Adult Women Only Please?

Question

I have been dating this guy for almost a year. I still have a hard time "coming" with him. And the sex with him is now boring for me and has been for a while and I never wanna have sex with him anymore. My question is "Is this normal after a long period of dating someone?" Will it ever get any better? Should I move on to someone else just because the sex isn't any good?

By the way we are both 19.

Thanks for all the answers I really don't have a best one to chose. They were all very helpful. I think I have come to the conclusion that I really don't love him anymore and maybe I was just using the bad sex as an excuse. Alot of the answers got me thinking. Much thanks to all :)

Answer 1

Coming "together" is a very hard thing to do - it looks easy, especially in the movies, however the reality is that it never usually happens often. If he's not making you orgasm, then you have to "show him" - try it alone by yourself and figure out exactly what you like. Then show him - in a nice way so he doesn't get upset. If you're bored, spice things up in the bedroom. Purchase the Carmen Electra striptease/lap dance DVD. I have it, and besides being a really cool workout, you learn some sexy moves for the bedroom!

Answer 2

Don't be so hard on yourself, if your talking about coming at the same time, it's bloody hard, something like 5% of people will be able to do it (those lucky people lol)! Me and my boyfriend are both nearly 19 and going out about a year too (althuugh we've only been having sec for 6 months of it) can't say it's got boring but sometimes it's a bit routine. WE've been using loads of new positions lately which is really fun, try it, whereas before we just doing the me/him on top.

It's normal fo the flame to die down at some point, if you still love him and all that i wouldn't brake up with him, it's not likely to be that much different with other men.
Definately try new positions and stuff, or if your feelnig kinky handcuffs ;p

Good luck... Don't quit yet!

Answer 3

I think you are putting too much emphasis on the physical aspect of the relationship. Do you love him at all? If not, then move on. If you do, then stick it out through the rough times. I am about 15 years older than you. IF you base any relationship on sex, it will fail. Sex is great but it does not keep two people together. If you have what a relationship must have to flourish--ie, trust, honesty, respect, caring, listening, selflessness, then the physical stuff will be there anyway. When all the emotional needs are met, the physcial will fall into place automatically. Sounds like maybe you are ready to move on anyway. You can always find someone to have sex with, but when you find the one person who will take care of you during the really bad times, that is the person you stick it out with , no matter what.

Answer 4

You say you have a hard time coming with him. Was the sex ever any good?

It is normal for attraction to wane after a few months to a year. If its a good match, there will be something more to the relationship at that point, and sexual desire can be renewed if you're both willing to work at it a bit.

But if all you were after was sex, and there's really no other reason to stay, and the sex isn't any good anymore, then it's probably time to move on.

Answer 5

It's normal. But you shouldn't be bored. I'm 24, started when 16 and can count how many times I've orgasmed from sex on one hand. I just can't figure it out yet. You can get "assistance" manually from him, though! Don't be afraid to ask for that, it's only fair!

You really shouldn't be bored unless you are totally not wanting to be with him. What turns you on? Think about all the things that go into it and your relationship. Maybe you don't love him and You feel it when you're intimate.

Answer 6

"Coming" during sex is not necessarily an indicator of whether you should break up with him or not. You need to decide what you are really looking for....sex or a good relationship. At 19 years of age you are probably just getting to know what relationships are like so perhaps you need to both go your separate ways and explore your possibilities more before expecting commitments. As to your question about the boredom during sex, you need to be letting him know what pleases you and listening to what pleases him. Trying new things helps to renew the feelings of excitement about one another.

Answer 7

I've been married for 22 years and its not got boring yet. You need to spice things up a bit. Experiment and try new things. Tell him what you like. I'm sure he's not a mind reader. You'd get fed up with chocolate flake if you had it for your packed lunch every day. Try something new girl, or is it that you just don't fancy him anymore? ;-) Go to the nearest adult store and invest in some toys and a few naughty undies and stuff. See if that moves things on a bit.

Answer 8

If you really care about him, it shouldn't matter too much. Try mixing things up a little bit. Also, try reading "You're just not that into him, either." If you're willing to dump him because of the bad sex, then there may be some underlying issues in your relationship...don't get me wrong, good sex is a big issue in relationships, but being bored is a different story.

Answer 9

You don't have to move to someone else if he is open minded. Look at alternatives to the usual. Maybe for example where you are having sex! Take some chances! Try out some public restrooms. Then when you have a normal lovemaking night it could get you excited just thinking of it!!

Answer 10

You are only 19, find someone else if you dont like having sex with him. sadly it is an important part of a relationship. but yeah i do sometimes get sick of sex, it is just sometimes boring. but that is when you have to put the spark back into things! try and tell him you want to do something different and see if the sparks fly then!