My fiance and I just moved to another state and I wont start working until after the wedding (Feb 9th)
All my girlfriends and family are in another state, and I am so bored and lonely! Im used to working full time plus school full time, and now I am completely isolated. He is working a lot and I am losing motivation when it comes to wedding planning, house stuff, etc, and I feel so depressed!
I want to enjoy this time for us but it is so difficult as no one is here to share it with me. I just feel like we should be so happy but instead the combination of all these factors is making us bicker with eachother, and I have no one here to help me plan or enjoy the process...ahh! Sorry i am venting but I am on here all the time and you girls always seem to have such good answers....plus I just need to get this out because I am majorly frustrated.
2007-11-28 05:49:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, I am going through the same thing. My fiance and I are are the only ones in Philly, my family is in TX, his in NY and my best friend is in KS. I am doing a lot of internet planning so far so I don't think it has really hit me yet but I know that it will once I have to start the legwork. That's why I decided on a destination wedding, so there isn't too much I have to physically do, more phone and e-mail stuff. I feel your pain though, it's hard not having anyone around to show things to or just go have lunch with to talk about wedding stuff. Try to take a deep breath and remember that this is supposed to be the best day of your life. It's always hard when you move to a new place, especially when you aren't working (I've moved 3 times in the last 5 years) but it gets better. Just look forward to the future.
2007-11-28 06:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the exact same thing happened to me and i was only 4 hours away from my friends and family. my husband and i decided to skip all the wedding planning and stress, and we just had a civil service at the county court, just me, him, and the judge. i know its not a dream wedding, but i dont regret it at all and i wouldnt go back and change it. everyone makes a big deal about weddings and family and celebrating it, but really all that matters is you and him. once we were married it was such a relief, and it was like this burden and stress was just lifted off of us. now im just happy that im married, and after my experience, i think the whole wedding thing is way overrated. if you do something like that you can always plan a reception back home w/your friends and family. my family wasnt exactly happy about it, but they supported my decision and are happy for me, and now my mother wants to plan a reception for us. ultimately its what makes you happy. i think if you just have a civil ceremony and get it over with you will feel so much better and relieved. and because its private and intimate, something you and your husband share, it makes it that much more special and brings you even closer together. and it ends the bikering because you dont have to worry about all the little details. weddings arent for everyone, and considering your situation and how you are feeling, i dont see the harm in just going to the court and getting married. and if you are set on having a wedding, you can still have one. theres no law saying you cant get married then have the ceremony later on if you decide to do that. and making friends in a new city isnt easy. people will tell you to go out and join groups, socialize, whatever, but its hard, especially for a woman. women arent the friendliest creatures, especially to other women they dont know. most of the people ive met have been men that want to hit on me. not fun. it gets really lonely and frustrating. once you start working that may help, its easy to get to know coworkers since you spend most of the day with them as opposed to going out here and there and meeting strangers all the time. and when you start feeling crappy and depressed, or get in a rut, its hard to get motivated to do things. you do need to find something to do just to get you out. get a dog to have a companion at home and take to the park, and get you out of the house (unless you have an apt). pets are a blessing and give you constant companionship. i feel for you its really hard, and my husband is still 4 hours away for about another month or so! just hang in there! once you are married everything will be so much easier and a lot of those negative feelings will go away! good luck, i wish i could help you more!
2007-11-28 06:22:02 · answer #2 · answered by confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my fiance and I moved, and most of my friends and family lives at least 3 hours away, so I get a little frustrated that my bridesmaids can't help me with everything and I usually end up doing it alone because it's easier. it's kind of depressing, but it's really exciting when someone actually does make the trip to help out with wedding stuff.
waiting until Feb 9th to start working is a long time. maybe you should get a part time job until then to keep yourself occupied and make some new friends.
2007-11-28 06:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Email with your friends and family on wedding details that why they will still be in the loop. Try and find somewhere you can volunteer for through the holidays to help take your mind off of being lonely. The bickering will stop you are just adjusting to the new surroundings.
Good luck & a happy marriage.
2007-11-28 05:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in NJ, Fiance is 3 hours away in PA. He has a small amount of family in PA near him and I am trying to plan our wedding out there where we will be living together.
I'm still quite busy right now as I am finishing school and working for a couple more weeks before moving there. But when I get there I will be unemployed.
Are there any groups you could join? Maybe go to your local craft store and learn to knit or crochet?
2007-11-28 07:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am live in Mass and everyone is in NY including the wedding. When I go there I just pack everything in a set up apointments. The internet is my friend has a lot of great sites for cakes and flowers and dresses. I researched before I went so when I went it was easy. E-mail everyone or having your maid keep in contact with everyone is good. My matron does not know everyone but she has been great.
2007-11-28 07:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kelsy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im living in another country and planned our wedding from here, too. Sometimes I miss my friends and family in the states, but that never stopped me from making friends and enjoying my life here! You have to get out, volunteer or get a job.
2007-11-28 05:57:48 · answer #7 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to join a gym, not only will it help you get in shape, but it would also give you a chance to get out of the house, maybe make friends and it will help you get rid of some of your anger/tension/stress. Plus, working out just makes people feel better about themselves.
One more thing, have you talked to your fiance about this? If not I think you should.
2007-11-28 05:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋