the father of my 5 year old is an absolute nutcase!! we have joint custody of her and today is his day to have her. I dropped her off at school at 8am and then went home to sleep since i work nites (every Tues,Wed-same schedule for 3 years). My daughter ended up getting sick around 10am. she was throwing up so the school called both me and her dad b/c they couldn't remember which one of us had her today. 10 mins after the school called me, my ex called telling me I had to go pick up my daughter b/c his obligation to her didn't start until 3:30p when she normally gets out of school!! My ringer on my cell is always shut off when I sleep b/c I know it's not my day to have any of my kids. when I wouldn't call him back-he called the school that my other 2 daughters attend and my boyfriend's sister works at and asked for my boyfriend's sister!! he told the receptionist that I lived with my boyfriend and he needed to talk to the sister b/c my daughter was sick and he needed to get ahold of me
2007-11-27 15:45:10 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i was furious!! i didn't get the messages until 4:30p when i woke up and when i called the school to check on my daughter-the principal told me that 10 mins after she called him, my ex came and got her. so he was calling my boyfriend's sister while on his way to get my daughter from school!!
I want to put a stop to this!! he occasionally will harrass me for stupid things like this. around 7a this morning he called 6 times to tell me he didnt want my boyfriend going to our daughter's school christmas concert on thursday to which i replied too bad he's going.
help!!! what should i do?!!
2007-11-27 15:45:40 · update #1
Document... document... document...
Obviously you need to keep your phone on even on your days that you don't have your kids, just in cases as this. you and your daughter could have slept together, and since she was sick... Would he have taken her?
Just keep good records
2007-11-27 15:51:23 · answer #1 · answered by colleend01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a parent, even if your child is supposed to be with her father, your cell should be on at all times. If something happens and they can't contact her father, or if something happens while she was with him that leaves him unable to assit her, you are the person they will contact (especially if you have primary custody). I would also suggest you update your daughter's emergency contact sheet at school to include a few names of people they could all if both you and her father are unavailable or can't be reached.
Next, I agree with the idea to document everything. Also, if you have a formal custody agreement through the courts, check to see what time your husband is supposed to take charge of your daughter. If the agreement states he does not have her until after the end of school, than legally he is correct. If you don't have a formalized agreement through the courts, get one. In the end it protects both the parents and the child.
Speak with the school your other children attend and make it clear that under no circumstances should information be given to your ex if he calls. If he is not thier father, they are breaching confidentiality laws.
As for your boyfriend, I do agree he can attend your daughter's holiday show. I would certainly suggest sitting in seperate areas.
2007-11-28 00:21:14 · answer #2 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's bull**** for one! OMG, his "obligation"??? She became his full time obligation the second she was conceived!!
This is what my friend did. The father of her 6 yr old had temp full custody and she had visitation rights. But even though her daughter lived with her dad, he could never be bothered to take off work (or at least his lunch break)to take her to the doctor when she was sick so my friend (who lived an hour away) would have to take off work for they day to take her. She paid child support and bought her clothes (like she should) but the next weekend when her daughter would stay the night, she would be wearing ratty clothes. Anyway, she kept all her receipts from the doctor, kept records of every time she had to take off work and the money she was loosing because of it and filed for full custody and won. She kept records of EVERYTHING.
2007-11-27 15:54:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're making a HUGE thing out of nothing. This is probably why you two are not together.
These weird miscommunications just happen. You guys care WAY too much when the other makes mistakes.
When these things do happen, rather than giving each other crap and arguing, try to focus on fixing this for the future. Keep your eye on the main goal of efficiency, patience and communication.
2007-11-27 16:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make the leap to get an attorney to get this straightened out properly and DO NOT subconciously or otherwise get the children involved in this. They are the inocent ones.You can choose to bicker back and forth over this and other things or get it resolved in a court, yes it costs money, but it obviously is not working for the two of you to get this resolved in an adult way, not placing blame here, it happens all the time. It should be worth it to you to get this taken care of, look at it like an emergency room visit you gotta pay for due to an injury, go to court and get it settled there. good luck.
2007-11-27 16:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by do.drop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ignore this... Your ex is looking for a reaction from you and ways to push your buttons.... So, next time you see him just go about your business. If he says something about this, just smile and say "oh".... don't react or act like you are affected at all.
Beleive me,i had an ex who tried to cause dramas and one day i decided to use this approach with him.. it was interesting to see his reaction! He was shocked because I was unaffected... made my day!!!
Even after you start ignoring your ex's behavior, he may still continue for a whle, but believe me, he will eventually get bored and stop the insanity...
take care.
2007-11-27 20:04:24 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hihi....am Green, from Malaysia, how about? I think you better leave this guy,...if u can...
2007-11-27 15:55:13 · answer #7 · answered by Green 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋