My love and I have been through hell and back with each other and both feel that we should just wipe the slate clean and start over, you know.....start new memories to erase the old ones. The problem is, the past always has a way of sneaking up on us and it tries to cause problems. We've both did our share of misbehaving, but we're wiser and more mature now. Nothing would make us happier than acting as if the things that we have dealt with never happened but it is way easier said than done. What are some ways that we can stop ourselves from dwelling on the past. We really love each other and we've both done a lot of growing up. We also have a daughter on the way and we really want to be a loving family. Please help us, what are some ways that you all lost focus on the past?
2007-11-27 18:38:45 · 8 answers · asked by Tnisha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't just forget the past, but you can learn from it...
This means, not tossing things up into someone else's face which happened last year. focus on TODAY... not yesterday.
If you disagree, keep yesterday out of it... discuss and try to solve the topic at hand, in a mature way...
Your pasts are dead and gone. Cant' change them, but you can learn from them..
Don't repeat the same mistake twice... and if you find yourself in a conversation or debate in which you might bring up the past, count to 10 every time you want to say something... those 10 seconds will help you to keep from saying things you will regret.
i hope it works out.
2007-11-27 18:46:05 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some outside advice. A counselor can help you learn ways to overcome past issues and focus on the future. The main thing to remember is that the two of you have the same goal, and that is to forgive and forget. Not easy, but love will help you make it happen. Agree to forgive each other and hold tight to the new beginning. Look for ways to be nice to one another every day and be sure to say "I love you," Determination will carry you a long way, and I congratulate you on wanting to set up a loving family for the new baby.
2007-11-27 19:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by older is wiser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get two copies of this book. "The Power of Now" read a little bit every morning TOGETHER then a little bit before you go to bed at night TOGETHER. Discuss each point, and come to mutual agreements and understandings for each point. Now you each have your own copy so write in it, and leave the books in noticeable places around the house as a reminder of the "NOW". Pick it up if you start regressing about the past, open it to any page, read it, you will be amazed. I was... Oh BTW if you follow these simple instructions you will save thousands of dollars in therapy fees, you will be filled with positivity, and you might even be able to achieve a higher level of consciousness.
Watch the thinker....
2007-11-27 19:02:13 · answer #3 · answered by Rondingo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've found with my relationships that if the original problems that caused the issues aren't fixed the problems keep happening. You have to solve the root problems not just the symptoms.
Also try not to bring it up with every argument and give yourselves time to talk about it occasionally if it is still causing tension instead of storing the anger/pain inside and letting it come out in a fight. You will find it easier to work through the problems as a couple if you talk about things before they blow up.
2007-11-27 18:43:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try seeing a counselor and try to work through it. You can forgive but never forget..Maybe try concentrating on that and the fact that you have a child on the way .. I know it can be done as my husband and myself have been to hell and back and we are still together..we have been together longer than we have been married and we also have kids ..That is what keeps us focused. That and the fact that there is nothing that anyone could do to break us apart.Love can conquer all..sounds corny but it is true
2007-11-27 19:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by wintairi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you u should apologize and ask if you guys wanna be friends then slowly raise your relationship back day by day
2007-11-27 18:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by Jeremy Simon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just appologise to the other sincerely,it will be very easy again
2007-11-27 19:01:31 · answer #7 · answered by madhavan n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can not let go of the past it may kill your future ,
2007-11-27 18:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by kev l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋