how would you react to your 15 year old daughter telling you she's pregnant?

Question

i'm the daughter. it's not for sure yet, but i'm a week and a half late and having symptoms. i'm taking a test in the morning.

do you think she'll understand that i made one mistake? i went to a party and some thing happened. it wasn't planned. i feel so bad. i'm not trying to put this burden on her! imma quit chearleading and get a job to save up if i am.

and don't be talkin **** on my momma for rasin me bad! she's the best mom in the world! she didn't teach me to go out and party! i fololowed her example from when she was a teen. she changed when she got pregnant at 17 and said she would never want it to happen to me. i know she loves me and i don't want to hurt her by telling her. she is a good momma.

**oh and i'd finish this year of school and either homechool next year to stay with my child or go to a half day alternative school that provides child care so i can still work.
my mom also does day acre during the day, so she would be willing and probably happy to take care of it while i go to school, but idon't want to do that to her. she's already watching my baby cousin for no cost. it would take up too much of her time with the other babies

Answer 1

I got pregnant when I was 16, and my parents completely flipped out. It was hard... VERY hard. You should be mentally prepared for your mom to be a little hurt; usually moms don't want to think about their kids being sexually active. Don't take sh*t from other people about the way she raised you, though - I NEVER tolerated people insulting my mom.

Make sure you take at least a couple pregnancy tests before you tell your parents. I'm not sure what state you're in, but consider looking into Safe Surrender in your state if you're scared. It's good to have a friend with you for emotional support. If your parents start arguing, make sure to have a few points ready to tell them how you're planning to take care of your baby. Say, "I'm sorry." I know it's hard when you're just a teenager, but be very humble.

You can email me if you have any questions :)

Answer 2

This is a probable run-down of my reaction: First: My eyes would get really big, my eye brows would raise WAY up high, and I would say something, like - you're serious (subconsciously making sure it wasn't April 1st). Next: (after the confirmation that it's true) I would give her a hug, thank her for telling me, and then ask her who the father is (so I could beat his ***.. jk =D). I would want to know "how" it happened - were they not using protection, did a condom break, etc.. And talk to her about how NOT to let this happen again. GREAT that she wants to keep the baby! I would help prepare her to take care of her child, I would make sure she gets appropriate prenatal care, and I would be as supportive as I could be. Yes, yes, of course I'll be very disappointed that she's even gotten herself into a situation like this, but at this point, there's no going back. What's done is done, and from here you can only move forward and make the most out of what you've been given. I agree wholeheartedly that a baby shouldn't have to be the one to suffer because someone made a "mistake." I don't believe there are mistakes. I think everything happens for a reason. I also am sad that some people just jump to the abortion conclusion. Why doesn't the baby get a voice in this - is it just because s/he can't talk yet? Every person has rights, young, old, born, unborn. No baby is ever just a "clump of cells." From the point of conception they have their own individual set of DNA, and everything about them (except their personality) has been determined. They are male or female, they have brown hair or red hair, they have green, blue or brown eyes, and they have a smile that no matter how hard you try, you're not going to be able to resist. Kudos to you on being brave and stepping up to the plate, and congradulations on your blessing in disguise. I wish you nothing but the best. Lots of love, Trish EDIT: I was wondering, to all the people who say "you can't support a child/take care of a child properly" or something to the same effect, what ever happened to family taking care of each other? Yes it's going to be hard, but I also think that it's perfectly alright for family to pitch in and help you out, as long as you're putting forth the best effort that you possibly can.

Answer 3

. Your Mom is not going to hate you. She maybe upset and disappointed but that is because she loves you. If she wasn't upset and disappointed then she wouldn't be a good Mom. There are many things that you can do if you are pregnant. Discuss all the options with your Mom. Tell her right away. If you are pregnant then you need to seek medical help. The earlier that you see a doctor the better for you and the baby. Be honest with your Mom tell her how it happened. Get ready for some tears from both you and her. Together the two of you can get through this. She has proven that in the way that she has raised you. Good luck sweetheart. I wish you the best. I will keep my fingers crossed that you are not pregnant.

Answer 4

I'm very proud of you for being concerned with how your Mom will react. When you make a life-changing decision, you affect several lives all at once.

My 15 year old told me she was pregnant...this is after I laid down the house rules about b/f's in the house while I was away. I didn't like her b/f, but treated him with respect and expected it in return. After she told me, I told her, "If you want to abort, I'll help with the arrangements, if you intend to keep it...there's the door."
I know...harsh. However, it was as if a dagger was driven straight through my back....after being spit on. I know what guys want, and I set rules for a reason.
Anyway, she left....and I felt remorse and regret every day she was gone (she went to live with her mother). To make a long story short, EXPECT your Mom to get angry. Don't argue the point. If YOU know you messed up, give her a chance to realize that, too. None of us were perfect children, lol.
Incidentally, even though I'm against you keeping the baby for practical reasons, I now have a year and a half old Granddaughter, I've reconciled with my daughter, and they're surviving....which I guess is ok....
Best of luck in your decision making, be patient with Mom, and learn from your mistakes.....maybe you can go back to cheerleading, someday.

Answer 5

well don't put the cart before the horse, see if your pregnant first. Try not to take too much on at a time. You know your mom better than we do, what is your honest opinion of how she will react? I was of course shocked, but quick to know it was not intentional, and also quick to be sure my daughter knew no matter what i love her and will help her get through everything as best i can. I also told her i would support her emotionally with whatever she decided to do. (she was 16)
she now has a total of 2 children, is 35 years old and happy.
It was hard, and there were difficult times, not all happy and cozy, but we all grew with the situation and learned alot. Hard for me because i knew how difficult a task this was going to be for her, one no matter how much she would try and imagine, she never would be able to, until the time came. But, it worked out and usually does. Be honest, talk to your mom about your ideas of what you would like to do, and don't deprive your mom of the chance to help, it is our nature to nurture! Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

I am not here to cast out any judgment for i got pregnant at 16 years. your young and yes this is a huge step in your life but you can do it and if i was your mom i may be a little shocked and maybe a little upset but i would never put you down for it or argue with you everyone makes mistakes and you seem to be a great girl and very responsible i would be proud to have you as my daughter and i promise it will be all OK. Good luck and God Bless!!

Answer 7

It's not that your mother isn't a good mother, but obviously she failed at some point in raising you because you managed to make the same mistake that she made 16 years ago. Obviously she has to take more interest in her daughters life because A) Her daughter is at a party where the daughter can be subjected to tempting situtations B) Her daughter doesn't know how to have safe sex C) She doesn't screen the boys that her daughter hangs out with D) She hasn't taught her daughter the value of sharing a sexual experience with someone you care about as opposed to an older boy from high school.

Good luck with that situation, and don't think that people are talking bad about your mom, it's just that there are alot of people out here who have seen this before, and are qualified to comment on the situation, and as much as you hate to hear it, your mother is partially to blame.

Answer 8

There's no way for us to predict how your Mom will react. However, the way you approach her about probably will have a big effect on how she reacts. I would avoid blurting out "I'm pregnant" as that would be like punching her in the stomach. I would suggest saying something like "Mom, I'm finding myself in a situation I think I need your help on". That sets the stage for what you want from her.....help. Then say "I *think* my period is late". (That still leaves a bit of doubt, so she can come to her own conclusion)

It is likely that she will go through some or all the "stages of grief" Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance, as you probably will too. (Look up Elisabeth Kubler-Ross for more info on that).

Oh yes, a really good book for you would be "Taking charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler. It teaches you how to look out for the signs during the month when you are ovulating so that you can use it to help prevent pregnancy, or to achieve it depending on one's situation. Things I wish I'd known when I was younger.

Keep us posted on how it goes.

Answer 9

HOLY ****!!! I HAVE A DAUGHTER????



But seriously, I'd consider it part of my failure as a father to properly educate her on the consequences of her actions, and to provide her accurate information on safe sex and contraceptives. That's my responsibility and my fault, however; it's not right to take it out on her, no matter how much I might want to deny any responsibility.

I'd support whatever decision she wants to make (either to keep the baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion), recognizing that it's HER decision. If she keeps it, I'd hope we both learn from our mistakes and try to be a positive influence on the child's life. I would do what I needed to do in the way of help, but I'd also force her to realize that it was HER choice, so the child is ultimately HER responsibility to raise. By that I mean that my help is NOT unconditional; if she wants any from me, she'd better start working and continue school to completion.

I wouldn't blame the father any more than I would her. It takes two to get pregnant, but I'd advise her not to rely upon him (or anybody besides herself) for support. Yes, everybody makes mistakes, but not everybody learns from them.

Answer 10

I can't really say until it happens what my reaction would truly be, but I would hope that I could remain supportive and help her to make a decision that will be both positive for her and her baby. I really think that my first reaction would be that of disbelief, then grief for all the painful decisions that would be ahead for my daughter. Abortion would not be an option that I could be supportive. I would encourage her to either give the baby up for adoption or keep it to raise for herself. Either way finishing her education would be another top priority. Past that, I really don't know how it would all go down.