Are we ever gonna be okay??

Question

My sister and me have never been close...But in the past year everything has went doen hill,worse than ever...I'm only 15 she's 23....Though I act more like the 23 year old and her the 15 year old...She's hooked on drugs,I'm hooked on books...We're complete opposites...I don't even remember what she sounds like or where she lives...I wanna say I hate her,but she's given me my three nephews and niece...And shes the only sister I have...How can I be her sister when she wont be mine.

By saying I dont remember where she lives I mean know...She moves in order to 'hide'...

Answer 1

OK, so your sister is a drug addict, right?
I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but you will probably never have a normal relationship with your sister as long as she's on drugs.
It's not because of anything lacking in you.
It's because you will never be able to reach your sister as long as she continues to allow the drugs to get in between you two.
You said something very profound.
You said that it's more like she's the child, and YOU are the adult. There can be a great deal of truth to that.

I hope that one day soon your sister gets the help she needs to kick her drug habit. Unfortunately it's not up to you.
She has to be the one to decide when, and where she does get help.
What will most likely cause her to reach that decision is when she finally hit's her bottom. What I mean by that is maybe she will get thrown in jail, or lose her parental rights to her kids, or her job, or maybe even her chance at a relationship with her little sister due to her drug habit. Any or all, or even none of those things may be enough for her to want to quit.
But the final decision will remain with her.
All you can do is ask her to get help and be ready to hear her answer whether it is a yes, or a no.

There is a book by Melodie Beatty titled "Co-Dependant No More" that I think may help you.
But since you are 15, I am going to also STRONGLY suggest that you keep your distance from your sister as long as she is on drugs. It's not easy for me to offer you that kind of advice because I do have a firm belief in keeping the family together. But you are only 15.
Dealing with drug addicts in the family is heartbreaking enough for adults.
If you are concerned about the safety an welfare of your neices and nephews then talk to your mom. They are her grandchildren, and I am sure she will want to do what is necessary to protect them, and will be better equipped to handle such a situation.

Good luck and good health to you all!

Answer 2

you all need to intervene . She is on drugs and has children, so the children are 2nd and the drugs are 1st. If this was my sister i would tell her how i fell and then if she did not listen then i would tell the family to all get involved and if that does not work have your parents take custody of the children or another family member who is going to be a good parental figure to your nephews and niece i would not worry about your relationship with your sister until you get your sister to realise that she needs to wake up smell the damn coffee and be a good parent, that is the relationship that you should be worrying about. take those kids away and let her hit rock bottom and realise that she needs to grow up and take care of her children and to leave the drugs behind. then worry about your sister relationship cause that is what a good sister would do!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

You will always be family but, sometimes being a sister means letting go for awhile. I come from a family of 20 siblings. We all have different things going on in our lives but, that does not mean that I love them any less. Some of them are in jail and I am even in the process of adopting 2 of my nieces. So chin up, something good always comes out of everything.

Answer 4

She needs help.. she needs love... I know she is 23 but why aren't your parents trying to get her to stop? Why don't you guys as a family sit her down and do an intervention-style confrontation with her about how her lifestyle is affecting you all and how much it hurts to watch her destroying her life.
If you all never sit her down and explain your true feelings then she will just continue going through life believing that no one loves her and is there for her. She needs love and comfort, she needs a shoulder to lean on, and she needs a push to get her started on a long road to recovery.

Answer 5

Set an example for your older sister and her kids to follow.She will come around one day, may not be tomorrow or next year but eventually.She needs the LORD though because HE is the ONLY ONE WHO can help her.Pray for her.

Answer 6

talk to her.. tell her that you dont like when she does drugs and stuff. and tell her that she is not setting a very good example for her kids...What are her kids guna say wen they get old enough? Tell her that you are only 15 and you can see how messed up she is.. make her see the error of her ways...

Answer 7

Have you tried telling her how you feel? If she doesn't take it into consideration, all you can do is not give up on her and hope someday she realizes how important you are to her. Don't say anything that will upset her enough to stay angry at you because if anything, you can still have a relationship with her kids.

Answer 8

Hopefully one day she will get it together and be the sister you deserve, however you can enjoy the children and try to show your sister by example that there's a better life.

Answer 9

as long as she is hooked on drugs you will never be close again. drugs turn you into a completely different person. she needs help to get off drugs.

Answer 10

This sounds like BS to me! What is your point?
You say you cant remember what she sounds like or lives - yet 'in the past year' everythings gone to the dogs! Come on, you're just pulling a fast one, yea?