Should I be upset?

Question

Okay people today is my 33rd birthday. I am as sick as a dog... very bad cold. My husband got home from work around 5:15. He did not bring/give me anything! He did give me a hug and said Happy Birthday... but that's it. Then he asked me what I had made for dinner. Should I be upset... or am I taking it to the extreme?

Thank you all for your answers... they are all really good. I am also a mom of 2 boys. FYI all 3 of us were sick on my birthday. I took care of them, just like a good mother should. So, I sort of figured my husband would do something for me when he got home... since it was my birthday. A birthday is a big deal in my home. It is something special that we celebrate... even if it's only amongst us. I always do something for my family when it's one of their birthdays.

Answer 1

Yes you should be upset! You deserve to have your birthday recognized as your special day. Suggest that you go out on a birthday date when you're feeling better.

Answer 2

I would be pissed to say the least. I can deal with the hug and Happy Birthday because I have been there but he has always made my dinner for my birthday or taken me out. On top of that when I am sick he know me cooking is probably out of the question. Mine would have told me to crawl in bed, got me medicine, water and made me some soup and a grill cheese. Then took care of him and the kids, even if that meant going to McDonald's so I can take a nap for a few hours in peace. I'm sorry but in my opinion that would be down right disrespectful to me has his wife. I would never treat me spouse like that and I would let him know how you feel.

Answer 3

Yes you should be extremely upset but don't be silently upset. You need to tell him that you're upset and explain to him why. I've learned that some men are just insensitive by nature and they don't really pick up on things as quickly as we would like them too. Just say "Honey while I appreciate the hug and kiss I was a bit hurt that you didn't even think enough to get me a card or a small gift. I know it might seem like a small thing but for me those little things are like a sign that you thought enough of me or that you remembered something important about me." Do it in a nice calm tone so that he won't jump to the defensive.

Answer 4

I'd be upset. He got home at 5:15, so he had time to stop by and get you a card, flowers - pick up dinner since you're sick. You need to explain to him (sad, but true - they don't know why we get mad) what upset you. Try not to yell at him, just explain that you want to enjoy your birthday and a litlle more thoughtfulness would really help you to do so. I'm sure he's not doing it on purpose to upset you. Happy 33rd!!

Answer 5

Yes you should if you were my wife believe me at least there would have been some flowers and dinner (whatever you wanted even soup) would have been made for you. I would have asked you every 5 minutes what can I get for you, I would have gone to the store if needed to get some cold remedies to help you feel better. I would have run you a nice hot bath . I would have just tried to make you feel as good as I could. Your husband is taking you for granted and is very inconsiderate. I bet when he is sick he expects you to take care of him and baby him.

Good luck and I surely hope you feel better.

Answer 6

I would be upset, especially when you are so sick he expects you to make dinner still? It's your day it's your birthday, it may not be celebrated the way you wanted to but at least he could give you a day off from house chores. He is being very insensitive.

Answer 7

It would be improper to cite this singular incident and cast judgement on your husband. There is more to this... is this a habit of being inconsiderate... was there any previous circumstance that led him to go home at that hour?

Birthdays are mind illusions (even a semblance of worship towards fellowmen especially to our personal VIPs) and the pain that comes with the celebration or non celebration is a product of your values. You have kids, you may want to see the paradigm that you live for them and not for your husband or someone else.

In life's frustrations and heartaches, try to achieve inner peace. If we expect too much, we get disappointed. At the end when you are facing God (however you conceive him to be) its between you, your actions and His mercy.

Try to look for the poem Desiderata and ponder on the universal truths it simply suggests.

Look for love among those who will unconditional love you: your kids, friends, or even pets. I usually advise people to look for peace not love. Most often 'thou we love someone, that person may not give us the peace we want. So achieve that peace and find a way to shield yourself from "imaginings"

Answer 8

Yes you have a right to be upset. I would have said, "I don't know - what IS for supper? I figured maybe you would be cooking for me since I AM sick and it IS my BIRTHDAY!" but I can be a beach like that ;) Sorry you are sick and Happy Birthday!

Answer 9

You should be upset. He should be making you dinner when you don't feel well, let alone your Birthday. Sounds like he is a bit on the selfish and unromantic side. By the way. Happy Birthday!!

Answer 10

Are birthdays a big deal in your house? My birthday comes and goes with just a happy birthday said. I don't get upset. If you tell him not to make a big deal...he won't. If you want a big fuss made over you, you need to tell him. Don't hint at it, don't assume he will.