how should i handle this?

Question

the father of my 5 year old is an absolute nutcase!! we have joint custody of her and today is his day to have her. I dropped her off at school at 8am and then went home to sleep since i work nites (every Tues,Wed-same schedule for 3 years). My daughter ended up getting sick around 10am. she was throwing up so the school called both me and her dad b/c they couldn't remember which one of us had her today. 10 mins after the school called me, my ex called telling me I had to go pick up my daughter b/c his obligation to her didn't start until 3:30p when she normally gets out of school!! My ringer on my cell is always shut off when I sleep b/c I know it's not my day to have any of my kids. when I wouldn't call him back-he called the school that my other 2 daughters attend and my boyfriend's sister works at and asked for my boyfriend's sister!! he told the receptionist that I lived with my boyfriend and he needed to talk to the sister b/c my daughter was sick and he needed to get ahold of me

i was furious!! i didn't get the messages until 4:30p when i woke up and when i called the school to check on my daughter-the principal told me that 10 mins after she called him, my ex came and got her. so he was calling my boyfriend's sister while on his way to get my daughter from school!!

I want to put a stop to this!! he occasionally will harrass me for stupid things like this. around 7a this morning he called 6 times to tell me he didnt want my boyfriend going to our daughter's school christmas concert on thursday to which i replied too bad he's going.

help!!! what should i do?!!

i should point out that he DOES know that once my daughter is dropped off at school, she becomes his responsibility.

Answer 1

This is his fault as much as yours. It should be in the court order exactly when his time begins and your time ends. That way, there is no question - even if the school calls the both of you. It seems like you are just as confused as he is.

If he doesn't follow the court order - then you can file a motion to enforce the court order.

Also, the next time he whines about your boyfriend you can tell him that if he has a problem with it then he can ask the judge to include in the court order to prevent you from bringing your boyfriend to Christmas concerts - of course a judge will probably never order this unless your boyfriend is a danger to your daughter (i.e., pedophile, etc..)

Things like this need to be worked out either in court or personally.

Answer 2

It is good idea to keep the ringer on at all time especial during school hours. It's important that your daughter's father to have a meeting of the mind so there won't be any misunderstanding even if you have to hire a lawyer.

Your boyfriend has every right to attend the Christmas play, but make it clear to him that you will be the one to discipline your cute daughter, not him, because if he does you are going open up a whole new fight.

I don't know why your daughter got sick, but you might want to take her to the doctor. The importance fact is make sure you don't argue in her presence, because she loves you and her dad. God bless

Answer 3

Wow. You know all I can think of is your poor daughter, puking her guts out and not knowing which of her irresponsible parents were going to bother to come and get her. His day or not, your daughter may need you, what if this had been life threatening?

You both need to grow up. You both choose to have a child and not provide her with a married set of parents, its not her fault. You have kids, you are the mother, you don't have any business cutting yourself off from the world and not being available just because you work the night shift. Shame on you both.

Answer 4

First thing first. No matter what time of the day it is You Are A MOTHER , FATHER 24 hrs of the day. Tell her father it does not matter what time of the day it is , If she needs him he betta get to running. Children do not need the stress of what happening between their parents. Tell dad its time to grow up . Talk to him about how he need to get better on his parenting and no matter what a court order says he is her father 24 hrs aday. Ask him what more important. You could have gotten into a accident going to get her. Sometimes man can be so selfish and they just dont want to listen . I would say just talk all yall problems out . Put everything on the table that you dont like as well as him. Yall have to do better ,Give the world a good adult not another screwed up on.

Answer 5

Chelsei,

You must be having the most horrible time one can have. After a failed marriage and divorce, the ex does not treat you even now with basic respect! He is troubling you as well as trying to cause problems in the future life you are trying to build. I admire you for the person you are for enduring all these. I understand the stress you must be having because of all this. But please dont lose heart. Please dont get upset or irritated or furious over all these because they will affect only you more. Instead, you please talk to the attorney or the counsellor who helped in your divorce process and tell them all these incidents. I am sure they would help you find the right remedy for your ex. Hope you have a good relation with your current bf which will not get affected by all these. Take him into confidence, I am sure he would understand you since he loves you and your daughter. Take care. all wishes..

Answer 6

This reeks of irresponsibility. You need to keep your phone on at all times! I don't care if he has her or not, you are the mother, you are the sole provider. Your ex probably should have handled things differently, yes, but you need to think about what might have been had he not called the people he called. I am a single mother, and have sole custody of my son because I know his father is irresponsible, but if I were in your situation, I'd blame myself, not just him.