My daughter rules the house! (she is four)?

Question

She orders everyone about, she shouts and cries if you dont do as she says.
She is an only child and dont get me wrong i understsnd she is only what i made her (well me and her dad) but she is just so selfish she expects all of us to do what she wants or she cries really bad (uncontrollable sobbing)
She is also really messy! i wouldnt mind if she just made an effort to help tidy (even picked up one thing)
I have tried leaving her to cry when she is being silly for no reason it doesnt ever stop she can cry for hours until u apologise.
i have tried just ignoring her when she is being bossy but she just gets right in my face til i answer.
Please help i dont want her to be a brat noone likes or wants to play with

Thanks Kiki, i have tried this but i dont think i perserveered (spelling) long enough!

Also does anyone agree with this saying i heard?

UNRULY HOUSE = UNRULY CHILD?

dont get me wrong my house is not dirty but maybe more things need more proper places iykwim

Answer 1

spank her butt and put her in a corner when she misbehaves

Answer 2

Hi...

You need to be consistent and stop giving in to this child when she has a tantrum.. let her have a fit.. it might make her tired and she will take a nap and give you a break....

EVERY TIME you give in to her screaming and crying, she wins! And you dont' get any peace...

When she sobs, just ignore her... Walk away... run the vacuum! turn on some rock music, or use the leaf blower....do something noisey!

Why are you apologizing for HER bad behavior? Stop apologizing!!!

We can't expect 4 year olds to be neat or tidy... heck, teenagers aren't usually very tidy either! But you can make a routine of straightening her room daily and picking up... and having her help you... it's a good example, and you will be encouraging her to do something positive, with your help...

If the child "gets in your face" put her in a time out, in a chair facing a wall... and don't let up! Make her stay there for at least 4-5 entire minutes.. and if she starts acting awful again, give her another time out.

It may make you very tired and weary for a couple weeks, but YOU are the parent.

You might also look at one of the major book stores or library for books on parenting.. they cover lots of topics...

I have two grown children, and i have found they NEED and want discipline -- and also the gift of our time doing positive things... so cleaning her room WITH her, would be positive and a learning experience... she can also help you around the house, even if she's only four...

take care.

Answer 3

My cousin was like this as a child. Everyone told my aunt she needed more dicsapline and that she should do something about it, but she never did. Through the years it only got worse. She was the poster child for "BRAT"! We are 11 months apart so we were very close, but it became to difficult to be around her. My mother wouldnt even allow me at her house because she would be so awful and was a bad influence on me.
To this day my cousin is now 21 years old. She STILL walks all over her mother! She is so selfish! She had a child at 17 that she does not care for (her mother cares for the child) She hasn't had a job in years! She mooches off her parents! She is a highschool dropout!
The moral of my story is.... STOP HER NOW BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!!

Answer 4

Tantrums are part of child development and it is the child's form of expressing their frustration as well as attention seeking.

I feel for you however you need to take control. Like you say she will control you instead.
If she continues, you need to ignore her and perhaps sent her to her room. It may take a few times or days and soon she will realise you mean what you say and you are in CONTROL. Both parents have to be consistent otherwise it will not break the cycle.

If she gets in your face,WALK AWAY!
Do not yell or even answer and make as if she is not there by leaving the room.
If she won't pick her stuff up,get a trash bag out and tell her you are throwing her stuff away if she doesn't pick it.
I guarantee you will have to throw stuff away but she will eventually get the idea.

Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.
I did find useful info to understand and how to deal with something similar with fabulous results!

Answer 5

I would sit down with your spouse and start trying to decide what behaviors she has that you really want to work on first and to also make sure you are both on the same page, parenting wise. It wont be easy to work on all of her behaviors at once! She didn't get this way over night, so it will most likely be a long road to having her behave the way you want.

I would try to be very consistant with her, so she knows that when you say something, you mean it, and no amount of shouting/crying/etc will make you give into her.

Do you reward and praise her for good behavior? I would try that if you don't do that already.

I think kids at her age are normally pretty messy. I would try to include her with helping you clean up messes she makes. Try to make it fun.

Answer 6

I personally find it hilarious that you don't trust your daughter. If you truly trusted her you wouldn't have these absurd rules, they are ridiculous. Also why you are busy trying to control your daughter's life she is secretly doing things you don't even know about. The more you try to lock down your child the more they want to rebel and do everything against your will. I am going to suggest that you loosen up and let your daughter make her own mistakes or you are going to lose her.

Answer 7

My daughter did the same thing. I boxed her toys up and put them away for a while. I would take her to her room and sit her on her bed, everytime she would get up I would take her back and not say anything. When she would finally stop crying I would attempt to talk to her. If she didn't listen then I would keep doing it until she showed some progress. It will be tiring but it worked! Eventually I would gradually give her things back. If she acted up again I took them away. She then learned that is was NOT okay to act that way. Just have patience. If she sees that she is getting to you she will keep doing what she is doing because she knows that she is wearing you down.

Answer 8

You have to ignore her!
When she cries for hours just let her.
She will eventually stop.
Even if its 12 hours she will eventually stop.
If she gets in your face,WALK AWAY! Don't yell or even answer her just leave the room.
If she won't pick her stuff up,get a trash bag out and tell her you are throwing her stuff away if she doesn't pick it.
I guarantee you will have to throw stuff away but she will eventually get the idea.
I have been a nanny for many years and have had to break many kids of the things you speak of.Its hard at first and may take a while;but it works!
All the things I have suggested I have actually done with fabulous results!

Answer 9

Oh My goodness... I feel for you sweetie. My 3 1/2 is the same exact way! I can't get him to listen to me for nothing and neither can his father. Its the boys way or the highway! and I am afraid of the same thing as you... raising a spoiled, mean kid, that nobody wants to be around. There are some pretty good answers here. Hopefully something here will help. Good Luck!

Answer 10

you need to establish control and NOW!
you are the adult, she is the child!
try reward charts, stickers for doing jobs and good behaviour, and so many stickers gets a prize.
removal of toys if she doesnt tidy them up.
keep cool but be assertive!
contact your local children information service for support.

Answer 11

Try books like:

Raising Your Spirited Child
The Challenging Child

Both come recommended.