Do you expect a full meal at a wedding regardless of the time?

Question

And do you do the same in your everyday life?

I was just curious because I was reading several responses at the Knot ripping a girl to shreds for wanting to have a dessert reception at 8pm and everyone was telling her that people expect to be fed a full meal at a wedding no matter what time it is, morning, afternoon, or evening, even if they would never do so any other day of the year.

Personally that didn't make sense to me and I have never seen it done. I can understand a full meal at a regular meal time but not at the in-between or after-dinner times.

J M, does that mean that if someone puts "dinner reception to follow" on the invite, they are being redundant? Or is indictation of the type of food only supposed to be given if a full meal is not being served?

Answer 1

I feel sorry for her...unfortunately, most people will expect a full meal no matter the time, but I think at 8:00 she can definitely get away with that without a complete uproar. People may come expectinga full meal, but once they are there they will see what is offered and realize the time and enjoy so many wonderful desserts!! I would just suggest having somethine for diabetics, etc, and maybe some finger food (cheese, crackers, fruit) as well as some people arent huge dessert eaters (not like me! : )) It can also be a good idea to put something like "dessert reception to follow" in the invite so that people know what to expect, that makes the whole thing easier!

Answer 2

8pm is the standard time for a wedding dinner to start so I think it would be weird not to have dinner. Most weddings start cocktail hour at 7 and then the reception w/ dinner at 8. After a ceremony and all those hours, your guests will be hungry. And yes even if it is an afternoon wedding there should still be a full meal. I don't know what you mean by "would never do so any other day of the year". Do you eat breakfast? lunch? dinner? So why is a wedding any different? (btw, I eat dinner between 7 & 8 so it's normal for me)

Answer 3

Although I think it is more proper to feed your guests at a wedding/reception that is around dinner time, I feel like if it was made clear on the invitation that desserts will be served she has not done anything wrong. That way, people will realize they should eat before they go to the event. The people who say you should feed everyone a full meal no matter what might not realize the cost of doing so (trust me, I did it & it was the most expensive part of my wedding by far). If the couple is strapped for money, serving desserts is a great way to show appreciation for your guests without breaking the bank. And on that note, people should just be thankful to be invited to celebrate their marriage with them, not what kind of food they received.

Answer 4

Not really, no. I think at 8:00, it could be confusing, since guests generally have to be there for the ceremony in advance, and it's still early enough that they may not have thought to have dinner beforehand.

If the ceremony started at 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon, I would assume that it was planned to take place after lunch, but before dinner.

That said, most guests do expect to be served alcohol (whether or not this expectation is appropriate is a different conversation), and I would want to be certain that they weren't getting stewed on an empty stomach.

Also, as much as I love dessert, I think there are a lot of people who don't eat sweets, so to serve only dessert might be problematic. For example, my father is diabetic, so this wouldn't work for him at all.

Answer 5

For many people, dinner IS at 8. Some families eat at 6. So if its an evening or late afternoon wedding, I think that serving a meal is in order.
If you want to have a dessert reception or hors d ouevres (sp?) only, noon or mid-afternoon is a perfect time to hold the party.

Answer 6

You know, I've thought a lot about this. The bottom line is that people EXPECT to be fed at weddings and they shouldn't. Honestly, I think that's one of the reasons people go to weddings and receptions is because of the booze and food. That's just not right. If someone doesn't want the expense of feeding someone a full meal, they shouldn't have to pay for it. I didn't and no one criticized me.

Answer 7

we have been to wedding receptions at all times of the day. mid morning with breakfast buffets, luncheon receptions with finger foods, mid-afternoon with coffee and cakes, and dinner receptions with full meals.
the lovliest receptions are evening ones, and they are almost always wine and appies, or champagne and dessert.
we go to weddings to join in the celebration of a new beginning for the happy couple, we really don't care what they feed us! for the most part everyone i know prefers the lighter foods as opposed to sitting down to a huge meal.
as for people ripping this poor girl to shreds, i hope she didn't listen to them. some people are rude, and mean-spirited, saying things just to hurt someone.

Answer 8

I think that if you are going to offer only a dessert reception (or cocktail reception or anything else that isn't a full meal) you need to let people know IN ADVANCE. my cousin eloped (2nd wedding) and my parents went to the party to celebrate the wedding and they said there was no food.. some snacky things that were gone quickly and this event started at 6:30 or 7pm... I thought that was rude...

inviting people anywhere in honor of yourself and not feeding them is rude.

Answer 9

If a full meal was not going to be served, I would expect the reception wording to indicate it. "Cocktail reception at 8:00" or "Light refreshments at 1:00" would tell guests that there is no meal.

Answer 10

I have been to several weddings in my life and none of them had a full meal.

I know couples that have a big budget for a wedding have full meals but the more common couples don't.


All the weddings I attended were more like mine--there was food to eat but not a meal--stuff like meat,cheese,veggie,fruit tray's,ect.

I think the people that gripe about not having a full meal is just looking to be fed so they don't have to cook.