Isn't it rather selfish for a person with a hereditary mental disorder to have a child?

Question

I just read a post in which a woman with bipolar disorder asked if she should have a child. I know that I'm going to draw a lot of criticism for posting this, but read the rest of this post. First of all, let me say that I have firsthand experience with mental illness. I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD, all of which have genetic components. Because of the fact that these disorders are often hereditary, I have seriously questioned whether it's a good idea to risk having a child who would have those issues. I can't help but think that if someone knows that he/she has a hereditary mental illness, he/she should seriously consider whether it's a good idea to risk having a child who will suffer the way that he/she has suffered. Of course, just because a parent has an illness like depression or bipolar disorder doesn't mean that the child will necessarily have it, but the risk IS there! Many people focus on their desire to have children rather than the possible issues their children would

face if they had them. However, when you have children, it isn't just about the parents, anymore. It is (or should be) mainly about the children and their best interests. More people should focus on their prospective children rather than themselves when considering whether to have children.

Answer 1

So you're saying anybody with a condition that may POSSIBLY be inherited shouldn't have kids? Okay, that wipes out anybody with breast cancer, colon cancer, Huntington's, Alzheimer's, Diabetes, Schizophrenia, Heart Disease, Sickle Cell Anemia, Depression, Alcoholism, Obesity....and the list goes on and on....my great-grandmother had Alzheimer's and my grandmother had colon cancer...does that mean I should never have kids? If my mother had followed your logic, I wouldn't be here, and, let's face it, that would just suck for everyone. If everybody based their decision to have kids on what MIGHT or MIGHT NOT happen to them 40-50 years down the road, the human population would die out. I COULD get hit by a bus and die tomorrow, does that mean I shouldn't walk down the street? I COULD choke on some food and die. Does that mean I shouldn't eat?

Answer 2

I think this is a great question. I have gone through this myself and decided not to have biological children. At 32 with a lot of folks hanging around me and nagging, it's a tough choice.
Every living relative I have has some sort of mental illness --bi-polar, depression, and ADHD for me-- and as the last person able to continue this bloodline, I've decided that it stops here.
I'm lucky enough to be highly functional and believe I will be a good mother to the child I adopt someday.
So many children in this world need homes and I think it's great to see people questioning bringing one into the world when they could do so much good by adopting.
When I reflect on my childhood with a bipolar mother, I know that this is the option for me.
I hope people who have any illness can find a way to give this some thought.

Answer 3

Al tho the genetic disposition is there, a lot can be done to prevent mental illness. There are some very good studies to show that trauma, stress, etc. increase chances of developing mental illness. If a person is aware of this and educates themselves in child rearing, it's likely the child of a bi polar may be mentally healthier than a non genetically predisposed child. I think it depends on each case. How ill the parent is, how well maintained on medication, are they able to provide a stable, loving home.
If all the men in my family have died of heart attacks by age 40 does that mean I should not have a child?
IF all the women in my family have developed breast cancer by age 35 should I not have children or should all the women have mastectomies at age 20?
We can't second guess for someone else. Hitler tried to remove what he considered defective genes from the gene pool, you know.

Answer 4

Not necessarily selfish in my view. You have to consider all views and information at hand. We all "inherit" something from our parents...eye color, height, disorders, etc. We can't play God and determine who should have kids and who shouldn't have kids.

It's a personal decision. Many people with mental disorders are functioning in society very well and know enough and are aware enough to ask these questions and manage the problem themselves. Should a person with deafness than can possibly be passed to a child not reproduce? Is the goal to have a "perfect child" or to bring a child into the world who may just bring joy to its family and to others?

This is a response to the comment you've added. I see the point; however, it does not preclude or prevent anyone with an inheritable condition from having children. I have a dear and close friend who has decided to have a child and went under genetic counseling and even a loss of a pregnancy. I think she will be a wonderful mother and while she has a physical condition that can be inherited, the same ideas apply to a mental condition. They can be treated, and it is an individual decision. I feel in many instances selfishness is a "good" thing. Having children is a personal decision. Period. We cannot judge anyone for their reasons to bring a child into this world. Yes, risks are there. All we can do is mitigate or manage risks. We cannot avoid nor prevent risks. Many people with physical or mental conditions do not necessarily perceive their conditions as "suffering." They perceive them positively as simply a challenge they have in this life. And don't we ALL have challenges?

Answer 5

I see you point. However, as you said, 1. bi-polar disorder isn't necessarily inheritable and 2. there are treatments available for this mental illness.
Also, where risk is involved, where do you draw the line? Three women in my family have died of luekemia...does that mean that I shouldn't have a daughter because she might suffer the same fate?
Its not a call that I or you can make. Its a personal decision between a moman, her partner and her doctor.

Answer 6

A parent without pre-existing medical conditions could also have children that might develop them. Should they take that risk? Having children IS a risk, period, regardless of the circumstances. Wanting to have children is a biological compulsion; many people feel this need and urge to have them. In our free society, that's their choice and their right. I have my good and bad days with mental problems, at times they're overbearing, and other times I'm fine. This is just life, you shouldn't have kids because you know they'll have perfect little lives, you should have them because you want them, and a good parent will guide them through the good and bad times.

Answer 7

I think it depends on the severity of the condition. If one (or both) of the parents has a mild disorder, easily managed with therapy, it's not so selfish. Problem is, the woman likely has to go off her meds during her pregnancy, and that might cause problems. But if someone has genes for a disease that can cause severe disability, it might be best to consider adopting instead.

Answer 8

Supposedly I have bi-polar as well and my grandfather suffered from schizophrenia but the rest of my family is ok. It's not necessarily hereditary.

Plus you start down a slippery slope deciding who has the right to reproduce.

Watch this you tube clip on eugenics and consider -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=forTGE5tw48&feature=related

Answer 9

I don't think we can really answer that question. I can, however, tell you that I am SO happy my mother with bipolar disorder made the decision to have me (and my sisters). One of her three children inherited the disorder, and all three of us are happy people who have a lot to contribute to the world.

Answer 10

hmm, well i love my loved one who also happens to have bipolar disorder...she is an amazing young person and I feel blessed to have her in my life. So, nope don't agree with ya, sorry.