I’m a college student and I live in a townhouse style apartment. I have 4 other roommates. So any way this one roommate of mine has this boyfriend, he is kind of older, we are both 20 and he is like 27. So anyway he always gets trashed on Thursday nights, usually, I don’t know why Thursdays, and then comes over and gets in bed with my roommate, I think he might have a key. So anyway the bar he goes to is pretty close, he comes over and can barley get down the hall to her room. This has gone on for months.
So anyway one Thursday night my roommate was at her parent’s house. I had been drinking, not a whole lot, and I started to think, her boyfriend is kind of cute, he is self employed and has a lot of free time it seems. So anyways as I had a few drinks with my roommates and I wondered if he would even notice if I was asleep in her bed when he stumbled in. I thought it would be funny.
2007-11-27 12:25:53 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I mentioned it to my roommates; they thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard and dared me to do it. I was going to wait for him to get in bed and try something and then turn on the light.
So anyway I went into her room and ended up falling asleep in her bed, I never planned to fall asleep. I woke up and he was on top of me. He snuck in and pulled my pajama pants down along with my panties and he already had it in me before I woke up.
So I awoke to him having sex with me. I tried to push him off and he was like what’s wrong and just kept on going. I told him to stop and he was like “you are so tight tonight.” He felt kind of big, it was rather painful. I didn’t want to let him know it was me, less then a minute after I woke up he totally came in me. It was the first time a guy had came in me. I was kind of scared, it felt weird.
He rolls over and falls asleep and I left went to my room. I don’t think he has a clue.
2007-11-27 12:26:37 · update #1
I never gave consent, I did say stop and he didn’t. It was kind of stupid, I can’t believe this happened, should I tell my roommate? Was I raped?
2007-11-27 12:26:58 · update #2
I don't even know what to say.... That's a crazy story. Since you said stop, he did technically commit rape, but do you feel violated? Do you feel like he needs to be behind bars and labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life? Do you think this person really forced himself onto you, or do you think he was just in a drunken stupor. You admitted that you thought he was cute so maybe in your heart of hearts you got in your roommate's bed because you wanted it to happen? But if you feel like he forced himself on you and that he violated your body, by all means turn him in. If you don't, keep your mouth shut and don't mess up the relationship between he and your roommate.
2007-11-27 12:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by Just gorgeous dahling 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
This is a difficult one. The problem is he didn't know it was you and maybe your roommate gets on with him like that. Maybee she playfully says stop and she gets her kicks out of that. This is a very serious matter. Regardless when a person say stop then that's what's suppose to happen. Mayb you need to call a rape hot line and explain what happen so you will have someone with experience in this area o help. God Bless.
2007-11-27 12:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell the room mate, and look for a new place to live.
What you did was SO immature, and almost deserve it...
HOWEVER, you did say stop, and he didn't.... so that can be construed as rape.... and you obviously NEED that to make your self feel better, for your childish behaviour.
If you, or the room mate does not move, after you tell her (if you are even mature enough to tell her the whole story)
have the landlord rekey the locks, and all 4 roommates should agree that this situation is proof that no outsider should have access to the place, and should have limited 'sleep over' opportunities.
2007-11-27 12:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by Rudy J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The simple answer to your question is no, you were not raped. As afraid or upset as you might feel right now, look at the sequence of events1) you planned to do it2)you went to his girlfriend's room which you knew he came to every Thursday3)you told your friends who dared you to do it and you accepted their dare4) you drank on the night in question, went to the room, got into her bed(your friend's), a bed you knew they always shared, then fell asleep5)he came in, thought you were his gal and started to have intercourse with you; you woke up , realized what was going on , did not push him off, or say that you were the wrong girl or turn on the lights 6)at the end, you said nothing to him, your friend and his girlfriend, or admit to the stupid game you played.7)you also thought he was successful and cute so it is theoritically possible to say you wanted to sleep with him.8) You chose a night your friend (and his girlfriend) was away even though you knew he had a key, got trashed on this particular day, then came over and had sex with his gal. While I sympathize with your anguish, you have no one to blame but your self.You played a stupid game which backfired on you and now you have to own up to your foolishness. I will suggest at the proper time, you take a pregnancy and std(s) tests to rule out pregnancy and/or diseases. When you decided to play this game, you thought it would be funny; I hope you now know these types of stupid games can sometimes end in ways you did not intend, and you will not repeat them in the future. Again, I sympathize with you but you were not raped.
2007-11-27 12:49:38 · answer #4 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You thought it would be funny to take her place in bed? And you did this because you think he is successful and cute?
Based on your story, he had NO IDEA it was you. He thought you were his girlfriend.
You never told him it was you he was humping? I mean, you said to stop, but he'd be drunk, and have no idea why his gf would say that, so he pushed it out of his mind. For all we know, he thought you said something else. Or he was confused as to why his gf would want him to stop. For all we know, they alternate between having dominant and submissive fantasies.
How many times did you say to stop? Did you put up a physical struggle? Tell him who you were?
Being drunk is no excuse for rape... but really, it'd be your word against his, and the rest of the story makes it seem like you wanted to have sex with him.
2007-11-27 12:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by IrishFan2011 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The way you tell this story makes me beleive you were not raped. First of all you tell it like its a "story" even saying "so anyways" several times. if this "story" is actually true he was wrong to continue after you said no however he thought you were somoone else and you tricked him and didn;t reveal who you were. You were in a way at fault for not revealing who you were knowing he would be imparied and drunk. I'm still not sure if I even belive your story. But to me what you did was a sick trick ( you yourself said you thought it would be funny) this wouldn't seem funny to you if the situation was revearsed.
2007-11-29 05:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is something i dont think i would never say....you kno i never thought it was a womans fault that a man slep with her without consent until now...
you put this on youself you went in his gf bed when you knew he would have come there.....the guy is used to sleepin wif his gf when he comes back so obviously he was wasted and didnt even know it was you....he was already having sex with him and he was drunk do you think he was listening or was of sound mind...he prolly didnt even notice that it wasnt his gf...
what is ur problem you sleep in another girls bed as a prank when you know what could have happened and now you want to cry rape...
2007-11-27 12:34:30 · answer #7 · answered by ebony_316 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate to say because no trick deserves this big of a consequence, but it couldve been avoided. he clearly didnt know it was you and i think that you should not tell your roommate. if it bothers you alot, do waht your heart tells you, but if you're able to let it go then you should. it really just shouldnt have happened and everyone is in the wrong.
i dont mean to sound harsh, this is just what i would do
2007-11-27 12:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This would be a really close call if you ever took it to court. If I lived in a house where a guy like this had a door key, I'd get it back.
2007-11-27 12:32:04 · answer #9 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you were raped. Go to a hospital and see if your okay.
Although, really, making that decision to sleep in your friend's bed was stupid.
2007-11-27 12:34:41 · answer #10 · answered by nestealuva 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋