Is it okay for girls to tell guys how they feel towards them.Or is it too degrading for girls..?

Question

I mean where I'm from.If you tell a guy how you feel,you're desperate.They say you should wait for the guy to come and talk to you and tell you how HE feels.
What if he's too shy to do that?

Answer 1

You know what? Do whatever you think is most fitting to you. If you like a guy and want something to happen, and don't care what other people think, go for it. This is about your happiness with another person. It isn't about what other people think about you. If it is meant to be, then it is meant to be. If it's not, it's not. Are you going to just let people dictate how you run your life?

If you aren't comfortable with being yourself yet, then I guess you're stuck with waiting for an answer that may never come. Some people are just too old fashioned and don't understand that when you want somebody, you want somebody.

Then again, if he's too shy, it could hinder his self-confidence if you ask him out instead of it being him. <_< just a thought.

Answer 2

Wow, that's a first. You're the first black girl i've heard having this kind of point of view. Don't worry, I don't think your a self hater at all...i think the opposite. You're a very cultured and open minded person who refuses to accept stereotypical limitations. Personally, i've dated a lot outside of my race and its not because its on purpose, it's just that in where I lived and from my experience, girls from other races are more open minded. It's awesome to know that there is an exception. I've always wondered if there were any girls like you out there. To me, it only benefits a person dating someone from another race because you can learn things that you would never have. I never understood how some black guys could be hypocritical like that either...i mean, why is it okay for us to date outside our race but not women of our same color? I love seeing interracial couples together as well. I actually saw a black girl and an asian guy together the other day...first time seeing that one lol. Keep that good head on your shoulders. We need more open minded people like you, especially in our race.

Answer 3

Guys have a hard time with emotional language, so I wouldn't wait eternity for him to express how he felt. If he *really* felt strongly for you though, he would have already told you some how or expressed it in some form. For us girls, we say "I really like you/I have feelings for you and I'd like us to be more than friensd" but guys speak by giving you a rose, holding your hand, looking at you in a certain way, taking you on a date, etc. We communicate mostly by words, but guys do through touch/actions. So watch for those.

There is a huge difference between desperation and expression. Being desperate is throwing yourself at a guy because you're so co-dependent, and your actions would show. Being expressive is telling a guy your feelings and desires, all while knowing that even if he doesn't share the same feelings, you will eventually heal from any rejection and move on.

If women waited for a guy to tell them how they felt, the rate of marriage would be a nil 10% of the population :P

Answer 4

WTF?

Seriously, I'm tired of this crap. If you want to tell someone how you feel about them, then just do it! It doesn't matter what age, race, color, sex, or religion you are!

And what of "gender equality?" If women are entitled to all the same rights and opportunities as men (which I believe they are), are they also not entitled to all the same responsibilities? It irritates me when I know a women feels a certain way but she won't say it because I'm supposed to "say it first."

One last thing... How can being open and honest with yourself and others be degrading to you? If anyone has a problem with you telling a man how you feel, tell them to get a life and mind their own business.

Answer 5

To save face, you have to joke around a little and tell the guy in a half-joking way that you like him. This way, if things go bad for you. Then you can deny it all and say that you were only joking with him.

And you are right that some guys have a lot of difficulty making friends with girls. Some of them simply won't try because they are too shy.

Answer 6

telling a guy whats up is not desperate, and the people that say that are insecure people.

If you approach a guy it makes you look confident and willing to go for what you want.

Why should we wait around for a man to do everything? If we did that we still wouldn't be able to vote, and african american people would still be sitting at the back of the bus.

Answer 7

Girls are not desprate because they tell a guy how they feel. They are confident. Be a independant confidant women. Tell men how you feel...don't sit around and wait for them to fart around a little more...some guys just don't have the confidence or are insecure...scared to be rejected. Stand tall tell it how it is :)

Answer 8

i wouldn't do its not necessarily degrading only if u tell an asshole whose goin to tell everyone and make a fool out of u,some guys just aren't mature so be careful,only if u can handle whatever reaction ur gonna get back

Answer 9

It is more degrading to sell ones self short on basis of sex. If you like him, you think he likes you, speak up. At least you tried. Desperate is calling his Mom and begging her to help get him to date you. Asking him a simple question is far easier than suffering in silence.

Answer 10

i dont think it makes them desperate at all! it makes them seem like they have guts, and like you actually, not as if the guy asked the girl out, in which case the girl might lie just to not hurt his feelings. so yeah! its not degrading! go for it =)