We've been freinds for close to 15 years. I love her and her little girl to death but her daughter is undisiplined and mean. Just one example: I watched her the other day and she yanked a toy out of my two year olds' hand. I told her she could havethe toy in a minute it was Ms' turn. Then I gave the toy back. D smacked me in the face ( I was kneeling next to her.) She tried to amck me again but I caught her arm and told her no, we don't smack. She yelled you no tell me no, ran off, slammed a door, and started to kick me wall. D is only 2,. I've seen her hit heer older sister (freinds' step daughter) and pull her hair. My older two (6 and 5) have told me they don't like her around because she is mean. Ds' mom laughs it off and says she is just a baby. I don't know what to do. I know my kids aren't perfect and have ther moments but they have never been like this. My freind really needs a babysitter and has no family to watch her and can't afford daycare.
2007-11-28 00:05:22 · 15 answers · asked by butterfly10526 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
tell her an emergency came up. maybe if enough people refuse to watch the child she'll figure it out. actually you should be honest with her.she might not be your friend for a while but then she will notice her childs behavior more.
2007-11-28 00:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 2 year old is not really old enough to be mean on purpose, it's likely that she's picked up that behavior as a way to defend herself, from what I don't know, but a 2 year old doing that is mimicking something she has seen most likely...my friend has a son who was hitting and was really angry at that age, and it was because his older brother was always picking on him. Anyway, since it is affecting your kids, you could just say that the kids don't seem to get along well when she is over, and that it would be better for everyone probably if she was able to find somewhere else to take her. If she's a close friend her feelings will probably be hurt no matter what, but if there's really no way to make it work, then you still need to tell her. there isn't any way around that. If you really want to keep her as a freind just try not to sound like you are putting all the blame on her daughter because that will make her feel defensive. Good luck.
2007-11-28 08:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by lipstickcloud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a difficult situation...
It is a common thing for parents to laugh it off when people say their children are disruptive, rude and offensive. My Mum's best friend is just like that.
They don't want to accept that they've done something wrong with their kids.
Keep telling her that she feels her daughter is a terrible young girl and needs to be disciplined. If she doesn't comply, you've GOT to tell her no. The inconveniece of this would cause her to think about it. I don't think she has the motivation to re-think her parenting skills because she can take advatnage of you caring for her child.
I know it's tempting, but do not hurt or scold the child, it could cause legal issues...
Try disciplining her yourself. If she is rude, hits people or is ignoring you, but her on the stairs and tell her to sit there for 2 minutes. Then ignore her, I stress this, she will be begging for attention, just ignore her, and when she comes to you ignore her. Play with your kids and show her that only good children get attention and love.
The chances are she is being ignored elsewhere and just wants to be loved, so when she is good, play with her, make her feel loved and she will realise what she's doing wrong.
Tell your friend to give her a smack on the wrist if she hits someone, just so she knows what it feels like. I know so many people say this is wrong but it never hurt a child. It just teaches children what is right and wrong. It doesn't need to leave a bruise or anything, that would mean it was a bit hard. Just enough to make them learn.
2007-11-28 08:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by Gnotknormal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to make the kid sound like a demon child from hell BUT from what i know about daycares they will not accept kids that hit or hurt other kids. They get the boot. So maybe if you mention this to your friend and let her know you do not let your own kids slap you in the face and you sure don't want hers doing it. It sets a bad example for your kids no matter the age difference. We have a 2 year old as well, a 3 year old and NEITHER of them have done this. But they are well behaved and we treat them likes toddlers, not babies. If she want s to continue having you watch the child I'd suggest sitting her down and even telling her that your girls are pickin gup on the negative "energy" from her child. Your kids are asking you why that kid can slap you in the face and they can't.
I'm sure you don't let your kids kick walls either. Something does need to be done, I agree. Are you allowed to discipline her at all? can you just hold her until she stops but keep her from hurting you?
2007-11-28 08:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by Alpha Female 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but your children are suffering at the hands of this little monster.Tell the mum everything you said on here, and say as much as you love her and her daughter, she is disrupting the whole day. Its better to be open and do it before something worse happens! If you fall out over it then so be it. If you expect your children to behave why should this child spoil it all. If the mother gets upset, then just tell her that its your home and at the end of the day your children will come first, she would do the same for her child wouldn't she? So don't feel guilty. You might not like doing it but do whats right for your family.
2007-11-28 08:12:18 · answer #5 · answered by tedrfandthedog 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You may end up falling out with your friend over this because most parents think their children are perfect & can do no wrong. You need to take the risk & be perfectly blunt & honest with her. Tell her you can't cope with her daughter because you are not used to dealing with that sort of behaviour. As for child care arrangements, you sort yours & let her sort hers, her finances are not your problem. It seems harsh but you need to do what is best for your own children, they are more important than any friendship.
2007-11-28 09:07:32 · answer #6 · answered by stumpymosha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it down to her, tell her how unruly her daughter is being...help her find a good low-cost babysitter or tell her she needs to teach her child disicipline! If she doesn't, her child will always act this way towards everyone and do it everywhere she goes...Her child shouldn't behave in this manner..even if she is only two.
2007-11-28 08:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by La maravilla Life* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit her down and talk to her about it. tell her that if you continue to watch her, there are going to have to be some changes in her behavior. no matter how old she is, there is no excuse for smacking and pulling hair. this 2 yr old is milkin her mother for everything she's got. she knows what she's doing. do not jeopardize your home, and your beliefs as a mother. just tell her as gently as you can. nobody likes to hear that their child is a spoiled brat, so try to break it to her gently
2007-11-28 08:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by Jada and Ty's mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want this brat influencing your kids? Your kids are the priority here. Tell your friend you will only help her in an extreme emergency and not to rely on you for daily care of her hellion.
2007-11-28 13:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by treehugger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By being frank and honest with her. Tell her directly - and caringly.
If you have been friends for close to 15 years, then why can't you open up to her? Or are you really a "friend" to her?
2007-11-28 08:18:05 · answer #10 · answered by Aristotle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋