My sister is 11 and in all honesty, she's wrecking our family, and we have NO clue why. At school her teachers rave about her and she is very smart and is nice and helpful at school, and very friendly, but at home she's the opposite. At home she hides up in her room most of the time, listening to her iPod or using the computer. She hardly talks to any of us, and when she does it's usually to complain or say something hateful and rude. It's adding SO much additional stress that we just DO NOT need right now!! I'm 15, and we have twin bro & sis that are 4, and she mostly blames them and my parents (as far as we can tell) for her problems, which isn't too strange but she's taking it too far. It seems like she has no consciense, and she NEVER helps and will even say "NO" and walk away if we ask!! We've tried everyhing, even her talking to a psychiatrist! PLEASE HELP!!! We can't keep living with her like this!
2007-11-27 13:05:12 · 10 answers · asked by doodle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We've already tried taking away her privliges (sp?) but it doesn't work!!!
2007-11-27 17:48:57 · update #1
Having my parents spend more time with her could be good, but she acts like she can't stand to be around us, and when we try to take her out she usually just complains!! Or we get home and she doesn't act any nicer at all, not ever for one day. But I feel really sad for her, because she's missing out on so much and seems so angry... but we really just can't figure it out.
My dad thinks she might be a sociopath!
2007-11-27 18:00:57 · update #2
Honestly, sounds like your parents need to be much firmer with her
People don't do things they can't get away with
She has quite an attitude for an 11 year old
She needs a serious attitude adjustment, maybe take her ipod away everytime she doesn't help around the house, something, anything, to prove that your parents mean business and aren't going to tolerate such behavior anymore
2007-11-27 13:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by marm212 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a typical teenager! She may only be 11, but some children grow up faster!
If that is the case, then her moods and attitude are down to hormonal changes in her body! It affects a lot of pre-adolescents and adolescents like that!
Has your sister got anyone she talks to? Maybe she has a problem that she's taking out on the family, and can't or won't talk to your parents about?
If you know any adults that she confides in, ask them to try and find out what is on her mind. Once you know what the problem is, you can start dealing with it!
You don't say she has a problem with you? Maybe you could talk to her? You could suggest taking her to the pictures, for example?
If you can get her out of the home and the rut she's got herself in, and out somewhere she can relax and enjoy herself, then maybe she'll open up to you?
She could be jealous of all the attention the twins get and be playing up for attention?
She won't be able to see that twin 4 year olds are very hard work, she probably sees them getting more attention as a sign that they are loved more!
You could offer to babysit the twins, so your parents could spend some quality time with her that she doesn't have to share with them, or anyone else!
I'm sure it is something simple like that, but it won't feel so 'simple' to your sister! From her age onwards, everything feels so much stronger, and she will be far more emotional as a result!
If these things still don't help, then would be the time to think about having a chat with her doctor!
Your sister needs set boundaries, which your parents may already have established, but if not, now is the time to do it! Firm but fair is the best way, having simple rules with simple consequences if those rules are broken, such as removing priviledges, grounding her, etc.
I hope this helps!
2007-11-27 14:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by Watsit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like sis is a bit jealous and feels like she is not getting the attention she wants. Right now she is only acting out at home because that is where she needs to attention. try to make her a part of all...leave some decision up to her like maybe what movies to watch or go see, maybe a trip to the mall ,see what makes her happy and try to shower her with all that. these things can get out of hand when they start looking for attention outside the home...she is at an akward age. she may be reaching puberity(i am worlds worst spellar) and he body is raging...just give her the love and not the judgement and blame and things should work out
2007-11-27 13:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sister will only act as she is allowed. I imagine your parents are busy with the twins and this may be her way of getting their attention. Unfortunately, if she is behaving, they are probably counting their lucky stars and though unintentionally, ignoring her. Treating her like the enemy will only encourage this behaviour, "everybody hates me". I suggest that when you do ask her to help, make it a positive approach. I also think that if you were to think back to when you were that age, you may understand where she is coming from. I am not saying what she is doing is ok by any means. Make it more fun to be with the family than it is to be alone...Good luck
2007-11-27 13:29:52 · answer #4 · answered by susie2962 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister sounds a lot like me. solitary type. i know i felt like my family turned their backs on me. then i got to the point where i didnt even want to deal with them anymore. and now im like that. i think she feels like left out or something. middle child. no attention so she gets attention by being rude. im the same way. either try and make her feel like wanted by giving her attention or just let her get accustomed to feeling like no ones there for her. id go with the first if i were you
2007-11-27 13:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents need to take away all of her privileges. That means the iPod and everything esle goes for a month. They need to tell her that if she does not improve during that month, then she will get her privileges taken away for another month.
2007-11-27 13:11:30 · answer #6 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here's what YOU do about it.
Mind your own business!
Your 11yo sister's issues are between her and her PARENTS. NOT YOU! OK?
Besides there are 11yo kids with bigger problems in this world than your sister seems to be having.
Just work on your relationship between you and your sister, as a sister, and leave parenting her to YOUR PARENTS!
2007-11-27 13:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take away her computer and iPod till she gets straightened out
2007-11-27 13:35:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's nothing i can do, except suggest therapy .... your sister obviously has some emotional problems or is going through a very difficult "phase"...
it's your parents' responsibility to adddress your sister's problems... and i hope they do
2007-11-27 13:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes jealous,she not the baby any more
2007-11-27 13:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by nomore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋