Best to wait until marriage?

Question

I've been in a relationship for the past two years; we live together. I'm 23, he's 25. Same old story, sex has dwindled off to the point that it's less than once a month these days... and it's both of our faults. Now that the relationship has gone stale, I'm contemplating future choices. What do you think - - is it best to wait until marriage? Or at least until engagement? Interested to hear both males' and females' responses. Thanks in advance... :-)

Sorry for the confusion - - I mean in future relationships. I'm aware that this one is past the point of any return.

I'm sorry, I guess I haven't clarified very well. My question is about any future relationships I might have, not the current one I'm in. As an aside, however, to those caught up with my current sex life, please believe me when I say that I am a very attractive young woman, have worn lingerie, brought toys in, and done other things to... spice things up. He's the one who, for lack of better term, has lost interest. I was being diplomatic when I said it was both our faults.

Answer 1

Once you begin having sex outside of marriage, it is difficult to stop. It's like trying to unscramble an egg.
I believe it is always more appropriate to wait until after the marriage ceremony to begin sexual relations. It establishes a lot of trust between you; especially the husband to be. Which will be very important in the years ahead. I would not want to become pregnant b/f marriage or get a STD.
When a couple insists on a premature beginning for sexual intercourse, their interpersonal communications tends to slack off. Ironically, in their coming together sexually, the couple may lose the very thing they really wanted. . .intimacy and companionship.

Answer 2

Interesting question. I'm not sure that it always has to dwindle, although in my experience, it does. Sex is exciting at first, then the true emotional love and tenderness is wonderful, soon the lovemaking grows shorter because you know each other so well. Soon enough, sex becomes a way to get what you want, to use to spite, then to with hold as punishment, then you lose interest. My advice on the subject is two fold. First, do your best to keep the sex as just that, and the lovemaking as just that. Keep the sex inventive and fun. Share fantasies. Love with tenderness and truth. Then, realize that there is more to making love or having sex in a relationship. My final piece of advice is never use sex as a weapon.

Answer 3

I do believe it is best to wait until marriage for sex. There are many positives:

1. If you do break up with someone - you can get over it quicker because you've not bonded physically with them.
2. It keeps your head clear - so you can see the relationship with clear eyes.
3. It usually speeds up a marriage proposal because it will be an incentive.
4. No fear of STDs, pregnancy ...

You'll date less because a lot of guys will not want to pursue you if they realize that they won't "get any." But ... the guys you date will be higher quality and will truly be interested in you. Plus he'll appreciate you more if you don't give yourself away too easily.

Answer 4

if you think that just because the "sparks" are gone that the relation is over your wrong. thats when you grow up and start to really have a relationship. do you really believe that 20 years from now you'll have sparks? are you gonna trade in your man every few years just to keep yourself exited? you may not be ready for marriage but you're already in a marriage type of situation, and now your talking about starting over(insert the D-word here) just cause there's no zip? Grow up and fix it! you'll be glad that you've done a mature thing, instead of just making yourself happy

Answer 5

If you both agree on doing it before marriage, then go for it. You guys are responsible adults and can make your own decisions. If both of you stick strongly to your values, then stick to them. If he's pressuring you for sex, don't give it up if you feel that you are being forced against your will. Don't think that having sex before marriage will save the relationship. Relationships shouldn't be based on sex only. The important thing is that both of you must agree on the decisions together.

Answer 6

You just need to spice things up!!!! If you cant keep sex hot for only 2 years then what is a lifetime of marriage going to do to help??? try new positions, new places..... do it somewhere crazy like a public place or on the kitchen counter, sometimes it just helps to get out of the bedroom. try role playing, or fun new foreplay ideas! You have to keep the sex fresh new and exciting, even in marriage.

Answer 7

You have already been together. You need to start finding ways to keep the spark in the relationship, or your partner will be looking for fresh meat!!!! Believe me, ceasing the sexual activity now is not the answer. It is too late to wait for marriage.

Answer 8

DEFINITELY marriage! I waited to have sex until I got married and let me tell you 12 years later and it just gets better. ;-) waiting is the best thing you can do...it gives you both something to look forward to not only that but imagine the passion...woohoo! TC

Answer 9

why create rules for sex? its natural to go into slumps in the bedroom but try and keep it interesting instead of creating an arbitrary rule to mask and neglect an important aspect of any relationship. once you get married, youll have sex and then it will revert back to where things are now. work on it, talk to him.

Answer 10

Definitely better to wait until marriage. I know a who didn't and now regrets it everyday of her life because now she doesn't have anything special to give to her fiance. Real sad

God Bless