How long does it take for a 6 year old to adjust to school? I had to homeschool him through Kindergarten?

Question

because of health reasons. We just put him in the first grade on Monday. He teared up when I left him, but when I picked him up he was okay and said it was fun. The next day he cried a little when I left him and when I picked him up he was crying saying he didn't want to go back to school because his teacher was mean. He said she told them to put their papers in their box and he put his papers in his folder then went to put it in his box and she said "Not like that! Like this!" and she took the papers out of the folder "fast" (fast is the word he used so to me that is like snatching). When she did this it apparently hurt his feelings. My son has led a pretty sheltered life because of his health problems. How long should it take him to adjust and realize that this is the way the world works? There are things out there he is going to have to get used to and I want him to toughen up and not cry and be scared. He LOVES the kids and has already made a good little friend.

After two days of school he doesn’t like his teacher. When I dropped him off this morning (day 3), I had put a little photo of me in his pocket and told him that I would be thinking about him all day and if he gets sad or scared to reach in his pocket and touch the picture. I know it sounds corny, but I don’t want him to be sad. Any advice you could give to help my son would be appreciated. Thank you for your answers.

Answer 1

Most kids don't like their teacher even 30 days after you drop them off for the first time. He was used to YOU be the one and only constant in his life. He now has to share a teacher with 20 other kids. He has to do things the way they say to do it, and he doesn't have the comforts of home.

YOU need to make sure you are confident that he can do it and always have a smile on your face about it. Be firm. Kids are like animals...they smell fear.

I homeschooled my children for a while... I'm so glad they are in public school again. It's better for them. For anyone that thinks home schooling will give your child a "better" education...think again. It's much more difficult, and they won't learn nearly as much as they will in public school. While I still don't agree with everything that's done in public school, I still think it's the better way to go. I don't agree with the posted speed limit signs out on the highway here, but I do what it says anyway! Weird comparison...but it's true!

Answer 2

You must sit down with him and tell him this. If you show him that this is the way the world works, but you are still there to love him it will make it easier to understand what's going on. However, be a mother not a buddy. If he wasn't doing what he was suppose to do, then you must show him how to follow directions so that in the future he will not be chastised like that from the teacher. Now if the teacher is just a rude person all together then you need to address the teacher personally and if need be communicate with the principal of the school about this. Just because your child put the paper in the wrong way does not give the teacher the right to be so mean. Quite frankly, I'm disgusted at some of the people who are hired by our educational departments. It's like they couldn't find anybody else to do it so they found the grumpiest candidates around to make things difficult for the school. You also have to find out was your son being the perfect little angel that day or had he been misbehaving and perhaps she was frustrated with his demeanor throughout the day. The teacher is only human just like the rest of us. The difference is in her position she is suppose to be a role model for her class and if they see her being rude to other people they are going to think it's okay for them to be that way, including your son. You as the parent must teach him that it's not okay to treat people the way that teacher did, but also tell him that if the teacher asks him to do something he should mind her. Many times things like this will eventually blow over and he will mature over this learning experience. Remember, he's still a new life and still learning how to live on his own. He needs you the mother and his teachers to guide him the right direction so he can be the person you know he's going to be someday. All I can say is it comes down to this. Love him. Don't just say you love him, show him. Maybe if he feels depressed about what happens at school maybe take him out for ice cream after school. Or take him to his favorite restaurant and let him get his favorite thing to order. Doing this will show him that even though he has to go through hard times throughout the day if he sticks with it he will be rewarded for his determination.

Answer 3

almost every kid takes a while to adjust to school. most do it in preschool or kindergarten, so most of his peers may be having an easier time now, but that doesn't mean there's a problem with your son. if he's still having trouble in a few weeks, schedule a conference with the teacher to talk about how to ease him into things a little better (some kids take a month or more to adjust; it doesn't mean there's a problem with the teacher or the school!). but definitely don't panic if the first few days or even first couple of weeks are difficult. it's a big change, and most kids like things to stay the same. :-) it doesn't mean you're doing the wrong thing for him. adversity builds character. :-) Invite some of his new friends over for playdates. Soon he'll have friends and be more used to the routine. In the meantime, do your best to convey to your son that you're confident he's in the right place and he'll be fine. if he senses that you're unsure, it will make things more difficult for him. good luck; sounds like he'll be fine if he's already made a friend!

Answer 4

I think I understand, I don't think it should take too young for your child to be mainstreamed into the education system as he is still young and the other kids in his class are as well very young, coincidently studies show that the majority of goof freindships start in grade 1 and your son did, so HES ON TRACK IN THAT DEPARTMENT, good, one less problem.
With regards to the teacher incident with the folders, your son is just going to have to get used to it, you do not want to shelter him anymore than he already has been by agreeing w/ him that the teacher is mean, thats the way the world is, he needs to build up a backbone because as you and i know all too well, it doesn't get any easier with age.
Perhaps you should explain this to your son saying you understand how he feels but thats school for you.
I reccommend you speak to the teacher and tell him/her that this is your childs first grade and to refrain from using words like "fast" when your child is completing a task in school as he is not used to this.
Also with the pic in his pocket of you, i think thats a good idea but try and take it away from him gradually by mid year gr 1, the other kids might tease him for that.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

It really won't take him too long. First grade classrooms do a lot of things that have the kids enteract with eachother. He will make friends! And fast! You might want to think about putting him through soccer or baseball (I think the cut-off for most T-ball teams is 6 years old). That will help him, too. I was homeschooled until 7th grade (middle school) and it really messed me up in the head for a long time. It's good that you are putting him back in the public system now (I'm going to have to grit my teeth with my son because I can't STAND the quality of public education, but it's socially VERY important) ... Anyway, he will be JUST fine =)

Answer 6

You sound like a great Mom. You're on the right path. This is unfamiliar territory for him and he is learning new feelings. Keep talking to him and the teacher so that you can get a clear idea of what is really going on. After being home schooled by Mom that's going to be a hard act to follow...the teacher could be Mary Poppins and he would tell you she's horrible. Keep up the good work it sounds like you're going to have a well adjusted 1st grader before you know it.

Answer 7

First, know that this behavior will subside over time. It may take him a few months to fully adjust, but in the meantime, you may be able to make the transition easier. Your attitude and feelings come across very clearly to your child. He can read your displeasure and most children, wanting to please Mom or Dad will act upon those signals by remaining close. Think of a time when you outwardly displayed your displeasure to someone, did your child go away or become clingy? Most children use distraction (by 'acting out') during those times.



Here are some good books you and your child could read to help him cope with school.

The Berenstain Bears Go to School by Stan and Jan Berenstain. Random House, 1978

Arthur's Teacher Trouble by Marc Brown. Trumpet, 1986

The Day the Teacher Went Bananas by James Howe.
Penguin, 1987

Curious George Goes to School by Margret Rey. Houghton Mifflin, 1989


Good Luck!!!!!

Answer 8

He will soon get used to the teacher and the way things are done. I'm sure he just perceived her as yelling and snatching the papers...he is just not used to this new environment but will adjust. He is making friends and enjoying it otherwise so don't be too concerned. If he does continue to say the teacher is mean, etc. you should book an appointment to talk to the teacher to get her side of the story.

Answer 9

Honestly, he needs to go ahead and get adjusted now. The younger the child the easier it is to adjust. If you wait any longer it would be verrry hard on him to ease back into mainstream life. I understand that you are his mother and want nothing more than to not have to see him hurt however, bad teachers and people telling him he is wrong is a part of life and he may as well go ahead and get used to such things now before he is already set in his ways and cannott handle it. Hope it gets better! Good Luck!

Answer 10

Its hard to let your little one have to deal with life on their own. Perhaps it would help if you talked to his teacher and explained his problems and why he is having some adjustment anxiety. Most good teachers will try to be understanding and take a little extra time and care if they know the whole situation. You are doing the right thing in how you are handling things. With your support, he will eventually settle in and enjoy his school experience.