would you date a guy who is an alcoholic?

Question

i have been dating thgis guy for about 6 weeks and just recently told me he was an alcoholic.... i kinda figured that out because of his mood changes,,, says he wants to work on the problem ,,, but i havent seemed to notice any changes ,,,, what now.... last saturday he had seven beers in the am already

Answer 1

Some people can change and, thus, they deserve a second chance. However, your boyfriend doesn't seem to be in this category. He said that he wanted to work on the problem, but what has he done so far? Nothing? That sounds like he's all talk but no action. If this is the kind of man he is (all talk), being alcoholic is not his only problem that you have to worry about. If you decide to stay with him, in the future you will often get empty promises as well. I don't think this is the kind of future you desire, is it?

I'm not going to tell you to break up or anything because I don't know how strong your feeling is toward him. I can only wish you luck on whatever course you are planning to take.

Answer 2

ok. so late november, early december of last year I dated this guy for a month...that's how long it took to realize he was a bad idea. When I first met him he was mostly obsessed with sex and when I spent more time with him I started noticing his habits. His morning coffee was beer, his casual snack time was beer. His video games and movies were accompanied by beer and I was very worried of going out with him. He even drank AND drove at the same time. The guy I dated may not be your same guy. This guy also did drugs and at the same time would tell me he wanted to change after he did them. He would ask me if he should, I'd say no, and he'd snort coke anyway. He also took medication for add. By mixing it with beer and drugs he would have several blackouts and become disoriented lots of times. I'm not saying you should leave this guy but don't ever put yourself under the impression that you can change someone, or help someone. In order for you to help someone, they have to be want to be helped and WANT to change. If the alcoholism is bothering you and seriously affecting your relationship, WHICH IT WILL, tell him he should enroll in a AA program and that he can forget about the idea of you and him if he doesn't start making positive decisions in his life. Don't put yourself through hell with this guy. If you think you may love him and want to stick around and help him get through it, I wish you all the power and luck out there. But if your feelings really aren't that strong just break up with him, and try to be his friend and help him. Maybe when he's sober you can see a future with him. If you DO break up with him, don't tell him it's because of the alcoholism. If he asks why, tell him something like we're going in different directions, or I really don't feel that strongly. whatever you do, don't put yourself through hell. He's not worth the trouble if he's not willing to change for the better. Good luck.

Answer 3

Only if he is sober, and has been for a couple years, as of now you are in for lots of trouble and problems, remember you cannot help him, he has to want to and than do it on his own, all around him should though let him know he has a problem and let him know he needs help. It is a terrible life being with a man or woman who is a alcoholic either as a friend lover or husband or wife, and the children suffer so much. Something to think about, God Bless and good luck.

Answer 4

What I would do depends on what HE did.

If the guy was actively working a program, and trying to get control of his life, I'd date him.

This guy is NOT working a program, he's doing NOTHING but continuing to drink. If you continue to date him, you'll become part of the problem. It's called being co-dependent.

Tell him how you like him... if it's as a friend, tell him that... if you like him as a guy to date, tell him that... if you think you like him a LOT, tell him that...
THEN
Explain that you have a policy to not date active alcoholics. Tell him you appreciate his honesty in admitting he's an alcoholic, but you need to let him go so he can work on his problem. Tell him that, when he's working a program, when he's not actively drinking too much, that you'd like to date him, but NOT until he's working on his alcohol problem. If he wants to discuss it, you can remind him that "wanting" to work on a problem is NOT the same as working on the problem.

Please don't date him till he's really working on it.

Answer 5

Dear Silly, please don't set yourself up for hard times. You're running to trouble at full speed. He told you he has this problem and wants to work it out... yet won't do anything about it, obviously. I have a feeling he's all talks and expects you to gobble that. End this relationship now. He will probably blame you all the way for it, as would be typical of him. Don't fall for the pity party and the empty promises. No matter what he says, his fate is NOT in your hands.
Take care and I wish you well.

Answer 6

no. because they'll bring you down with them. if i was dating someone and while we were dating they became an alcoholic. then thats a different story. because you cant really leave the one you love. but you and this guy. he has been an alcoholic and just told you so. its different. you should leave. because there are going to be so many more problems to come

Answer 7

Well, that's a difficult one. It's hard to turn your back on someone you care about just because they have a problem...but it's also hard to be with someone you care about and really not see any improvment. If he has a serious problem and you really do care for him.. get him some help and be there to support him. Support from loved ones helps out a great deal. Good luck!!

Answer 8

Ummm.......No. That's like asking "would you jump in front of a speeding bus"?....or "Would you eat sh*t if you didn't have to?"..... Maybe if it were 6yrs invested in the guy you might give a little time allowance to help him with his problem, but after only 6weeks.....No....you have the opportunity to free yourself from disaster, so do it now.

Answer 9

i wouldnt date him.
dont get too far into the relationship with an alcoholic because then if you want to break it off you feel obligated to stick by him even if the relationship is not working for you.

Answer 10

nope, my father put my mom through hell and I think that she's made that mistake for me. It's not good to date someone who hasn't worked through serious issues. You can be his friend and pray for him, but you may want to refrain from dating him as of yet.