I'm an atheist, but I send my 4 year old daughter to a christian day care and we go to Sunday school when we

Question

can. She is starting to ask a lot of questions about the world around her and the answers that I would give her would confuse her more than her original question. (You know, why are trees green, why is the sun warm, etc) So me and my wife, who is a christian, decide that saying "God did it.", was a better option.
I figure when she gets older she can make up her own mind.
Did I cop out, or did I do the right thing?
What will (did) you do with your kids?

Thank you for you're thoughtful answers. I do explain things to my daughter, and say "I don't know" on occasion. She asked me once where all the dinosaurs went, so I explained the meteor theory, the disease theory and got partway through the genetic drift theory before she ran off to ask Mom. Mom started on the same theories and she interrupted, "Well, that God guy, if he wants to, he can just make more." If that was OK for her, it was OK for us.
Thanks Soleil, she is sharp as a tack.
For the rude atheists on here, you can bite my @ss. You're not looking for spiritual answers, you're just on here making fun of other people cause your too scared to believe in anything yourself. It took me a long time to decide I was an atheist, and I didn't do it to piss off my parents or make some kind of political statement.
For the Christian answerers, thank you for your time and thoughts, but I am hopeing to turn my daughter onto science and chemistry ASAP.

Answer 1

You copped out. "God did it" isn't an answer to anything. If you are asked a question by a child your options are a) the answer if you know it b) The answer if you can find it out easily, c) "I don't know". It's permissible to use your imagination ("It's windy because the trees are waving their branches around"). But never pass off a lie as the truth.

I tell my kids what I can within the limits of my knowledge, and I show them how to find out the answers to things I can't help them with. They'll need that skill sooner or later. And now my son knows all about skeletons, dinosaurs, the moon and planets, where food comes from and how to cook it and much else besides. He's 4. And he still has fun.

Answer 2

Whether this is a joke or not, I am not sure, but I will answer anyway, because this IS something people have to go through, especially, when two people of different belief systems unite.

She is very young, so sometimes it is hard to explain things scientifically. You could always try, but you know your daughter better than we do, so you also know if she would be able to understand a scientific explanation of why the trees are green and why the sun is warm.

Simply saying, "God did it," is sort of a cop out. Because she is very young though, she will not be able to understand the entire concept of God either.

My personal opinion for the best possible answer when you can't think of how to explain it is, "I don't know, honey." That, or you would have to try to explain it in best terms as you can. There is nothing wrong with teaching children about God at that young of an age, because if someone does not believe later in life, it will happen, no matter what. Don't let her become brainwashed so that all she has to rely on is Christianity, however, because your wife is Christian, don't throw out the idea entirely. That may cause a family fight.

It kind of sounds like your wife is the more dominant partner in your relationship, because I know many atheists who definitely would not tolerate saying something like that to a child, however, I know many atheists that would, simply because then they do not have to explain the science part. In my honest opinion, what you are doing now is fine, but when these questions come up for her later in life when she is more capable of understanding, "God did it" should not be the only answer you have.

How about the next time she asks a question like that you say something like, "Why don't we look it up together?"

Answer 3

I am a Pagan and my husband has stated he is an Athiest. I have no problem with my daughter going to a church with her friends; I have provided a Bible (kids version) for her to read; I answer her qs re Jesus and the Bible; BUT I also explain the differences between what her friends "believe" and what I believe. I do not force her to believe anything and I stress that Jesus is just one set of beliefs and that many people believe many different things.

So, I leave her options open. When she asks questions like why is a tree green, I explain the science behind it if I can. I also give her the "spirtual" beliefs of different people.

Do I think you copped out? Yes, if you don't believe it then tell her some people believe that it is thanks to their God.

We have been doing this for as long as I can remember, my daughter is now 8 and is beginning to understand that there are even differnces in the faith of those that are Christians.

Answer 4

I would give some kind of honest explanation even if she doesn't understand at the time. At least her little mind will suspect that there is something she's not getting and she'll be more inquisitive.

I'm in a similar situation. My kids (5 and 7) go to Sunday school with their grandmother. They love it and like to talk about how god created everything and Jesus is so great and all that. When they ask me what I think, I tell them. They look at me all confused, usually. Well, biology, chemistry, physics - these subjects are a lot harder to understand than magic. But I had'em and it's my responsibility to educate them, so what are you gonna do..? Plus, I do think they are getting an education of sorts at church. It's important that the know what is going on in the world and why.

Answer 5

i think that was smart. i mean if a 3 year old asked you where do babies come from, would you go into this long discussion with huge terms and things that would trigger more questions without answering the original one? that was good. i mean she will learn why the sun is warm and why trees are green in science within the next 5-7 years right?

beign athiest has nothing to do with it because her mother is a chiristian and she is being raised christian

and i would like to make a remark about angry cas
she is 4 and she can understand God better than we can. Why? because she accepts without knowing. plus, fiath is not prayers and facts, it is a feeling and a 4 year old can understand God better because God is simplicity it its fullest form. a 4 year old does not care about the price of oil neither does God, a 4 year old does not watch the news to keep up on the presidential candidates niether does God. a 4 year old is (while it may not seem true) complete and utter simplicity and so is God. so the 4 year old can understand God made it better than an adult and a 4 year old can understand it better than well you see the chloroplast...


and that remark was to angry cas not to the questioner. i am not trying to convert anyone here. just making a remark to angry cas

Answer 6

Those aren't terribly difficult questions. And if she doesn't fully understand the correct answer, she's still far, far better off than she is understanding the wrong answer. Basically you're willing to tell her that God did it because you realise it isn't terribly important that she understands the real explanation at this point, but for the same reason you might as well give her a scientific explanation even if she won't understand all of it. Even if she doesn't understand a word of it, at least she hasn't formed any false beliefs so there won't be any obstacles to her learning later on.

Answer 7

You sure copped out on that one. As she gets older, her mind will even be more inquisitive and very soon search out for god, the one who did all of these things. Instead of passing the buck to god which you already know can't answer or confirm these question, give her the real answers. If you don't know then look then up online and then tell her. She might not comprehend the answer but at least it is the truth. Trust me she will appreciate it later in life.

Answer 8

Being an atheist that was really upset that my parents chose my religion for me....I decided to teach my son about all religions and give him the option of choosing his own religion, or not choosing one at all. Following a religion is something most people do their entire lives. Having it predetermined for you since birth is not fair. If you don't know the answers to your daughters questions I would advise you to say I don't know. Making up lies is really bad. That kid looks up to you and respects you. How do you think she is gonna feel when she gets older and realizes her parents out right lied to her. The internet can answer a lot of those questions you explain as god did it. Hop on your computer and educated yourself. And stop lying to your kid.

Answer 9

My daughter goes to a christian summer-camp every year! I figure that she has a mind of her own--but whenever she asks me something about nature I try to explain it to her as I honestly feel that I can--truthfully, from a scientific perspective.

All that aside, I never tried to discourage her from believing in Santa Claus, etc. She came to her own conclusions soon enough. Just give your daughter love and encourage her in the things she enjoys, whatever her point of view turns out to be.

Answer 10

I'm pretty much an atheist, and my wife was raised religious. She is pretty skeptical these days, but my daughter (8) has been being taught 'christian' stuff since she was little.

I discuss it with her every once in a while, and ask her questions to make her think.

She can make her own decisions.