just got a job and I love her so much that I am going to pay off all her bills for her but she doesn't know that. She is currently not taking her meds. Now I just found out that she is moving in with a girl that she was hanging out with last time she did this to me....she said last time when she came back that she couldn't stand this girl and wanted nothing to do with her. Even told her off at work and told people about her and now she's moving in with her!!!!

I just texted her and told her I was gonna pay off her bills and that I care about her and hope she will go get help and get on some meds. She is with the wrong people and acting complete opposite. Her friends are influencing her, and she is letting her friends do a lot of the talking for her.

When I kept texting her the other day....she made sure to rub it in my face and keep saying she is happy and that we will not be together because she is with this new girl and she treats her the way she wants to be treated and that's why. And one more thing that doesn't make sense to me.....she says to me,,,,,stop texting me or I will change my number and you will never talk to me again but before that she says she wants nothing to do with me and before that she says you blew it,,,,,at a chance at being friends....Ahhh she is so confusing...its like split personalities.

Could this be Narcissistic personality disorder?? I think she exhibits a lot, it not all, of the signs of it. Other than what I have said here. She values her friends more than anything even though she doesn't consciously realize it. Now she has resorted to listening and letting her friends influence her to call the cops for harrassment for texting her. The girl she was around and kissed the first time she left me started drama tonight on my myspace page. Then they proceeded to call the cops. I called her parents and everything she said her parents said about me wasn't true...like they think I am crazy, etc. And they never said that.

Answer 1

Let it go man..........she has problems of her own. Who needs the drama? Thinking you will be better off without this one. Continue your treatments, counseling and medications. Just take care of yourself and move on. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Honey it is time to move on. Do not pay her bills off that makes you a enabler let her suffer the consequences of her actions this is the only way she will learn.

She is having fun at your expense and you deserve better. I know it is painful we all have been through a horrible break up and survived it. stop texting her or talking to her period.

Have you heard the old saying if you let your love go and it returns to you it is yours if does not return it was never yours to begin with do you really want somebody in your life that does not feel the same way about you? You never know that somebody perfect could be just around the cornor for you just waiting for you to shut the door on a relationship that is already over.

You deserve better treatment and you know it get on with your life and quit letting others drag you down with their drama.

The only person in this life time you can control is you.

Answer 3

OMg that is some messed up ****. Sounds like she i wanting her cake and eat it too. No pun intended. But seems like she is just going through something right now. And not relay sure of what she wants. But I wouldnt pay any of her bills! That is her responsibility not yours. What she did to you was wrong. You were trying to get yourself right to make the relationship work. You are better off without her! Let her go live her crazy life. But I do believe that she will be back once the "new" wears off with the new gf. When she stops having "fun" with this girl. You know what would really get her is seeing you out with another girl. You know that will kill her inside. She may not show it, but you know it will!!!
Im sorry that you are having to go through all this. Sounds like you are really trying, but stop trying! I learned that with my ex too. Once I stopped trying he started trying and wanted to work things out. It was too late...I was done! So try that and see what happens..

Answer 4

Im sorry for all you are going thru, it sounds like alot of information here. but you paying for her bills, is a big mistake on your part. i know 5 years is a long time. But it sounds as if she is bipolar and off her meds. without them, you cant change her, help her, convince her, etc. You are the enemy b/c she is having fun, manic. All you can do is wait, in my opinion. she needs to get her stuff together, straighten herself out but in my opinion, and believe me ive been there , done that, you are in for a world of hurt if you continue texting and trying to contact her, she isnt herself.Dont do this to yourself. you cannot save another person, dont let it destroy you. If she gets herself on track, which is UP TO HER. things may be different, she may even realize her wrongs and come to you and you may forgive her or not. im not saying move on, b/c its not that easy but you need to let it go for a time. If it was meant to be, it will be. I know this is the hardest advice to take b/c if someone told me this, id be like, no way i cant do that. she needs me etc. But being in this type of situation before and with 20.20 hindsight please take care of yourself, take your medications, take care of your finances, your life, you can do it and dont let her ways confuse you, that is what bipolar is up and down. she will come back, go away , hate you , love you. if its not consistant and she isnt on her meds, dont take it at face value, i hope this helps b/c i truely feel for you. xoxo

Answer 5

Oh my goodness this is quite a situation you have here and you are long winded. From my point of view the two of you need to be apart, you are feeding off of one another and it is unhealthy. You need to step back, move on , and try to be alone for a while and just work on yourself. Talk to your therapist about this, that is why you pay him. I hope this doesn't come off as harsh, but I think it would be for the best for you to have time alone to work on your own problems and leave her to screw up on her own. Good luck, stay strong, and keep going to therapy.

Answer 6

I'm not trying to be mean but maybe she was sick of you treating her like you were and got with someone that didn't have issues. Just because she meet someone else, doesn't want to talk to you anymore and the other person is the same gender as her doesn't mean she has a mental illness.

Answer 7

Sounds like she used your mental problems against you when she is the one infact with the mental problems, Let it go. be yourself and continue on bettering yourself and doing what you know you need to do to be a better person, and find you someone who is caring and understanding and most of all. right in the head. let her go. and move on.

Answer 8

Let her go. She has some bad issues within herself. You're better off without her. You can do better.

Answer 9

You can be with how you feel without a story. Do this as an experiment.