I will try to make it simple:
I met this guy from India on internet 8 years ago, and since then, we kept talking.1 year ago, he asked me if i could ever be interested on a more serious relation, and i was so happy when i heard that, because among all people and boys i have met, he seemed the best for me, because our personalities were very much the same.
We met, he came here in my country, and we like eachother a lot!
And then, he asked me to marry, and i was so so so happy and immediately said yes. I was the happiest and luckiest girl in the word!!!
But, parents matter appeared, and they opposed so much, they hurt me extremely much. They opposed from first, said that, i should never go and live in India, because i'll not be happy. They have insulted me, pressured me to date other people, verbally, emotionally abused, and even hit me once.
I want to live with him in India, i love that country, i love the people, everything.
I'm from europe.
what to do?i'm in my early 20s
2007-11-27 22:55:19 · 12 answers · asked by Isis I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
((Isis)) abuse of any form is painful and being torn in your decisions of love and family are truly a distressing enough...unfortunately though being done very badly out of desperation ...I believe they are only trying to get you to do the right thing...and they believe its theirs...It however ...is NOT...
ultimately the decision is yours and this young mans...your happiness and love...
parents have a key role in our lives to love ..nurture and raise us...we as parents often times forget the life we created is not ours to live...though the love should be unconditional and never ending...it should be never used ,rejected or withdrawn because decisions do not meet our standard and most definitely not for ones choice of love...
you sound like a sensible young lady ..torn between two loves...your future happiness and your parents...again your parents will not be the one living YOUR life and hopefully be able to come to terms with your decision and wish you the very best...no matter what you decide...understand I nor anyone can make that decision for you...
the best thing we can do ...is offer you suggestions and support in our advice...mine is to do what you think is what's best for you and your future ...though you will be making mistakes I hope none are irreversible and few but hold no regret !!
keep in mind parents need support,love and understanding too...help yours ...live your life happily and lovingly...show them they did the very best job raising their precious love...that would be you babe...
love is a blissful thing and true love is often sought though sadly rarely found...divorce courts and graveyards are full of past failures and horror stories of people running from or desperately looking for it...if you believe you have found yours let no person sway you from it....if however you have doubts and fears of your choice....that's you inner voice telling you to wait a while longer...you are young ...make your decision with love and NEVER let any form of abuse and or badgering deter you from making it...the best this you can do is sit them down and loving ask them ..."do you believe you did a good job raising me...teaching me I am a good person and make good decisions? can you trust this choice I make now to be the very best for me ?" ask it tenderly and kind and the response may be your answer you seek...best of love and luck to ya sugar...I know you'll do the right thing ...if you got a smile doing it ...it right for everyone involved!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
2007-11-27 23:47:16 · answer #1 · answered by d j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you realize how women are treated by their husbands in India. They do not have the same rights and privileges as in other countries. Also, if you ever had children, and wanted to split from your husband, he would have the right to the children!!
Study the culture before you make that decision. It is one that should not be made frivilously or in a rush!!!
2007-11-28 07:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 20, your old enough to make your own decssions, altho family if for life.. If your not happy with them, then go make a new life with someone you love and they love you...
Love isnt the easiest thing to find in this world, but some people are lucky enough to have it..
If you dont, then you may regret it for the rest of your life...
Go for it and Good Luck!
2007-11-28 06:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by Inquiring Mind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off heres a guys point of view...truely if he loved you...then he would find a way to be with you...if you loved him...you would worry ONLY to an extent on what other people think of you two...enlighten me on why women always have to pack up their life to be with someone...just a thought...
2nd thought...your family is your family...theyll be there for you no matter what they say...just as you would for them....thats what love is...itll be hard, but you always go for whats in your heart...itll never steer you wrong...just misguide you here and there!!!
2007-11-28 07:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by JON M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i don't think u know this guy well enough...u need to get to know him better...don't be in such a hurry...im sorry but i don't think the internet is very reliable....if u still like him after u get to know him better...then i say tie the knot..come off to India it is a great place...but then even ur parents are right u know u can't jus change societies jus like that it will be a very dramatic change...
2007-11-28 07:01:44 · answer #5 · answered by cutie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my country one would ask you, are your parents going to marry you, and continually make you happy?
well that just serves to remind you that your own happiness lies in your hands. sometimes its difficult doing what we know is right because so many people for fear of the unknown oppose us.
i saw go with your heart, and stick with it.
2007-11-28 07:20:34 · answer #6 · answered by damien 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young.....your parents concerns are genuine. Go with your heart, but understand no one is to blame for your choices. What your parents have done to you is wrong, and they are only going to turn you away more. But Be careful.
2007-11-28 07:00:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to know india laws and ''WAYS'',,,you are old enuff,,but just take your parents concerns into some consideration,,your mom gave birth to you and your father helped raise you (quite well),,,take how well you know him and how well you know them,,,their concern is ''genuine''....i had a friend,,she shoulda made sure first....now ,,he rules,,india way of life,,,european way life,,2 diff' ways of life....
2007-11-28 07:13:41 · answer #8 · answered by barp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents don't know everything follow your heart.Don't miss your chance for true love.
2007-11-28 07:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by kookski4639 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
true love cast out all fear!!
do you really love this guy? than why are your surrounding influencing you? empathy, ewww.... i control my own life not my parents, i love my mates, my family, my country! who do you cherish first in your life, priorities in life as i call it?!
2007-11-28 07:14:08 · answer #10 · answered by Typical-1981 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋