I think I've been played/used... what would you think if your ex said this?

Question

BF and I broke up about 6 weeks ago. (Both 25) We were getting pretty serious and he wanted to back off. A couple weeks later he started hanging out with some girl, then he went out of town for 3 weeks. Last week, I heard from him for the first time. He told me he missed me, wanted to start seeing me again, etc. (I have never been a booty call and he knows I won't put out) I told him I heard he had a gf, he said they were nowhere close to being official and were just hanging out.

A few days later I look at his myspace and see that this girl is way more than a friend and was out of town when he was calling me again. Since she's been back, he hasn't called me again. They've only been together a couple weeks, and he is clearly a jerk, but it still hurts that he chose her over me, esp. so soon after breaking up (I know he wasn't cheating while we were together; he just met her through work) and since he led me on. How can I get over this? I'm sad.... :-(

When he called me the 1st time he kept asking why we even broke up in the first place since we had so much fun together, etc. I'm so confused. He's never acted like a player before!

Answer 1

Stop receiving his calls and stop checking his myspace account. erase his account link from yours. Distancing yourself would help. Also, decide what you really want. Yes, he is playing you. The word "not official" means something is already going on with them but not as serous but he still wants to hang out with her.

It does hurt but I suggest that you move on. Try relaxing or take a vacation somewhere. Good luck.

Answer 2

You think??? He played you big time. Trust me I know it's hard but you have to be THANKFUL that you've found out early enough to get away from that loser, before you know you've wasted almost your entire life on this jerk. You're very young and you'll find someone better who is not going to play mind games...But you should learn from this experience and when the next person comes, be ALERT and pay attention very closely! Don't rush into anything. You need to keep yourself busy, exercise, do things you like to do...Try to spend time with your family, friends... Keep a Diary and write down about him, how he treated you... and let that be a reminder for you, so if he comes back to you again, read your Diary and don't you ever forget how he treated you. Have pride, think of yourself highly...

Answer 3

Ok, first of all, he's definitely playing you ! Good for you for noticing it ! Ok, now, remember, there's a reason you broke up & there is no way he is ready to be back with you, nor does he deserve you. Now, to get over it, nothing tastes better than sweet revenge (I know it's immature, but, come on, it's fun !) Ok, now, I assume that this girl had no idea what he did to you, so, she's innocent, so, you want to make him look like the jerk he is so she'll dump him. (b/c he doesn't deserve her either if he's off talking to other girls)Does he have his MySpace page set so that he has to approve all comments? Hopefully not. I'm assuming that this other girl is his friend on there & probably checks his page frequently. If you know a time he won't check it for awhile, send him a comment saying something about enjoying talking to him during that week (make sure you state what week it is so that this chick can see it & see that he was talking to you) & that you need to think about how he said he wants to get back with you some more & ask him to hang out on, say, friday night. Now, don't go meeting up with him by yourself (b/c you don't want him to try to actually convince you to get back with him.....you are making it look like you want to when you don't). Take your camera with you & snap some cute pics of the 2 of you together. Then, the next day, post them on his page as comments too . After that, tell him you don't think it will work between you to & don't talk to him again. &, if you feel bad at all, remember that you were just playing him like he played you ! After this, go out with your friends, have fun, meet new guys & take lots of pics & post them on your poage so he knows that you have moved on & don't mean anything to him anymore (even if you don't feel that way)

Answer 4

imo, when you break up with someone...you still can have some feelings for them, for a while. Is is very confusing..so he might just be confused, trying to sort out all these different emotions, regrets, feelings for you and for the new girl. I don't think he's simply using you...he may just be going back and forth cuz he has no idea where he stands, what he wants etc..But he did break up with you!

I'd say stay away from him -he needs to figure things out on his own. Especially since he didn't call you again. Don't be hurt, things sometimes don't work out. People's feelings are not clear-cut. He's human too, entitled to being confused:( but you should look out for yourself and move on. And you know..maybe it was for the best, to pave the way for a better match for you.

Answer 5

Believe it or not, it's now easier to move on since it's crystal clear than he's a total son of a *****. At least, you would save yourself from the agony of revising your love story, and seeing him as the totally adorable guy. Please stop taking his calls. It's the fastest route to recovery. And control every impulse to check on what he's up to (i.e. by checking his voice mail, email, myspace, etc.). You are only hurting yourself more. I was once upon a time in a similar situation, and when a person is hurting, apparently, he/she seems to be just interested in feeling more pain (wow)... I was kinda like that in the sense that even if it hurt me like a motherf*cker, I'd still keep on checking him out on MySpace... and after each time I did, I usually just felt more awful. I realized that I couldn't put up with feeling defeated anymore so I talked to my mom and she installed this website blocker in my PC, and blocked MySpace. I knew at the time that couldn't control certain self-defeating actions, so I sought help. I haven't heard or read about him since this angel of a website blocker was installed, and now, I don't even feel interested to know about him anymore. Not knowing anything def expedited my recovery.

It's time to take care of yourself. Trust me, you'll find someone better.

Answer 6

Since you are 25 I am going to give you the adult answer. You have to remember that everyone has a right to choose what works for them. You can called him a jerk or an a$$hole as much as you want but in your heart you know he is none of those things or you would not have been with him. As much as it may hurt he has the right to see whomever he wants-even if it's five minutes after you broke up. You guys are not together anymore and in your heart you know it's for the best. Every relationship we have is not meant to last forever, they are meant to teach you lessons and make you stronger. So find out what the lesson is that God was trying ot teach you, learn it and move on. Trust me you are just being prepared for Mr. Right.

Answer 7

It starts with loving you (yourself). Once you realize that you come before any man, then you'll be able to move forward. Not sure what the length of your relationship w/bf as u did not mention, however it if were only with him a short period then it's only an infactuation thing, b4 u know it, your heart will be back in place. But to get going......stop answering his phone calls, emails, text mgs, etc. and focus on you. It may take a few minutes, but eventually you'll be rid of him for good and your heart back in good standings with yourself. If he really want you, he'll come back with all honesty. One once said "to get over someone , is to get with someone" ....sometimes this can be true and sometimes not. You can only try this method, but the bottom line today is to focus on you and condition your heart back to where it need to be,and that's within you. Protect it !!!!

Answer 8

It will hurt for a while, Esther.

But since he has gotten on with his life, it's time for you to get on with yours. Think of it: You really got the better deal. This girl is stuck with a jerk who is willing to lie and throw his lady over for whatever other pretty toy catches his eye. You are free and clear.

Find something to occupy your time and your mind. Get together with your friends to do things. Take a course in something you've always wanted to know about. Get started gardening or painting or building things.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Well if it is over it is over and their isn't really not much you can do, from my experience I broke up with my ex and looked for another woman to replace my loss or I have at one point just threw my hands in the air and said I need me time to work on me and to Veiw my life not so much of what or where I have gone wrong but as far as what I need to do for me !!!

Here is my list for Me :

Just for today I will

look at myself in the Mirror and check myself for my ego, my craftyness,my self centerdness,any procastinating,I'm I angery, Any resentments, am I selfish, Have I hurt anyone today, Do I love myself, Do I hate myself, Do I treat others as I would like to be treated, am i humble,compassionate, do I love others, am i altruistic.

Answer 10

Five important tips for women.
1. It's important that a man helps out around the house, and has a good job.
2. It's important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It's important to find a man you can count on,and will never lie to you.
4. It's important that a man loves you passionately, satisfies you completely, and spoils you with expensive gifts.
5. It's very important that these four men don't know each other.