How do militarygf's/wives cope w/longdistancerelationship?How do soldiers men relate to such relationships?

Question

Hi all.
I have a boyfriend who is stationed ~ 1025 miles away. I am like going crazy since he also is my bestfriend. I send and receive letters and pictures. I text message him during the week hoping that he will call me on Sundays.
I tried to keep myself busy with college, job, and tutoring. But it seems that those options can't keep me busy enough.
When he doesn't call me on Sunday, I'd go crazy. Like, " Why he didn't call me? I'm done and over it." Sometimes, I feel like letting him go, maybe this is our separate ways, it's hard to be on such long distance relationship.But sometimes, I also think it is selfish of me to even say or think that way since he always be there for me.
Also, he will be deployed in March/ April for 15 months. My head feels like it's about to burst. I don't know as to what to do and how to deal with all these dramas.
I am not interested into joining support groups because I feel that it will be more frustating because I have to think, talk about him

How do girlfriends and wives make it work? Any suggestion from military men will be appreciated.

Answer 1

If you can't deal with the lack of communication now: just end it. Long distance relationships just suck (from experience). If you're willing to suck up a lot of bs, go for it. If not, go your seperate ways....

Answer 2

Knowing from experience, as a fellow Marine I know what it's like to be on the other end of a long distance relationship. If at all possible, he is stationed in a liberty country than he should find the time, meaning within a time span of at least a half hour of his weekend days to call his "girl" in this case you. I could never call my girlfriend, now my wife, back then during the weekdays because of the 1025 mile time zone difference conflicting with working hours and no cell phone coverage so that's something to factor in also as I'm sure hes told you. Military life is busy, but unless hes in the Suk, Sandbox, or the Rack he should find that time the same as if being told to paint the moon red I'm sure as a soldier, sailor, airmen or marine if given the task he would dam well figure out a way to paint that moon red (metaphorically speaking)...let alone call or write at the least, if he truly does want to hear from you as much as you do him that is. In my opinion if the question is there this early in his enlistment/ relationship, then only you can answer it however you choose to. But be fair to yourself and most importantly each other...Good Luck.

Answer 3

I totally agree with a lot of the other answers you have gotten! We don't know how we do it..we just do. It takes a great amount of independence, patience, maturity and most of all love. I actually have had people tell me "Well you chose that life or you don't have to wait" Unbelievable...I answer with I chose to love this man so I can bear just about anything.
You sound very torn on whether this is right for you..It doesn't get any easier only harder. You need to search your soul and heart and decide if you are strong enough for this. It is easier said then done. I will toot all military spouses horns and say we are a special bunch!! LOL Not just anyone can do this..which attributes to the high divorce rate. Please think long and hard if this is the life for you...
You are thinking and talking about him anyway so with a support group you would just have more people in your shoes to talk to...
I wish you luck!!
Proud Army Wife!!! HOOAH!!

Answer 4

I am an armywife who has been through alot of seperations. I can't give you a 100% answer on how we do it.. We just do. I am very commited to my husband and his career and im not going to let the seperations seperate us. Maybe thats my drive. As a military spouse you have to be very selfless, patient, independant and supportive. You need to ask yourself the question. Can I do this long term. I am not saying that is always an easy thing to do. Everyone is going to have bad days when you question ..is this really worth it. To me it is. And you say you dont want to join any groups. Thats ok but if you did everyone else ( for the most part) will be in your situation. You will learn their secrets to success in this way of life and possibly give your secrets how you made it through a bad day. If at all possible try to focus on anything positive of him joining the military. Life isnt easy whether your military or not so you need to make some decisions and dont drag him along. If you set your mind to doing something you can achieve it.

Answer 5

lovng a service member is never easy...you're on the right path by keeping yourself busy...but honestly there is going to be times when you just find yourself sitting at home wishing you could hear his voice or feel his arms around you and those are the moments that just make you want to cry and it's ok to cry we've all done it at one time or another...don't let the separation destroy your relationship..it's a temporary thing that you can get over.

joining a support group would be good for you...you need someone else that understands what your feeling and going thru...civilian friends are wonderful people but they don't really understand at times how lonely you can feel or the feeling of dread everytime something happens to a service member overseas...you don't have to talk about your boyfriend all the time but you can bond with women that have done this before or those that are doing this for the first time...give it a chance...

and remember you're not alone being an army wife i've gone thru serveral deployments and it's never gets any easier but you can get thru it..and if you need someone to talk to send me an email...

Answer 6

With much prayer, tears and sucking it up! Do you love the man?! That's the bottom line if you do then you will walk as far as it takes to be together. As long as it takes!
As a military girlfriend/spouse you have to beleive that your service man is worth it and that you have a part in what he does. That your sacrifices are just as important as his even when everyone around you tells you they aren't or when everything looks bleak.
Support groups are there for a reason and you don't just sit around and talk about your signifigant other! Yes a lot revolves around them but you can still volunteer, work, etc. Help others! Well the life may be dramatic but it's certainly never boring!
check out http://www.myarmylifetoo.com
http://www.militaryonesource.com
http://www.militarywives.com
There is also support and Bible studies to help at http://www.pwoconline.org

Answer 7

definite, this form of courting is conceivable, because of the fact i've got experienced it. I gave examples decrease than, the brother/sister chum is the 1st occasion. on an identical time, there'll consistently be some form of sexual/love techniques floating around, regardless of in the event that they in no way appear outdoors of one's own techniques. you prefer to comprehend journey, so right here is mine. I bear in techniques one male chum I had whilst i replace into an adolescent. I in no way had any pastime in this guy, he replace right into a very advantageous guy or woman, smart, friendly, and humorous. I knew him for roughly 2 years, so the sole time we had replace into to enhance a brother/sister courting. Had we trouble-free one yet another for longer, consistent with risk different issues might desire to have progressed. you spot, with each and every close male chum i've got ever had, there has been some sexual rigidity to a minimum of one degree or yet another. there is one i comprehend, and we've in no way finished something actual, yet we did like one yet another very lots at one time, and have been pondering courtship, yet we did not try this for the period of spite of everything. I fell in love with him on the time, and it replace into organic love because of the fact it did not sprout from any actual touch, no. because of the fact then, i've got had different male hobbies and he's now married with little ones, however the fact is that I in no way fell with him. I nonetheless have emotions for him, yet i don't tell him. I admire his marriage and family. As for the different close male pals i've got had, some I even have kissed, and with others it replace into extra suitable than kissing. that's some thing i'm not pleased with, and alhamdulillah i finished this habit 14 years in the past. i will in no way return to that, that is shameful. If i'm not on the factor of a male, and we are purely pals, then no, there is not any sexual rigidity.