What is wrong with doing your own thing as long as you're not hurting anyone or inconveniencing them? If someone tries to do something that strays from the norm, even if it's just a slight difference, then it seems like everyone from the wedding industry to fellow brides acts like that person is committing the ultimate cardinal sin, simply for the fact that it isn't done in their tightknit social circle. If you want your wedding to be memorable and stand out to your guests, why have it be identical to the ones you've gone to before? Are some people just too afraid to step outside of the box for fear of the backlash they may get if they do so?
2007-11-28 06:31:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't listen to what other people have to say! Do things the way you want, and the way your fiancee wants, and you will be happy.
Some really good sites to check out that might help you feel better about doing things your own way:
www.indiebride.com
www.offbeatbride.com
Good luck, and congratulations!
2007-11-28 07:11:45 · answer #1 · answered by chrissielicious 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way!!!
I didn't deviate too far from normal but I did do things that were definitely non-traditional (a private wedding with a big reception later, colored wedding dress, no bridal party, none of the traditional reception stuff) and some people were really upset with me. Before the wedding they'd ask me about our plans, I'd tell them, and then they'd get really mad at me. In the end, most of those people who had been upset ended up having a really great time and thanked me for such a wonderful time. It's amazing because most of those people got to have the wedding they wanted and I wondered why I shouldn't get what I wanted. I don't care how people choose to get married or celebrate their love. I don't see it as anyone else's business. Some people also insinuated that because we were "breaking tradition" that that would in some way mean our marriage wouldn't last. I think some people are crazy. Although for them all being so upset about it, they all showed up. Funny how that works.
2007-11-28 07:38:30 · answer #2 · answered by stahija 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wooo-hooo! thought I was the only rebel out there. LOL I, too, have chosen to go 'anti-traditional' for my wedding. Both my fiance and I have been married once previously-he with the big ta-do wedding, mine more of a shotgun ceremony- and being the people we are, neither of us wanted to re-invent the wheel so to speak. I am very eccentric (my parents call me something else) and I have my own views, opinions and beliefs as does my fiance. We broke the mold when we were born so why try jamming us back into something that just doesn't fit? I admire people who are not afraid to themselves and really, really stick to their beliefs. Being undecided or even remotely doubting what you think, feel or want just opens the doors for "do-gooders" to impose their unsolicited advice and 'this is best' mentality into our lives. The cardinal sin-in my opinion-is for people who are unimaginative, rigid, anal retentive and maybe even obsessive-compulsive when it comes to "control"... ultimately, those poor brides et al. are prisoners to their self-limiting identity crisis. Who else-but someone who hasnt decided on an answer to the question "who am I"- would even consider something so routine and 'cookie cutter' ? Believe in yourself, stay true to your beliefs, and you will set an example for others that may actually give them a chance to grow and 'step outside' the shackles of 'tradition'. I have been a tremendous "liberator" for my parents, etc. by being who I am...Best wishes for the most un-traditional wedding that says "this is who we are, how we love and how we live, we invite you to experience our world". Do this in a way that is truly, uniquely you and you will definitely have the "stuff that dreams and memories are made of". ;)
2007-11-28 06:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Crissianne 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most people are uncomfortable with things and ideas that are unfamiliar to them. I'm dealing with a lot of that right now with my wedding. It's non-traditional in many ways!
- we're an interracial couple, each from different countries
- it's a multi-cultural wedding that incorporates a few traditions from each culture but leaves out some well-known traditions of each
- it's a non-religious wedding
- we're hosting it ourselves
We're finding that some family members (on each side) who haven't had much experience with diversity are just uneasy with multi-culturalism and things that buck tradition. Apparently, anything that isn't done their way is being done 'wrong'. (The whole 'My way = right; everything else = wrong' mentality) It's driving me crazy, but we're trying to be patient and hope that they'll see that it's really all ok.
2007-11-28 06:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by SE 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
AMEN!!!!!
I'm a non-traditional person myself. I feel nauseted by all of this cookie-bride and disgusting wedding industry that pryes on human emotions and shove unncesary stuff down your throut with the disguise of being "traditional" . Screw that.
I'm having a completly outside-of-the-box wedding, It works for us. I must say that it has been a chore to find things non wedding-like... and do things out of the norm. I also have found that things are actually lesss expensive if is not labeled "wedding"and its the same stuff. Go figure
Good luck
2007-11-28 06:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It's your day do it your way! Don't worry about what others think. If they start yapping about the decisions you make just tell them, "It's my day not yours and it will be what I want. When it's your day then you can do it your way." As for people from the wedding industry giving their 2 cents, you're paying them to do a job the way you want it done. Tell them you respect their experience but make it clear you want what you want and that's what they're being paid to give you.
2007-11-28 06:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by MISS H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As has been stated, do you have particular examples?
There are certain things that, based upon etiquette, should be handled the same way (such as not including registry information in the invitation) and people are going to react (hopefully) the same way when asked about the subject.
2007-11-28 06:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think a lot of backlash comes when the bride and groom dont act like good hosts. But if you are being a good host, I dont see whats wrong with going the unconventional route for your party! Any specific examples you can give us?
2007-11-28 06:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you do on your wedding day whatever you like. i'm having my vows renewed in september and according to the etiquette world it shouldn't look like a wedding. but believe me i didn't have a wedding when i got married through the courts and my vows will look just like a wedding because that's exactly how i want it and it's my wedding. i'm the one who's paying it with my husband so i don't care what other people think. i've talked to my family and they love the idea and they can't wait for the date to come.
2007-11-28 07:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by ynra BTB 4-18-09 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your vent is a common one and the reason brides are sometimes secret squirrels when it comes to the plans. The one thing you need to watch out for is anything that inadvertently gumms up the works and costs you extra money or causes a problem.
2007-11-28 11:02:55 · answer #10 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋