can you love two poeple at the same time?

Question

especially in islam where some men get married more then once views and thoughts please

no crap off poeple ifyou got nothing decent to say dont bother wasting yyour time typing

i know my spellin and typing is awful

when i say two ppl i m ean in the sense of maybe two wives or a man loving two partners etc or a woman loving two men


william d :im not thick i do know that you love your kids parents etc im not asking in that sense

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071128051217AAzASQE&r=w

Answer 1

Wow! I really didn't expect this question. A good one. Personally, I'm not capable of that. When I love a man, I'm his and his only and I expect him to be mine - period. My soul is of too jealous a nature to handle the though of him touching another woman in sensual sense, let alone living with us both ~shudders~

But, I do acknowledge that it's possible (since I've heard and read about it) to achieve some kind of harmony in polygamous relationships. I don't know about you, but to me it's like throwing left-overs to me and to that other woman, as a matter of fact. Just imagine - I would be jealous, she would be jealous, a man would be either torn apart between the two of us or he would be some selfish pig who would beam over having two hot chicks in his bed. I'm inclined to believe it's the second one - no offence to men on Answers :)

Answer 2

I think it is probably possible to love more than one person in an erotic sense, and even be married to more than one person at a time, leaving aside legal difficulties. Whether is really works out in a harmonious sense, long term I don't know. In the 1960's communities experimented with "free love" - not fixating on just one partner, but people tended to be monagamous anyway. It probably has a lot to do with general views on partnership/marriage, and expectations brought along.

Answer 3

Yes you can.

But it becomes complicated. Just as does loving one person!

I love my partner, my son, my parents, my family, my ex-lovers etc. it doesn't mean I can spend equal time with them all. That is not the way modern society is set up.

We love different people in subtly different ways. There is much made of 'one great love', but in all honesty, once you find out that love is only limited by the ability to love within a social framework, you need to concentrate on the important part of making a relationship work. Which takes way more than love. It takes hard work.

Check out these dudes:

http://www.amazon-indians.org/matses/22-Rio-Galvez-Matses-Family-174.htm

millions of those very smiles were struck off the face of the Earth by God's warriors, Columbus, the Conquistadors, etc who came, raped, butchered, enslaved and pillaged and finally forced them to live separately in 'Christian' pairs.

Answer 4

Yes you can love more than one at a time. Is it the right thing for most people to do? I don't think so. Even according to the Quran it says it is difficult to be JUST with more than one. That is why Allah said in the book:

Marry women of your choice, two or three or four; if you fear you will not deal justly with them then only one...
Al Nisa 4:3

it also says

Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a women) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air) If ye mend your ways and PRACTICE SELF RESTRAINT, Allah is most forgiving most merciful.
Al Nisa 4:129

So even the book says you can love more than one but the question becomes in what ways do you love more than one? Can love be just if you love two people two different ways? How does one keep from favoring one over the other? Love is different between every two people. Personally I believe that it is impossible to keep from favoring one
over the other(s). So I feel it is better to be with just one...

There is also a hadith about having more than one wife...

"He who acquires two wives and does not treat them both equally (or justly), on the Day of Judgement (such a husband) will appear with a slanted (paralyzed) side (of both of his sides: right or left)"

I would think to be able to love (in a marriage) more than one person would be a terribly difficult thing to do. There is a lot of hurt involved due to injustice, and who would want to hurt one (or 2 or 3 or 4) they loved? It takes very special people to have this kind of arrangement. I can assure you I am not special enough and my husband admits he doesn't want to go before Allah paralyzed.

Answer 5

As salaau 'alaikym, my freind.

Insha'Allah, that would depend upon one's definition of love.

Do you mean the "romantic" love we often have seen protrayed in movies, music and poetry where the stars dim in comparision to one's "beloved", etc. and where one pledges to die rather than to live without the other?
Such an ideal is a false reality and conception of what love entials.

If you are referring to real love, a love that accepts the person for whom he or she truly is while supporting their positive growth (spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically), one that understands and realizes that change is a natural process and outcome of such growth; a love that accepts that such changes will also occur within one's self and should be expected as part of loving another and one's self then, yes I would say it is possible to love more than one person.. However, this also should be seen as having varying or different levels of love which could be involved.
One should take into careful consideration the injunction found in Islam that forbids a man from having two or more wives unless he can treat and deal with them all on an equal basis. This would imply and demand no favoritism or partiality towards one or another and such could be very difficult to live in reality as opposed to the idealization of the same.

A woman loving two men in such a manner may be possible if and only if one such love is purely platonic. The same would also have to kept within the guidelines of Islamic practices (i.e., never meeting alone with a man whom one might marry , that is a non-relative, without accompaniment of an appropriate chaperone as well as with the consent of one's husband, etc.)

Ma'a salaam.

Answer 6

It is true that Muslim's can be permitted to marry more than once without getting divorced, but this is only in unusual situations and often the first wife will help pick out the second wife.

I personally don't believe that a person can honestly truly love two people at the same time. For me there is only one person for another.

Answer 7

He could love both of them, but in my opinion I do not think anyone can truly be in love with two people at the same time.

I do not think it is right to marry someone if you are in love with someone else, nor do I think it's right to marry someone if you are not in love.

I don't think such a relationship is fair especially for the wives. Marriage should be a bond between two people dedicated and faithful to each other. If someone has multiple marriage partners they are being unfaithful to all their partners.

Answer 8

I have to disagree with Hector - loving more than one person isn't disloyal.

I am assuming you are refering to romantic love and not the love you have for friends and family.

If you're lucky enough to find more than one person to love then it's possible. Whether or not you act on it or be with both these people is an entirely different story.

I know of people in polyamourous relationships who love eachother dearly and it works - there's 3 of them but with trust and good communication, the relationship works better than a lot of monogomas relationships.

Answer 9

There is love and there is compromize

Sometimes compromize is important than love and sometimes love

People in Islam usually spend lives on compromizes. but, to pin pointly answer u.........NO

There is one heart and one heart can love just one and how to MEASURE true love.

Well the scale is "Sacrifice & Unintentional thoughts". U love the thing/person whose thoughts come to ur mind unintentionally whether it be money/woman/wealth etc.

and secondly when u sacrifice ur own desires for a person u love that person.


Thanx
(i ve a vacant heart 2.......lolz)

Answer 10

A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.

After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.

Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.

I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.

I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.

If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.

I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.

Love and blessings

Your brother
don

Answer 11

Personally I don't think so, not deep emotional love, the love that let's you see no other person.
But I could have a relation with more than one, and If I was a Muslim, I could imagine myself married to 4 women, but only one will be the one for me, the others I could respect, desire, enjoy, like, but I will not feel myself lost without her.
come to think of it, one love like that is almost too much, but I wish I had one soul burning love for as long as I live.