I have never had anyone really close to me die before but now one of my best friends is dying of cancer. He has maybe a week left to live. I am too scared to go to his funeral. I'm freaking out!
2007-11-28 05:01:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
This is hard for everyone. It is upsetting because we want them here. Talk to others who also are close to your friend. It is okay to cry. Think about what you did together and what was special about her. In time, you do better. It will take a while. It doesn't help to ignore it. You still have to deal with your feelings.
2007-11-29 00:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had several loved ones die of cancer. It is very hard.
You need to decide what you need to do to begin healing from the loss when it happens. Will you be able to get closure and the support you need if you don't go? Will you be able to do that some other way? Will there be people there who will need you to come?
Some people need to begin or continue healing with the funeral others may not need it at all. Think of what you need to do.
If you go you may want to have a friend come with you, especially one who will not feel the loss as deeply as you. That may help you feel that you are not falling into an abyss of sadness with someone not so sad there as your anchor. If someone brings children, watch them or hold them and be reminded either way that there is still life and another existence after this.
Keep a special momento of him handy if that helps you by having something physical to hold when you miss him.
Funerals are for the living also. A place to come together to share the loss and celebrate the person.
We all have a short time here. Some of us shorter than others. Celebrate him now and after he dies.
I am so sorry you are going through this. You are not alone.
2007-11-28 07:52:03 · answer #2 · answered by Nouri K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get over a death of someone close to you. The pain wont be as strong throughout the years.. but its always there. I have lost a mother at a young age of 15, and that alone was hard. Its harder to lose a relative then friend.. but pain is pain. I promise in time your harder times will go away. But the pain will always remain because there no longer in your life and you can no longer see or be with them. I hope this helps. If anything go to the funeral because that is what he would want. If you need help getting over the loss then seek friends and family that will be there to support you. And Know that I myself will pray for you and your friend!!
2007-11-28 05:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by NiCk_jOnAs_fAnn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Death is not the end but a new beginning. When someone close to us dies it is the people left behind that suffer. Two years ago i had a friend dieing of cancer, I felt the same way you do, I did not want to see him like that. I was not there when he died and i did not get to say "until later" we will meet again. I have to live with that the rest of my life. You should have closure on the relationship you shared and tell your friend how much them meant to you, also never say good bye, "until later". I will pray for both you and your friend, I miss my friend terribly and wish i could share that last minute with him.
God bless
2007-11-28 05:09:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to do it like they say time heals pain. The best thing you can do right now is to spend every minute with him, give him support so that when he does die you can look back and say to yourself that you made the most out of the time he had left on earth.
Try to rememeber all the good times you had together and go on and live the rest of your life in a way that would make him proud.
2007-11-28 05:06:37 · answer #5 · answered by ~Romantic_Dreamer~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has not died yet. Live daily and keep a tight grip on the moments you have. Do not look at the negative look at the friendship that you have been blessed with. Love the time you have do not focus on the Death but on the life y'all have shared.
Your all in my prayers and GOD has a plan even though we may not understand why or how things like this can happen.
My Nephew Andrew: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/aws
Read this it is very eye opening.
In GODS Love,
Sgrfreeme
2007-12-01 07:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by sgrfreeme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Celebrate his life. Then give yourself a lot of time. Funerals are for the living to mourn. If you choose to remember his life rather than the sight of a coffin....dont go. He knows you well and would understand......wouldnt he? Have your own memorial and do something you used to do with him and remember that day. Do it on the anniversary of his death every year. Then cry .... a lot, until you dont need to anymore.
2007-11-28 05:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by smcp1965 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
time is the only cure for the pain .Spend as much time as can with him now (it will be hard) so that you'll feel less guilt. Sorry theirs going to be guilt feeling too, it's part of grieving. If you can force yourself to go to the funeral ,it part of closure. You'll find it hard to forgive yourself if you don't. I hope this will also helps ,I'm going to say a prayer for you.
2007-11-28 05:14:17 · answer #8 · answered by turtle3fish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG First let me say I am truly sorry about this! Im sure it must be a very hard time in your life right now but you must be strong if not for you at least for your friend! Keep your head up and relax he wont be miserable anymore.
2007-11-28 05:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by 1st Baby Due 03/9/2010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋