How do I get eager evangelicals to keep their mouths shut on the ski lifts?

Question

I’m an avid skier and about three times a season the slopes are infected with eager evangelicals who just can’t wait to share their religious dribble with those on us who ski single. You all whip out your cute little tracts and begin your mind numbing spiel. When I’m polite and say something like, “I’m not interested, thank you.” You seem to see this as an invitation to engage me in a discussion. The only thing that seems to be effective is being rude and saying something like “Shut the ****-up.”

This year I’ve had business cards printed up with a Sigil of Baphomet on it that says “Kindly keep your superstitions about your ineffective and pathetic god to yourself. P.S. I’m a Satanist” My intent is to hand this out to you all when you whip out your tracts.

Comments/Suggestions?

Answer 1

I can dust off my feet and let you go to hell. You are of your father the devil if you are a Satanist.

Answer 2

This is not a freedom of speech issue. It is an etiquette issue. They are being rude, pushy and disrespectful. You card sounds like a lovely idea. When all else fails, there is duct tape. Or, you could break out in a loud, off key version of "Ice, Ice, Baby". Anything by the Beastie Boys works as well.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you've been so overwhelmed by overenthusiastic believers. I have never been comfortable with that form of evangelism, but I'm told that it can be effective.

I guess your business cards are fair turn-about, but 2 wrongs don't make a right and I think you'll only end up egging them on.

I have a feeling this won't be a very popular answer, but it's what I think, and you asked...

Have a nice night!

Answer 4

Counter tracts, great idea. It would really annoy me if someone came up to me while I was skiing and tried to convert me, especially if they didn't disappear the minute I said "not interested." I would think this sort of behavior turns people off to their beliefs more than anything else.

Answer 5

Be very polite, don't be rude or aggressive like them. Just try to politely interrupt as soon as you hear one of their usal words that identify what their getting to (Jesus, praise, saved,personal savior, etc.), and say "Thank you, but I'm a Buddhist." Turn and walk away. If they continue to harass you, you can either ignore them, or say "Thank you, I'll meditate on it," and continue to walk away. Don't try to argue with them, don't continue to talk to them, that's what they want. If you don't give them what they want, you'll frustrate them, and they will find someone else to bother, because you're no fun. Later when you see them harassing someone else, look up to the sky and say "Thank you Buddha, they targeted that person and not me."

Answer 6

LOVE YOUR CARDS!

My first thought had been to somehow trick them into putting their tongue on the cold metal framework of the lift chair. It may keep them quiet for a fairly long time. Maybe you could tell them if they do it, they will be able to speak in tongues. (tee hee)

My second thought is to just laugh in their face and say something to the effect of "You actually believe that crap?". If they push on with the evangelizing, you could always threaten to push them off the ski lift, waaaaaayyyy up high!

As a last resort, could you contact your ski facility and ask them when these groups are due to arrive? It is likely they've called ahead to get group rates, etc. Maybe you could just avoid skiing on those weekends.

Answer 7

Just push 'em off and tell the police they stated they didnt need the seat belt as god would watch out for 'em.

Answer 8

Accept the tracks with great glee, and explain how you collect them because they're so sick and demented. Then exchange your card. If the start shpeiling, glare and them and ask them if they have a problem.

Answer 9

I can sympathize with your annoyance, but doing that is really only going to make it worse. By telling them you're a satanist you're probably just going to make them try harder to save you, or at least you're going to justify it in their minds that they need to reach out to people in highly annoying and disrespectful ways.

Be tolerant to the last, and maybe karma will reward you. At least eventually.

Answer 10

I really like the business card idea!

Lacking that, you might claim to have Tourette's, and unleash a torrent of profanities when they come within distance. :)

Answer 11

Well, you could ask for their names and addresses and tell them you intend to send them a Satanic Bible considering they were so kind enough to share their literature with you. After all, it is very polite to return the favor.

:-)