My young niece & nephew attack me, their mother says its my problem, what should I do?

Question

First off, I'd like to assert that I love my family very much. But I do not love how my eldest sister's 4 and 6 year old kids physically attack me at family events.
My sister's approach to parenting is to let them do as they please because they are just being kids and just ride out the storms untill they grow out of their wild behaviour.
I do not advocate hitting or yelling at them, nor is it my role to discipline them. But lately I find myself dreading attending family gatherings, which otherwise mean the world to me. Their prefered methods of attack are screaming in ears, scratching at eyes, biting fingers and general puncing and kicking. You can imagine my anxiety and frustration as my sister sits there motionless as I am subject to these onslaughts.
I don't want to avoid my relatives but I am not a human punching-bag.
Any suggestions would be appreciated as I have no kids of my own and am worried I might hit back one day, which would go down like a led zeplin

Answer 1

Your sister isn't doing her kids any favors. Since they're little, you can just get up and leave when they start to misbehave. Walk away. You should also talk to other family members, and perhaps sit down with your sister as a group and tell her she needs to take parenting classes, as her kids are only going to get worse. Also, another thing you can do is to reward them with attention when they are acting nicely, so that they don't have to act badly to get attention (which is what they're doing).

Answer 2

I to have a 4 and 6 year old and when they act up at family functions they will get chastise by other family members, that is if I don't get them first. I, and I think most people, do not mind if this happens for they are family and it is expected. You say you do not advocate hitting or yelling, well neither to do I. I do advocate smacking them on the butt and talking to them in a stern voice to get my point understood! After correcting them I then tell them that I love them and that this type of behavior is not acceptable, PERIOD! When you use the word 'hitting' I visiualize someone striking another out of anger and I believe when you correct a child, whether it is sending them to their room or a spanking, it is done out of love. So, next time little Johnny uses you as a punching bag stand up, look at him in the eyes and with a stern voice direct him to the nearest corner to sit. And then get with your sister and tell her (not ask) that you do not appreciate this treatment. If you do not do so then continue being punched or just not show up. Children need to be shown boundries, they expect it!

Answer 3

Wow!! Your sister's children may actually be arrested and jailed some day. Or commit a violent crime. For sure their marriage will be riddled with problems. Where's the dad in all of this?? How does the 6 yr. old behave in school??
Someone does need to teach the children appropriate behavior. I think you need to assert yourself; get defensive. Make eye contact; yell NO!! grasp the child by the wrist, firmly. Explain to the child blah, blah, blah. Then say...DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Make sure the child has calmed down b/f you let go of his/her wrist. Then tell the child, "I am going to release my hold on your wrist now." Then let go. Maintain eye contact the whole entire time. If he attacks you again, repeat the above until he behaves.
I am not a therapist, but that is what I'd do.

Answer 4

I know how you feel. I really don't like kids for those reasons.

I suggest bringing it up to other family members, I would hope you're not the only one going through this. Your sister should be a mother and take care of her kids. And someone needs to tell her this. Tell her you don't like seeing her because you dread it. Maybe you need to have an intervention. And tell her the parenting technique she's using doesn't seem to be working.

Or maybe fake having a severe injury from her kids onslaught. Like a messed up ankle. Or cut yourself really bad and show it to her after her kids attack you, and say it was from them. Be pissed at her and basically say "I've told you a million times". She'll listen after that.

Answer 5

First of all - these children are too old to be disrespecting anyone like that - much less an adult. I would suggest that you either stay completely away from them, or take their mother aside and tell her that if she does not keep her children under control you will be forced to - and then follow-up. Turn them around and make them face the wall for a few minutes when they do this - and if they try to leave, just take hold of their shoulders and stand there with their nose against the wall. Then tell them that you will do this every single time they come near you and disrespect you. It may not change their behavior overall - but will probably keep them away from you.

Answer 6

This is a tough one. My husband and I are childless as well. My sister won't correct her children. This put us in the unfortunate position of having to do so ourselves. We could only handle so much. She treated my husband as if he were a pedophile for correcting her son. This also put us in the position to withdraw our agreement to be guardians to her children in the unlikely event of her death. As painful as this was, there would just be too much undoing. Our discovery, being childless, is that we don't get to complain, suggest, voice opinions on children or how to raise them since we've never had any. I know this doesn't really give you a solution to your problem, but it might give you an idea how a lot of people with children think of those of us who do not. ...as if just giving birth makes you an expert, right? Good luck. Oh ~ I'd never be in a room alone with them. Any temptations to react inappropriately will be less likely to occur.

Answer 7

The puppy proprietor is often at fault. in case you knew that there grow to be a canine that grow to be no longer toddler friendly then this makes you greater responsible. If youngsters weren't allowed at your celebration then you definately and your husband might desire to have instructed her to bypass away and walked her to her motor vehicle and made effective she left. the toddler is 3 she isn't at fault sorry your are. even in case your canine has been around youngsters you may under no circumstances say a canine won't in any respect chew. You simply by fact the puppy proprietor are a hundred 0/0 responsible to your canine no longer the mummy of the toddler the mummy grow to be no longer ignorant you have been for no longer putting your canine in a interior of sight have been the canine ought to no longer be set unfastened. Sorry to assert there is not any longer something you're able to do you're at fault no longer the mummy of the toddler.you may no longer blame a three 365 days old for a canine chew..

Answer 8

Hi
What you have is a problem. If your sister just sits there watching, you really need to tell her thats its NOT your problem - its hers. They lack discipline. If your being busied it really shows that they are hitting HARD. You might have to maybe grab their arm FIRMLY, and say stop, this is naughty! If they continue you might have to say it firmer, STOP. This is unacceptable. First, before you do this, please tell your sister what her children are doing to you. Show her some bruises (if any) and tell her how much it hurts you physically and emotionally, as your own niece and nephew who are supposed to be kind to family are hurting you very much. Maybe an outlet for this behavior is necessary, like some toys that can keep them occupied or something. This could be very hard if you don't know what they are in to.
Good luck, i hope this answer helps.

Answer 9

Wow!! I can't believe your sister sits by and lets this happen. You have every right to tell them to stop, even yell at them to stop if they don't the first time. It's YOUR body, and that gives you the right to put a stop to it. Maybe also put it back onto your sister. When these kids start doing this, look at your sister and ask (not so jokingly), "Gee, Sis, what kind of monsters are you raising here? I sure hope they don't do this to their friends or they won't have any for long."

Answer 10

Okay, first of all, I would like to tell you that I myself have no children of my own as well so my advice is basically from my own experience. I used to be attacked by kids as well, but after a few times (okay, a few years), I found a new way of dealing with it.

The trick is to appear friendly, yet take on authorative position. Since your sister doesn't discipline them, YOU do it. No, I'm not asking you to beat them up.

You don't let them hit you: instead, you ask them to stop gently. If it doesn't work, bribe them into stopping. I always have a packet of sweets with me.

You don't let them scold/scream at you: use your voice. Raise it up a few notches. Try to appear authorative. If they raise their voice, you follow suit. It's a win-win situation.

Don't hit them. Never hit them. It only fuels them. It makes them want to take revenge more. And them your sister would either plead or order you to NOT hit them and there would be nothing you can do.

Make them your allies, your friends. It works, all the time.