what would you do?

Question

if you're 19 and your mom doesn't want you to have a boyfriend?

what if you still wanna see your boyfriend and your mom doesn't want you to?

would you run away from home and live with your boyfriend?

or

stay with your parents living under rules such as "be home at 12, I'll pick you up from school, drop you off, and no boyfriend"?

she finds out you're taking birth control pills and she doesn't even know you have a boyfriend...you didn't tell her you have one because she'll get mad at you...what do parents expect you to do? when you're honest with them, they get mad..when you're lying to them, they get mad..what to do what to do?

Answer 1

Just tell your mum you are an adult now, & while you respect her as an adult & mother - you can make your own decisions in life now. You understand it is her house but it is only fair that gives you freedom due to a 19yr-old. Otherwise you will have to consider moving out.

Answer 2

Remember 4 items -

1) Listening

2) Reasoning

3) Understanding

4) Negotiating

You could try the long-lost art of speaking with your parents concerning your thoughts and feelings.

Choose a time when both parents have absolutely nothing to do. (They can't give excuses, then)

Remember that you might need to give up some of your time for this to happen.

Also, choose an atmosphere which is conducive for discussion, such as a "neutral" room of the house, or perhaps (if the weather is nice), sitting on a blanket in the back yard.

Above all, the atmosphere must be relaxing and no interference, such as TV, other people, music, noisy locations, etc.

The simple trick of communicating is CALMLY (and I mean calmly) discussing with your parents your thoughts, dreams, and hopes. Other subjects could also be included.

Remember the word calmly. It does no good if one raises their voice and tries to control the conversation.

Another trick is listening to their side of the conversation. Don't you dominate the conversation and keep your ears open.

Remember, you asked them for their time, so give them your full attention.

Most conversation ends abruptly because of non-listening.

An item of importance; if one of your parents says something you don't agree with, don't belittle them; instead,

Negotiate and ask them what would be agreeable to them.

(This tends to work wonders - it makes them stop to think, sometimes helping them realize they just might be unreasonable. But keep in mind - they might do this to you, so have some reasonable answers ready.)

Keep the communications open and two-way (or three-way, if both parents are present.)

You'll find that listening, reasoning, understanding, and negotiating are very effective ways of communicating and eventually everybody gets what everybody wants.

It also shows your parents that you are growing up and possibly ready to handle responsibilities.

Answer 3

Maybe I agree with you with your parent's being a little too harsh on you about not having a boyfriend. But I would never evere run away from home just to live with a boyfriend. My eldest cousin did this with her boyfriend and then they decided to get married. After they got married, they had many problems in her marriage and so they divorced. It was stupid on her part because she had no education or a decent career to support herself afterwards and had to move back into her parents house. Don't make a mistake or regrets that are too big for you to handle. You're parents care and want whats best for you, you might not know it or think it! but one day when u have kids of your own u'll understand where they were coming from.

Answer 4

You are 19, it's called moving out, not "running away." I take it you are still in high school, what with the dropping off and picking up from school, but you are old enough to be on your own. As long as you live in their house, they get to make the rules. Don't drop out of school, whatever you do. Your boyfriend can wait.

Answer 5

If you want to live by your own rules you have to get a job, car, apartment and pay your own bills. Living with your boyfriend is probably not a good choice. What if things go badly? Where would you go, back home? I would rather prove I am old enough to make my own choices and take care of myself. Respecting yourself and and taking pride in your accomplishments is more important then living with a boyfriend who may or may not be the one. Plus, in the end it would make you and your parents happy, you get the boyfriend and they get to see you succeed.

Answer 6

how does your dad feel, if he is in the picture? how old is your boyfriend? does your mom just not like this guy, or does she not want you to date any guys at all? if she won't let you date anyone, i agree that moving out and starting your adult life is a good option. maybe when she sees that you can provide for yourself and make important decisions, she'll recognize your right to date someone too.

Answer 7

I'M SURE THAT THEY DONT MIND YOU HAVING A BOUFRIEND, BUT THEY DONT WANT YOU TO MESS UP YOUR LIFE. THESE DAYS TEENS ARE HAVING KIDS AND CANT EVEN SUPPORT THEMSELVES. THEY ARE NOT BEING MEAN THEY JUST DONT WANT YOU TO BE IRRISPONSIBLE AND BE A PARENT AT A YOUNG AGE, OR BE A DRUG-IE!
TRUST ME, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I THOUGHT MY PARENTS WERE THE WORST AND NOW IM 26 AND I THANK THEM FOR ALL THE CRAP THEY GAVE ME BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IT MADE ME OPEN MY EYES AND BE A REAL RESPONSIBLE WOMAN. DONT BE MAD AT THEM. THEY CANT HELP IT IF THEY LOVE YOU!

YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL, THERE ARE ALOT OF PEOPLE THAT DONT HAVE PARENTS TO GUIDE THEM AND WORRY ABOUT THEM!

GOOD LUCK....

Answer 8

No, you become an adult, get a job and a place of your own and pay your own way then you can make the rules.

Answer 9

I'd be talking to her parents and ask them how did they feel when mom was defiant, rebelious, and obnoxious and ran around with her boyfriends?