The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with h
2007-11-27 12:28:59 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied..."In Vietnam."
Star if funny
Ty
2007-11-27 12:30:19 · update #1
Broken Finger
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!" The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?"
The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"
2007-11-27 12:43:11 · update #2
Liked 'em. Star for you.
2007-11-27 13:07:32 · answer #1 · answered by billy brite 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was first look for joke about the navy but I will help you.I am in dep for the Marines, Yes I know we can be rude to the Navy guys, but we are friends. The Army is free game and there fages. Here ones for the Marine and the ARMY Muscle Are Required Intelligents Not Expected M A R I N E But remeber we are your Guns. Arn’t Ready to be a Marine Yet A R M Y Make fun for these Joker all you want.
2016-05-26 04:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty funny! 8/10!
2007-11-27 15:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol i like them dont know why person above me didnt like
2007-11-27 12:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
boooooooo sucked
2007-11-27 12:35:03 · answer #5 · answered by vote NO for hilary cllinton 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋