How to break up? Please help.?

Question

I have a very controling and jealous boyfriend. He is unable to trust me and i have no idea why? I never do anything wrong. It has come to a point where i have even dropped my friends to be with him. I always did what he wanted me to, and he still did not trust me! Now that i have started talking to my old friends, he makes me feel guilty for it. Every decision i make for myself, i have to put myself on the defence and justify myself. I'm only 18. He always turns situations into my fault. Why do i feel guilty for everything i think and do? Quite frankly i am sick of it and i need to break this off. I love him. I've tried everything i can. I don't know how to break up with him, and how i will deal with it after. It's so hard to break up with your first love, that you stil llove, AND DOES NOT REALIZE what he is even doing wrong!(which i feel guilty for) Plz help me. What do i say?

Serious answers PLEASE

Answer 1

well maybe you need to be honest, and just tell him that you love him, but you feel as though it's not working out....something i learned is never use "you" and always use "i", basically express your feelings, and don't tell him what he's doing wrong because he'll get on the defensive faster...unfortunately it's not a healthy relationship for you, and while u realize that you need to find a way to tell him you love him, but because you feel you're not compatible so to speak you need to go your separate ways, and maybe sometime in the future when the hurt is gone maybe you can be friends...good luck

Answer 2

This is a very touchy subject...one to be very careful with. Sit down with him and tell him in a calm voice that you do not appreciate the way you are being treated....you are unhappy because you cannot be yourself. Make sure you keep your voice calm DO NOT YELL this could trigger him to get angry and hostile. Tell him that if things don't change then you will leave. Do not let him turn this around on you, you have to be strong. If you know someone who can help (should things get this desperate) then you should tell them of your situation....a work manager etc. Just be careful that is controlling and jealous nature doesn't get hostile or abusive. Tell him you are scared of him and if he really loved you he wouldn't make you feel like this. Tell him that if he really loved you then he would trust you not matter....remind him of all the sacrifices you have made for him and how he has made you feel but remember to not get into an argument.

If things start getting violent then you should leave...but please be careful. If he doesn't know he is doing this then maybe all he needs is to be told...hopefully that will make him see some sense.

If you need to talk email me at [e-mail]

Good luck.

Answer 3

His behaviour is not your fault. He will not change without professional help.

You need to get out before it escalates to violence.

Be direct and tell him that because of his jealous and possessive behaviour you can't be in a relationship with him anymore. Then change all of your phone numbers. And I mean all: cell, home, everything. If he continues to pursue you, get a no contact order against him.

He will likely do anything to try and keep you around, but please realize you are not in a healthy situation. You need out to see it for what it really is. Even if, as you say, he doesn't realize it, no one treats someone they truly care about in the manner in which you are being treated.

Love doesn't feel like you feel right now. Love makes you feel beautiful and think up. You deserve that love, not a guilt filled relationship that doesn't allow you to live your life the way you want to live.

Answer 4

You just have to find the strength to do it. The fact that he needs you to change, to be totally different from who you are, and that you aren't allowed friends of your own means that this guy is a control freak. Nothing you can do will make yourself right for him, because as you get close, he will change the bar. Whatever mistakes he makes will be your fault. Girl don't live like that.
It will hurt to leave him., to leave the hopes and dreams you had for this relationship behind, but you have too. This is not a good situation and you know that. Use those friends to keep yourself occupied, and when you think of going back list all those reasons why you left.
Take care of you.

Answer 5

Im a 18yr old guy and ive had many female friends that have been in the same situation. First I would advise if hes so controlling that he might get abusive, throw that guy in jail. Just say the relationship is over and explain the cause. If he truly loves you he will change. If any more questions hit me up on myspace/cheezenutz7 GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

If you honestly think that you are going to be happier with out him then maybe breaking up with him is the best thing, but if you do are you sure that you are not going to go back to him. Have you tried talking to him about the situation. Maybe, before you actually break it off, you could tell him whats going on (make him realize how he is making you feel) and tell him that you can't handle it anymore. Other than that just be honest with him. Don't beat around the bush. Hope things work out for you.

Answer 7

Call the womens shelter in your area NOW. What you have is an Abuser that has not gotten to the point of physical abuse. you will need help in getting clear of someone like that. I know that sounds like a strange thing for a guy to tell you but I had an abusive ex-wife and that was the only way to get clear of her (I ended up in a shelter and having to move to a different town).

Answer 8

Your boyfriend is abusive and you are too needy. You really need to get out of that relationship quickly because you could end up dead. In every town or city there is a safe hangout for abused women, you need to go there for counseling. Don't try to break it off with him until you get some help. They will tell you what to do.

Answer 9

aww. my best friend went through this in her sophomore year. he controlled her to no end. and the 3 of us were really close friends in the beginning but then he started getting real jealous of me and my best friends closeness. it got to the point where he told her not to hug me in front of him! also when she went to my house during that summer, she was afraid to tell him because he had hated me so much. so she lied and he found out. as a result, he made her ignore 8 of my phone calls. that was where i drew the line and said this is not right. you either choose him or me. i dont care how much you love him but he is not treating you right. and i understand how hard it is for you to break up with him because you think of how things used to be. and he is manipulating you to make it seem like you're the bad guy. but believe me, hunnie. you're not. you can't wait too long. she chose him over me for a while until they broke up. and even then i was afraid to accept her back into my life. as hard as it may be...let him go. tell him you can't deal with the bull sh*t anymore. it's hard, i know. good luck and you deserve so much better.

Answer 10

Well for one, There's no easy way to break up with someone. There's alot of things you could tell him
You need your space, You just have alot going on right now. or the truth. Your tired of his BS!!
If your scared of him, or afraid he might try to hurt you, If you do it in person it would probly be best to have a friend around. Or do it on the phone.
Its going to be very hard. But its only going to get worse trust me.