my boyfriend said today he wants a do over, im pregnant..should i be offended?

Question

well, I am anyways, but should I be? Somtimes I would like a do over to, i just wouldnt say it out loud. well first he says, are you ever going to not be pregnant ( im five months) and then i was going through baby cloths and thats when he said he wanted a do over

Answer 1

What a jerk! I would be mad, he doesn't sound very nice... I would like to say he's probably kidding but I don't think he is..
Sorry you got stuck w/a loser

Answer 2

It sounds like he's having some serious doubts about the situation at hand. The fact is you are pregnant, having his baby, and he just gave you an indication that he's regreting the decisions that have led up to this point -- hence the "do over" phrase. If he had to do it over, he wishes the two of you had never gotten pregnant and he wasn't in this impending situation.

Frankly, it was a selfish thing to say. However you can look at it one of two ways. He's just clued you in to how he feels -- Be warned -- he might not stick around. Or, he's venting some frustration over the helplessness he feels right now, and just blowing off some steam.

The best thing you can do is discuss the issue with him -- sooner rather then later. Tell him the truth about how his words made you feel and how you yourself feel about your pregnancy. It is normal to feel anxious about parenthood, especially if it's your first time.

His words spoken in haste will either break the two of you apart or open up the lines of communication. It's up to the two of you where it goes from here.

Good luck

Answer 3

If he is the type to see off the wall stuff normally, then no I would not be offended. Is he happy that you are pregnant? If not, then you may want to have THAT conversation. Men often start feeling neglected during pregnancies. Is your intimate side still vibrant or slowed down. If it's normally active and now, not very..he may be frustrated. Do what I did when my husband said colorful things like that and ask him " What his motivation was for saying that", " What did he get out of it", " Did he bother to think how it may hurt your feelings", that shut him up after about smart *** remark #2.
Good Luck !!

Answer 4

Guess he should of thought about that before engaging in the act that got you pregnant. If he wasn't ready, why was he taking chances. And it's just infantile to make such a comment. You can't go back in time and change what has been done and to state that outload is insensitive. Sounds like he has a serious problem with being self-centered. He better start worrying about being a good father, providing for that child and stop wishing for what can't be. What a jerk!!

Answer 5

Tell him you'll both get your "do over's" after you have your love child, and this time you'll be careful to use contraception so that you can plan for the arrival of another child. Everything will be O.K. as long as you keep being there for each other and remember that you both have giving that baby the best care possible in common. You can both turn this situation into a positive by growing together.

Answer 6

I've heard this complaint from other pregnant women regarding their partner's behavior towards them when they're pregnant, and it's a little frightening, actually. Consider the following:
As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy.
Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause, and evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners.
Your boyfriend's behavior should be a big red flag! If he begins to get violent, you need to leave at once!

Answer 7

I'm assuming a "do over" is wishing you hadn't gotten pregnant.
He sounds very insensitive and very scared. I'm sorry you have to deal with this when your the one who must be the most nervous! Be strong as you can right now and I would hope that you confronted him about his cruelty.
You don't want to be taking care for 2 babies.
Right now, be happy with your pregnancy. It's a very confusing difficult time--if you make it that way. No matter what you're going to be emotional.
Try to do activities surrounding yourself with other women in your situation. I heard pregnant yoga is great to release tension and negative feelings.

Answer 8

You guys are all idiots. A "do over" is obviously like a mulligan in golf. He wants to be able to go back and "DO it OVER" again so that his girlfriend is not pregnant anymore. Haven't you ever played a game, messed up (like missing a shot in HORSE) and said, "Wait, wait, can i have a 'do over' on that one?" Yes, you should be offended. I was like that too when my girlfriend was pregnant, but once my daughter was born, I fell in love with her. Don't worry, he'll come around to the idea.

Answer 9

You need to tell him how that makes you feel.... There are no do overs in life. It is time for him to grow up and act like an adult. You were not alone in making this child. I am sure he didn't ask for a do over in the heat of the moment. Tell him to start thinking with his big head... not the little one.

And yes you should be offended...... How would he feel if you told him you wish it wasn't his...

Answer 10

I think you have every right to be offended but once the baby comes you'll be happy and he will probably realize saying he wanted a "do over" was wrong and that he loves his new baby. But really, don't take it too hard. You are 5 months along and he is still just getting used to seeing you showing and growing. Good luck.

Answer 11

you mean get an abortion? It's to late for that, you maybe succesfully kill the baby but you can get an infection that will cost your life or cancer and its really dangerous when you are the second trimester . And trust me you'll regret it especially when you remember on one year birthday of your baby to be and you'll say you wish you didn't. Time passes real fast next time you know there going to school and you say your proud of yourself. And if you think that you two can't afford it why did you do it anyway! You can ask for help from DSHS they can help you from maternity until birth, hospital bill, and up to 1st birthday of your baby, and food stamp, they have nurse that go to your house to check you and you baby once a week for the first month for free until you say stop. I got help just for birth control. I have two kids myself, when my youngest is born we never thought that she could get bigger so they have me cessarean and we dont have health insurance and our bill got bigger about $13,000 and the hospital ask us if we want some help and they look at it if we are qualify for DSHS so we dont have to pay but apparently my husband's salary is big enoght not to qualify but they still work on it and they got our hospital bill down to $3,000. Is it not amazing? And don't be shy to ask for help because it's tax payers money that means is your money too. Goverment spend it like crazy why cant we? it's for our health anyway.