my best friend of 7 years has joined a christian church in the last 6 months and she starts to avoid me and others. She said that she feels bad about her 'sinner' past, ie flirting with guys, have pre-marital sex etc, she also said that God has helped her getting over a very difficult breakup with her ex, she is now different person. I was really close to her but now she doesn't even want to talk to any of us, we are both 27 years old, what should I do to get her back?
2007-11-27 22:21:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'm afraid she has surrendered her logic and reasoning.The best thing you can do is let her get on with it and hope some of it returns with the fullness of time.
2007-11-27 22:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Cotton Wool Ninja 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I've had this happen to me, though I was friends with her for about 4 yrs when it happened. There's nothing you can do, really, to "get her back". Let it go. In most cases they get tired of seeing the hypocracy around them and realize that the "Religious" factor of that religion isn't all it's cracked up to be. My friend does come around now and we have talked about what happened... she said she felt stupid for allowing total strangers to talk her into mistrusting people she knew for years (which is what happens in a lot of these churches).
People change and sometimes not for the better. Just because she joined a church doesn't mean she "grew up" (now that is silly to even assume that) and it doesn't mean she's gone forever. But you will have to let it go and let her deal with this on her own.
2007-11-27 23:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by River 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has been snapped up by the Cult. There is very little that you can do to get her back as long as she is brainwashed. I am sorry that you lost your friend. It is really sad that she feels she cannot remain friends with you sI'mply because you do not agree with her Dogma. This is however a classic move by a Cult. They cut you off from those you love and those who have your best interested at heart in order to have an easier time indoctrinating you. Not that it is likely to do much good but you could download and print or get a Book on Cults and the common ways that they enslave the minds of their adherents. Get her to read it. I doubt she will as she has been told that she must divest herself of her "evil" past and surround herself with "holy" people. Once again im sorry for your loss and hopefully she will wake up and realized that she has been indoctrinated at some point.
2007-11-27 22:29:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
it's called growing. when i was single, i had fun with my single friends, and not such a great time with my married friends. when i got married, the opposite was true. we want to be around people who share our values and beliefs.
i have to admit, it makes me a bit upset to read some of the comments in here. because when i became a christian, i took it seriously, i was a true devout follower. in that period, it really opened my eyes, and i saw the world differently, and saw how the secular world itself, "brainwashes" people. i would have never seen that had i not became a christain. although i am agnostic now, i still carry with me those values and experiences i have learned. athiests are the close minded people. who cares if religion is fake, if it makes you a better person, more power to you. everyone has their own way of dealing with life, religion is one of those.
but i'm sure when you were younger, you had friends that you grew apart from. that's all this is. i've been in her shoes, and i want you to know this is nothing personal. the problem is, you are living the same life, and she is want to live something different. theres a reason i don't hang out with athiests. whether a person is right or wrong, they want to be around people who respect and share their ideas. you don't fit that build. nobody wants to be angry or depressed all the time, but if you hang out with those kind of people long enough, you become like them to some extent. she feels that way about you. she wants to live a certain lifestyle, if she hangs out with you, you are putting her in a position where it's easier for her to go against what she tries so hard not to do.
it hurts to lose a good friend. but i know you will find someone who will also take a special place in your heart that will share your lifestyle, desires, and philosophies. we must understand that people will never be in our lives forever. our job is to take the good things they have given us, and use them or give them to other people like they have done to us.
the best thing you can do to still be part of her life is support her in her transformation.
2007-11-27 22:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by Joshua's Dhrama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you or your friends are living the kind of life that she no longer wants to live it makes it difficult on that relationship. There is probably a desire to talk to those people but not the desire to be a part of the same lifestyle especially early on.
A comparable situation: I work with teens in a substance abuse program. These kids are here because they need to clean up their lives. If they go back to the same situation with the same friends they will go back to their using quickly. They need time to grow mature, develop coping skills etc. before they should even think about being around old using friends for any reason.
Back to your situation. Sounds like she is in the middle of some healing from past stuff and being around all of the things that were part of it make it too hard to deal with it right now. If there are changes she is wanting to make in her life you should support it, if you're wanting to continue the relationship. Everybody's life goes through changes and friend networks change as well. No doubt there are people you have lost contact with for whatever reasons and this is no exception. If you are wanting to be a part of her life you might have to make changes to make that happen, starting with accepting what changes she wants for herself. You wanting her back for yourself comes across as selfish, you wanting to be a part of her life is different. Sounds though like you want her back in your life.
2007-11-27 22:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by Kuulio 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so sad :(
Maybe you should try talking to her, and ask her what is the actual reason she is avoiding you?
But if she seriously abandoned all her friends whom she's known for years, she needs some help. Because if we don't have friends in this world we are very poor people.
I mean yes she might have changed her moral outlook on life, but that's no reason to break all contact with people who were there for you when you needed them in the past.
I mean I am Christian and I have many friends who are of different religions from my own (including atheists), but we just respect each other's beliefs, and the fact that we simply have different beliefs does not prevent us from having friendship.
2007-11-27 22:27:22 · answer #6 · answered by . 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I became a born again christian , I stopped doing drugs and my so called friends Stopped calling me ! We are to stay away from influences that will side track us . 1 John 2:15
2007-11-28 00:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she continues to be your pal and if she may well be prepared to chat issues via with you. it variety of feels to me that any one who's prepared to offer up their existence through fact they pass to church is lost. no one would desire to would desire to % between church and acquaintances. it variety of feels she replaced into no longer an exceedingly pal to basically enable all of it pass. do no longer fake something. If she would manage to't settle on your friendship as is, it is greater helpful to enable her pass.
2016-09-30 06:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by nason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
join the church... you might like it
2007-11-27 23:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just gave evidence of God. It will be denied as such, but it is real.
She has changed her life. Why should you want to change it back? She could do that on her own at any time.
2007-11-27 22:27:30 · answer #10 · answered by sympleesymple 5 · 1⤊ 7⤋