Why are military men often chauvinistic, womanizing, homophobic jerks?

Question

From what I've encountered, the majority (NOT all) of men in the military are chauvinistic, ignorant men who think they are better than everyone else, simply because they are in the military. They think they’re big tough men who can do or say anything they want. The majority of them are close minded, they think America is the greatest nation on earth (nothing wrong with patriotism, but not when it becomes arrogant), they degrade women (they use degrading words to describe female soldiers) and many female soldiers are raped by male soldiers. There are stories of female soldiers being raped by high ranking commanders, they try to report it, and their report is put into a filing cabinet. They also have of HATE homosexual men and insist on using the 3/6 letter F word in every sentence. When these men return home, they get a standing ovation and people think they are good guys.

I suppose you could say a lot of men whether they are in the military or not, are like that… but I find that its very common among male soldiers. I’ve dated two servicemen in the past. I was abused by both.

So this question is to men who are currently in the United States military or veterans - are YOU like that? Are you a womanizer? Are you homophobic? Do you think you’re better than others? If so… why?

Again, I never said that all of them are like that, but the ones that are paint a bad image for the rest of them. Also, I'm not anti American, I'm anti idiot.

Answer 1

I think you might just have bad taste in men in general.

Most men in the military hold open doors for women, call all women "mam". They go out their way to help women carry stuff to their car, change a tire and so on.

The deal with not liking women in the military is really blown out of porportion. The main reason behind any dislike for women in the military is they demand equal treatment when it benifits them (promotions, duty stations, Jobs and so on) yet they are held to a lesser standard when it comes to phisical fitness standards. They have to run less distance in more time to achive the same score as a man. In the Marine corps they are only required to hang from a bar for time while a male Marine is required to do actual pull ups to get the same score as a female. Yet when a promotion board considers people for promotion they use the overall fitnesss score to as part of the determaning factor. The woman was required to do less for the same score so her promotion is not judges fairly compared to a man. How would you feel about that?

As for males raping women, It is delt with and has ended many careers. You must remember that just becuase a woman says a man raped her doesnt mean that is what happened. The male is entitled to a trial and must be found guilty. There are many, many cases of women crying wolf on rape and sexual harrasment only to get back at someone, so the guilt should be left to and is left to military courts to decide.

As for the being homophobic. A lot of men seem homophobic, when in reality they are not, they just dont want to be labled homosexual so they over compensate to make sure the point gets across. Remember this is a job where if you are beleived to be homosexual you are booted out.

Also as with any job where being tough and fearce is in the job description that stuff goes on. Go to a boxing gym, a police department, a firehouse and any other place like that and you will see it.

Sounds to me like you have picked some bad men and are trying to blame the military for it.

By the way many women in the military bring alot of the rude comments on themselves. (no I am not talking about one's who are raped) I am talking about the ones who sleep with 20 different guys in thier unit and still expect to be looked at like an angel. They would be treated the same way if they did it in a high school or a regualar work place. I have personally seen these types in the Marine Corps.

If they slept with 20 guys at the same high school or work place the guys degrading remarks would be the least of thier worries, you women you be the ones talking behind her back and trashing her.

by the way it is not many but I thought I would lump all women together since you lumped all men together.

Here is quote from a famous woman on that subject

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Answer 2

let me rephrase that for you, alot of the men you dated are chauvinistic, womanizing, homophobic jerks, and for some the military makes an attractive career choice (it's the whole power trip thing).

If I was going to compare the chance of this happening vs. the general population, it would probably be a little higher in the military because of the reason I mentioned, but I still wouldn't say the label applies to the majority of military men. However, jerks often display sexually attractive qualities that your apparently falling for, so you end up with a biased sample that was already biased in that direction anyway.

If it makes you feel better, not only does this not apply to me, but screwing with people like this was a hobby of me as well as a few of my friends. I knew one friend of mine who would call these people fags, which while can be taken as homophobia, he was really using to describe someone who pretended to be something that they weren't, which in this case applied very well to these people.

I actually knew a lesbian in the military that was treated very well in my unit despite the fact that pretty much everyone knew that she was a lesbian and she even told quite a few people she was a lesbian. So no, I don't think you label applies to as many military men as you think, but you might want to reconsider how you evaluate you romantic partners, and not by automatically ruling out military men either.

Answer 3

Sorry you've had bad experiences but to label everyone or even the "majority" as this, simply based on your experience shows your ignorance.
Most men in the military are tough warrior minded guys and they have to be to surrvive. They also tend to be more chivalrous and more protective of the females around them.
Any you've heard degrade female soldiers probably don't appreciate the double standard that's often in place. You don't actually state any statistics on rape,etc you just sound angry! I hope it isn't because you were.
The majority of guys are nothing like you describe (granted most could use a mouth washing) - there are always jerks in every profession of course! And there are some real winners in these days but that is more a reflection of soceity itself and the downslide in morals and manners than the military. Perhaps you need more exposure to the military and a bit more study/research rather than just ranting on here?

Answer 4

Until recently there were no women in the army, it was a totally male dominated world. This still carries down into todays military it takes time to change.
They have to be big tough guys, look at what they have to do for a living!!! They have to see people killed, and blown to pieces, not just the enemy, but ther ebuddies standing next to them. Patriotism is instilled, they can't go into battle thinking of the reasons they are fighting, they have to go in thinking I'm fighting for my country and that's it. It's almost a type of brain washing.
I don't know why so many rapes happen to female soldiers, but the military needs to put a stop to it, they will get there eventualy. It wasn't until the early 80's that corporations started taken notice of sexual discrimination in the workplace, look at that now.
As far as the bad language goes, I was always taught that people with a smaller vocabulary use swear words, particularly the F'word when they can't think of another word to use in it's place. Personally the people I have met that belong to the military do not over use swear words, maybe you have met the wrong soldiers?

Answer 5

I don't think that being in the military has anything to do with being the kind of man you're describing. I think a lot of it has to do with the way that said men have been raised. That may seem a bit Freudian, but it's how I see it. You see chauvinistic, womanizing, homophobic, arrogant men in every career field. I agree that service members who do and say stupid things give a horrible representation of people in the miltary, but it's a deceptive representation, because not all service members behave in an inappropriate manner. For one to judge a whole group of people by the way that a fraction of members of that group act is complete ignorance.

Answer 6

I'm a male and spent 10 years on active duty as an Air Force officer. While I found the behaviors you describe in a number of Air Force people of various ranks, I think they were a minority.

I had friends and associates in all of the other services, and again, I found some who were as you describe and many who were not.

I think many of those who behave as you say were trying to get as much life in as they could in a short amount of time, not knowing how much they had. For some it was bluster, trying to exude super confidence in their own indestructability.

I'll be very honest. I like women. I would happily have had multiple partners had I not been married with children. I did take my responsibilities as a father and husband seriously, however, and didn't do any womanizing.

I am a patriot. If a person is in military service, and particularly in combat, I believe it is necessary to have few doubts about what you are doing.

I think the majority are good guys. Many who are as you describe will outgrow it. I have seen similar behaviors in civilians, so I don't think it's exclusive to military men.

If I had occasion to date you--and it's unlikely that I ever would have since I am probably a lot older than you--I would have treated you with courtesy and respect.

The reason these men (and women) get a standing ovation is because they put a lot on the line for people like you and me, and some pay with loss of lives and loss of limbs. IED's don't distinguish between married or single men or women.

I don't think there is an arrogant bone in my body and I believe I am more representative of the majority of military and veterans than the jerks you describe. Since I spent as much time in the military as I did, I have seen the jerks, and I would agree that they are offensive. But under fire we all become brothers and sisters and we will defend each other to the death.

That is difficult for other people to understand and perhaps to appreciate. But, if you act like a lady I think most military men who date you will act like gentlemen. I would not respect those who didn't.

Answer 7

I'm very sorry this has been your experience. Unfortunately there is good and bad everywhere. I was in the Marines (Infantry) for 10 years. I of course have seen the type of men you describe, but they truely are less than 10%. Unfortunately, like everything else, it is the loudest that stand out. It is our perspective that distorts because if someone is well behaved, we simple don't notice. As a Paramedic, I work in a city other than where I live. If I went off of my experience, then EVERYONE in the city I work are either unintellegent or take advantage of the system. This perspective of course is wrong, because I don't see all the peiople who don't abuse 911 or need 911 because of something they did.
Percentage wise, a women is less likly to be raped in the military than as a civilian, but in the military it is immediately high lighted in the news. It is precisely because it is so rare, and so not the norm that it stands out. As for the Commanders, of course anyone who is wiling to hurt someone like that is wiling to hurt the military as well to protect themelves. This happens in the civilian world too, and with more frequency. I guarenttee that the punishment for a Military person who does this is FAR MORE SEVERE for the miliary than anyone in the civilian world.
I've said before, some join the military because they want o serve thier country, others because they just want ot kill someone, still others because they want to protect freedom and liberty. Personnaly, I fight to protect my (and your) children. please, don't blame everyone becasue of a few bad individuals.
I do believe women can do anything a man can do, have no problem whatsoever if someone is gay or strait or bi, and cetainly think abusing or womenizing is a weak and sad. It is our job to PROTECT, not abuse.
If there is an arrogance, please understand that it is hard to put your life on the line (it is not possible for me to help someone understand what it is like to be shot at and face this daily), and a little "arrogance" helps them to do what they have to do... it is their way of hiding the fear. Much like a scared person laughs (as a Paramedic, most have very morbid jokes of the dead we see daily, if we don't, we would cry all day and soon be unable to function... at work or in life).
I can't ask you do give anyone a standing oviation, but there are a lot of evil people who are more than willing to rape you right now.... who do you think is stopping them?
I think you sound like a good person with a good heart that has been hurt very badly, for that I am sorry. I hope you can find the happiness and love you deserve.

Answer 8

Womanizing Men

Answer 9

It all boils down to how they were raised as kids. I used to supervise a few of the idiots that recruiters are putting in these days. I'll try to systematically answer your question the best i can. You have to be tough in the military, after all going to war is our PRIMARY duty, there is no room for the weak in the combat zone, however some guys have problems finding the "off" switch to this behavior, like i said earlier this begins prior to the military. America IS the greatest nation on earth, I will 100% agree with them there, we sign up to defend her to the death. The degradation and mistreatment of women both civilian and soldier types is unacceptable by any means, no excuses. Again it's thier backgroud that has a lot to do with thier social behavior. Rape does happen in the military but there are systems in place to prosecute those who perform this haenious act, no one is exempt, even commanders. Foul language is and will always be a part of the military, its just one of those things however not everyone inthe service drops the f-bomb like eddie murphy used to. These guys took on a commitment to serve and protect america and when they get back from the war zone their efforts and sacrifice do deserve a standing ovation. There are bad apples in every gammet of society and in time they eventually fall off the tree and rot away into the ground. I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences with serivcemen but you need to realize that you've also met the 1% of the idiots the system has put with the honorable service members, thus giving us a "bad" name.

Answer 10

I was active duty and there are a lot of corrupt men and women I encountered. I did not encounter any homophobes. Military males cheat and military females cheat. There is sexual assault that happens to women and to men too. The perpetrators are mostly males. I learned that wandering why would get me no where. I coped by accepting it the facts and dealing with things until I got out. I was never assaulted but I knew men and women that were.

Answer 11

So you're basing your opinion on the action of 2 men? Honey, there are THOUSANDS of men in the military and I'd say that the vast majority of them are pretty stand up guys. If your abusive boyfriends' friends weren't, think about it. We usually surround ourself with people who have things in common with us.. so yeah, his friends probably appeared to be ignorant jerks too. But for every ignorant jerk in the military, I'm sure you could find 100 who weren't.
Of course they think the military is the greatest nation on Earth, that's why they signed up to protect your freedom. I was in the military and can't think of a single time I was degraded by anyone I worked with. The incidence of rape in the military is roughly the same as the incidence of rape in the civilian world.

So the moral of my reply is, sorry you had a bad run in with some military men, but truthfully, there are more good than bad.